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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What I have found?!

31 replies

staylor1295 · 14/11/2019 12:05

Me and my husband have been married for 12 years and been together for 19 years. We have 3 children together.

When I was pregnant with my last child 9 years ago I found out that he had been chatting online over social media to an old female school friend, of course I didnt mind. But after a few weeks I saw the messages and once I went to bed at night the messages started getting explicit, sending photos of each other etc.
The next day I confronted him and told him to delete her, so he did.

A year later, I noticed they was friends again and it started again. So again I told him he has a choice, me or her, he chose me and I told him to block her.

Last night his phone was bleeping but he would look at his phone until I got up of the sofa. I felt suspicious!
Unfortunately, I am not sleeping very well at the moment and I was awake and downstairs at 5.30am. I check his phone and it appears that he has downloaded a dating app. There was also conversation on a chat app with a girl mid October that he wants to meet up with a nice lady and have good sex and maybe oral.
Theres also a video on his phone of him playing with himself and making himself cum all over himself.
Fact is that it's not as if he dont get sex, he gets it 1-2 per week. At the moment I have been having lady issues which lasted for 8 weeks and doctor said tests reveal I am early menopause. So with this my sex drive will be lower then normal.
Now do I confront him about this or not?
Or just leave it and carry on. I dont want to be the paranoid wife!

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 14/11/2019 13:47

You're not a paranoid wife op, you're a complete pushover

MrsFoxPlus4Again · 14/11/2019 13:49

He’s cheated a couple of times. At this point I’d just be throwing the whole man out no discussion. Once is a mistake, twice is a choice anytime after that you’ve been a twat

GaaaaarlicBread · 14/11/2019 14:04

You're not being paranoid though OP, you've got actual evidence there. Back the evidence up so you have it in vase he deletes it off his phone and denies it.

What a horrible man, you deserve way better!

AnyFucker · 14/11/2019 18:05

I don't think you are a laydee

pemberlyshades · 15/11/2019 09:22

What @AnyFucker said

RitmoRatmo · 15/11/2019 10:03

What @AnyFucker said here too

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