Would you dump him over this ?

[Jadex1]

So I haven't been with my new boyfriend long. He's not been living in this city that long but we hit it off really quickly and got on amazingly.

Everything seemed great but I know it's the honeymoon period and it takes time to know and trust someone.

Anyway the dreaded thing happened where I saw a message come up on his phone. When he went to sleep I read the messages. So it looks like he was dating a girl until he moved here and didn't properly finish with her.

I don't know if they were official but he told her by text she looked gorgeous on her profile picture, he missed her, told her a song made him think of her. He even said to her 'I will never forget what we had'.

She even talked about coming to stay with him here and he said he was really busy atm but he would love her to come 'at some point' and that he wanted to see her.

She sounds massively into him and clearly doesn't know he is in a relationship now. She might even think him and her are still a thing.
I'm actually shaking. I left for work before he woke up, he's texted me and I haven't replied yet. He's a player, isn't he ? That's not friendly texting and hes not being clear with the poor girl. Would you end it with him ?

Short answer. Yes.

Although if you hit it off really quickly and got on amazingly, you wouldn't be tempted to check his phone.

I would, yes. If he can string her along, he won't think twice about doing it to you.

How long have you been dating? You said not long but what does that mean?

I think trust your gut. It sounds as though he is having his cake and eating it and keeping a safety blanket there - it's good you know now before it gets too serious. But you have to ask him, to his face and give him that chance if you want too. Don't lie to your self trust your gut instinct. It's your life and this adventure has only just begun make it a good one even if that means on your own. Be strong.
I personally couldn't be with someone like that but that's my opinion of my life and relationship expectations; you know what yours are deep down too.

I wasn't tempted until i saw the 'thank you ❤️' message from a girl. I have been cheated on in the past and I know checking phones isnt cool, but I have always been right on my instincts.
I know he isn't physically doing anything (or do i) but he's doing this behind my back and also stringing the girl along.

Do you know for sure that he actually has ended it with her? Could he be stringing her along and still 'seeing her' but on a casual basis? How long have you two been together? I wouldn't be happy about someone reading my texts but I guess now you have to have it out with him and ask him. Does he come across as a player to you, i mean before you saw the messages?

I think I would, if not because of his level of involvement with the girl, then because of how he's doing all this behind your back.

We have agreed that we are 'together' and exclusive, it's only been a month so it's brand new.
She's 4 hours away up north and I don't think hes seen her since he moved.
It sounds like he still likes her, doesn't it..

I think id be tempted to put my cards on the table and say that you didn't mean to look at his phone but you saw what you saw. Even though it's quite early days, talking to another woman in that way seems disrespectful to you at best, and a betrayal at worse. What are your instincts telling you?

Yes he does. Run. Don't invest anymore time and feelings.

Trust yourself here

Run!
If he is doing this during the honeymood period, how's it going to be two years in?!
Trust your instincts.

oops, honeymoon!!! Haha.

I feel like it's emotional cheating. If he's with me and happy, why does he need to be doing this ?
It's not like they ended things and then agreed to be friends, they are emotional and flirtatious texts.
He's telling her what she wants to hear and maybe keeping her as a back up plan in case me and him don't work out.

It is! Dump the fucker.

If he likes back up plans he probably has a few more options closer to home too. I would save yourself the time and tears now!

Dump this emotionally unfaithful TWAT OP, you deserve so much better.. he's hedging his bets, the cretin.

@fishing1 start a new thread :)

Block him and never speak to him again, that’s wt I’d do

@fishing1 i'm so sorry to hear that :( can you confront him about the text ?

Run, she may not be living next door...but his conduct is not a good sign as to who he is. This is just one woman he is chasing/ dangling on a string, and there may well be others. He clearly thinks it is ok to flatter her and forget to mention you in his messages. He has some dubious morals and it is only a matter of time/ opportunity before he 'forgets' about you and his eyes wander to another woman who catches his glance. You cannot change people like this, but you can change your relationship with them. In the honeymoon period, he should be treating you like his only female interest...run, run as fast as you can.

I've been cheated on before, I think there are many cheats out there sadly but also decent honest men who wouldn't do stuff like this ! Exactly, if he's doing that already, what else is he capable of. Adios !