If I tell GP I was raped will they report to social services?

[Paulettepink]

Sorry to post again but feeling really lost. I think I should take the morning after pill to be on the safe side but terrified of social services being told what happened.

I just called my local SARC and made an appointment but cancelled when I was told they would inform social services if I came in for the appointment. I was going to try and get an emergency gp appointment this afternoon but now worried that the same thing will happen if I go there?

fastliving no I cant afford another baby though I know the father would make sure the baby wanted for nothing. He wants a baby. Actually wanted us to try. My ex also seems to want us to try again (though that is dependent on him getting the appropriate help)

EvenMoreFuriousVexation thank you, unfortunately I have left it too late now.

Op, your ex doesn't sound like someone you should get back with, especially after this.

Please consider doing the freedom programme and just taking some time to be on your own while you rebuild.

category12 yes you are right. I know I should keep away. I had been doing really well for months but then he reappeared. Thought he had gone again last weekend but he reappeared on Friday

I imagine they will if there was children in the house, it’s standard procedure.

Just makes me feel even more ashamed because I have to keep it a secret

They are unlikely to act if you don’t have him in your life anymore.

Boots chemist can do a script for you in store so it's free. You don't need a GP.

The only reason rape may be reported to SS is if a) children were involved / witnessed b) you stay with the abuser c) you are a risk to them.

They are there to support you not steal your children. Please see the SARC team. Please seek help. This is not something to grit your teeth through.

I was told by a child protection social worker I know that if my name came up again they would likely get involved as my ex was reported to them when I was pregnant. They had no concerns but this would be the third time my name came their way (the police referred a few years ago after I reported a controlling ex, even though my children had never been present. Never even seen him in fact after our relationship started) I just can't take the risk

Op, you've nothing to fear from the social services. They would only want to support you (and get you off their list again).

Have you felt able to speak to Rape Crisis or Women's Aid?

I spoke to Rape Crisis but you are only allowed to call once so I can't call back

Did Rape Crisis give you information regarding your nearest centre? You can find your nearest rape crisis centre here: rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/find-a-rape-crisis-centre/

Please get checked for STD's. You can get checked confidentially and for free at your nearest GUM clinic: www.nhs.uk/service-search/sexual-health-information-and-support/locationsearch/734

Please contact Women's Aid or find your nearest domestic abuse organisation here: www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/ They might have a rape crisis centre as part of their domestic abuse services. They may also have free counselling and trauma support. It sounds as though you need support because of your ex so please contact them for help and advice.

I was raped last year and the police made a social services referral because my son was asleep in his room.

I wish I hadn't bothered reporting the stress it all caused 🙁

I was so angry they reported me, yet he got nothing. And he has two young children of his own. It was so unfair.

12345kbm thank you. There is a lot going on at the moment that's for sure

suesylvesterr I'm sorry that happened. That is very unfair that you are brought to the attention of social services but he is not. What did social services do?

@Paulettepink in all honesty? They victim blamed me. Said I shouldn't have let him in my home and not to have any other men in my house for the foreseeable future. She even told me that if I go out, I need to dress in a certain way to make men not think I'm vulnerable. Took a few months until they decided to close a child in need case.

Just want to clarify that this person was a friend of mine, not just a random "bunk up". I even went to school with him. I was still told off for allowing someone into my home.

suesylvesterr that is awful. I'm so sorry that you have been through all that. That's disgraceful of them to blame you. Confirms to me that this has to stay a secret.

Christ. That’s horrifying. I’m so sorry sue - that was an appalling way to treat you.

I don't mean to scare you off. I didn't expect anything different from SS tbh. I think very little of them as a service.

I'm sorry you've gone through what sounds almost identical to what happened to me. (I've since read your other thread). Proving rape is so hard. As brilliant as the police were, it was a very long and drawn out three months of anxiety and heartache to be told it can't be proved.

That being said, I've never heard from him since and he's disappeared from all social media. Hopefully he's learnt his lesson.

OP, i’m so sorry this happened to you, and even more sad that you are denied effective support because of the stress that a SS referral would bring. Obviously the child protection procedures have a noble aim, but I think something has gone wrong where a mother has potentially more stress and trauma heaped on her if she seeks help. That can’t be right.

Do you have any friends or real life support you can lean on in confidence?

I'm surprised that you can only phone Rape Crisis once, are you sure you haven't got the wrong end of the stick?

category12 I think she said it changed on the 1st April

Tolleshunt I have just told a friend

I don't think you can have that right.

suesylvesterr your story is truly horrifying. You do what people say is the right thing to do and report and then you are the one that ends up in trouble. The system is very broken

It’s not ending up in trouble, SS are damned if they do damned if they don’t. Ss should absolutely get involved if your kids were in the house, that doesn’t mean anything will come of it but they have a duty to check that your children are safe. I’m not a massive fan of social services believe me but it is right that they are informed in this situation.