Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

AIBU - Husbands tattoo

86 replies

Cornishmaid77 · 09/11/2019 12:09

So my husband has gone off today to get a cover up tattoo done. He's just sent me a picture of what he's having done and it's a woman's face! Now I appreciate he's limited to what he's having done because it's a cover up of an old tattoo but I feel really annoyed that he's going to have this beautiful woman's face on his arm forever! I asked him how he'd feel if I had a tattoo of a random man on my arm but I don't think he gets why I'm pissed off. What do you think?

OP posts:

ExcitedForFuture · 09/11/2019 15:21

I wouldn't like this either.

AmIThough · 09/11/2019 15:22

If he has a lot of tattoos I don't think it's an issue as it'll blend in but if it's his only tattoo it seems bizarre

Honeybee85 · 09/11/2019 15:24

I wouldn’t like it either but as long as it’s not his ex’s face I would just accept it....

Focyt · 09/11/2019 15:27

Wow. There are some very insecure women on this thread.

dontgobaconmyheart · 09/11/2019 15:31

Well it's his arm OP? I'm not sure you get a say- it's literally not your body. I'd not like it because I'd think it makes him look a bit of a no-hoper for getting a random tattoo of a woman's face on his arm with no context or meaning at all, but tattoos do nothing for me generally so I'd be silently cringing if DP went for one at all.

I think you'll just have to accept it and spend some time thinking about exactly what bothers you about it and why you feel threatened. If it's literally that you view it as him thinking another women is so beautiful he wants 'her' near him- that is way over the too. I'm sure he checks out real women and probably watches porn OP. The tattoo woman isn't real..

cushioncovers · 09/11/2019 15:35

I think it's weird. Unless it's an iconic figure why would someone have a random face tattooed on them.

Lunafortheloveogod · 09/11/2019 15:39

I’m on team “as long as it’s not Sue from next door”

It’s not someone he knows, it’s just this lady’s head. Assuming she’s not tits out legs akimbo or some other job stopper type of tattoo.. and her face isn’t on his face...

If he’s heavily tattooed it’ll blend in well and if it’s a cover up it’s probably better than what’s below.. unless that’s Sue’s face and she’s getting a Botox sesh... I also know several people with faces tattooed on them who aren’t anyone n not once have they ever been asked is that your mum/daughter/missus

Would it have bothered you if he already had it when you met?
And if it deeply bothers you later could she be turned into a “sugar skull” or get a beard? Make her abstract n not a persons face.

BumbleBeee69 · 09/11/2019 15:47

Wow. There are some very insecure women on this thread.

nah they're probably just as cool as all the cool woman on here...

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 09/11/2019 15:53

Super common kind of tattoo, especially when doing a cover up because you can hide the previous tattoo in the hair of the woman.

Magnificentme · 09/11/2019 15:57

My partner had 3 faces of women on his arms and hand the 1 tattoo looks like me when we met it doesn't bother me at all Tbh

MustardScreams · 09/11/2019 15:59

I think you should work on your insecurity and self-esteem if you’re bothered by a tattoo of a woman. That’s not a fun way to live life at all.

JohnMcCainsDeathStare · 09/11/2019 16:00

As long as it's not a mass of cheapass cabbage roses I wouldn't worry about it.

rvby · 09/11/2019 16:05

nah they're probably just as cool as all the cool woman on here

It's really fucking sad to read such sneering at the idea that women might not need to base their self-worth on what some man does with his body.

This kind of insecurity stems from the idea that you need to be publicly acknowledged as some man's "one and only" in order to be respected by your community. What a load of absolute crap and how fucking disempowering and degrading for the woman in question.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 09/11/2019 16:19

What's being covered up?

BumbleBeee69 · 09/11/2019 16:19

It's really fucking sad to read such sneering at the idea that women might not need to base their self-worth on what some man does with his body.

what's sad is you believe calling women insecure eradicates that ?

JoyceDivision · 09/11/2019 16:24

I'd worry if he starts placing pictures of random women from cotton traders catalogues etc in frames around the house

rvby · 09/11/2019 16:26

How is it sad to call out internalized misogyny for what it is? If you don't name it, you can't address it.

Throwing out the "cool girl" label is just another layer of the same misogyny

BumbleBeee69 · 09/11/2019 16:31

How is it sad to call out internalized misogyny for what it is? If you don't name it, you can't address it.

Throwing out the "cool girl" label is just another layer of the same misogyny

Listen you saddo... I was responding so the insult thrown at OP being INSECURE... Oddly enough your happy with woman being called Insecure but not cool ... well I'll continue to defend the OP and her right to be upset ..whilst you rant about cool comments OKAY.

AtrociousCircumstance · 09/11/2019 16:32

I’d hate that too OP. Tell him how you feel.

SarahTancredi · 09/11/2019 16:32

Depends what the tattoo means for him I guess.

If its some degrading overly sexualised characture if a woman type thing then that would seen a bit off.

If it's the tattoo equivalent of an artist's portrait then i dont see the problem.

It's his body though.his choice.

rvby · 09/11/2019 16:33

She can be upset, sure. Shes being ridiculous though and if she took the opportunity to look at her motivations she would benefit from it.

Or she can indulge in her upset and keep hitching her self worth to nonsense

BumbleBeee69 · 09/11/2019 16:35

She can be upset, sure. Shes being ridiculous though and if she took the opportunity to look at her motivations she would benefit from it.

Or she can indulge in her upset and keep hitching her self worth to nonsense

and I appreciate that ... however we're none of us perfect.

MustardScreams · 09/11/2019 16:42

It’s not being awful to suggest insecurity is a factor, nor is it dragging women down. I’d say the same to a man if he kicked off about his wife getting a man’s face tattooed on him. It’s just a tattoo! If it was a magic one that could give blowjobs then I’d get it, but it’s just a picture on skin.

MustardScreams · 09/11/2019 16:43

*on her

NotStayingIn · 09/11/2019 16:56

Surely he is taking a bit of time to think about it, rather than getting it done straight away?

I would be annoyed if he did something like that spur of the moment when it wasn't even a design he had previously considered.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.