Would you dump him over this ?

[Jadex1]

So I haven't been with my new boyfriend long. He's not been living in this city that long but we hit it off really quickly and got on amazingly.

Everything seemed great but I know it's the honeymoon period and it takes time to know and trust someone.

Anyway the dreaded thing happened where I saw a message come up on his phone. When he went to sleep I read the messages. So it looks like he was dating a girl until he moved here and didn't properly finish with her.

I don't know if they were official but he told her by text she looked gorgeous on her profile picture, he missed her, told her a song made him think of her. He even said to her 'I will never forget what we had'.

She even talked about coming to stay with him here and he said he was really busy atm but he would love her to come 'at some point' and that he wanted to see her.

She sounds massively into him and clearly doesn't know he is in a relationship now. She might even think him and her are still a thing.
I'm actually shaking. I left for work before he woke up, he's texted me and I haven't replied yet. He's a player, isn't he ? That's not friendly texting and hes not being clear with the poor girl. Would you end it with him ?

Thanks for all the replies here helping me to see sense !

He’s keeping his options open, you may be exclusive but it doesn’t sound like he’s that serious. Speak to him about it

Just like to give another perspective. My situation is slightly different than yours.

I found out recently, at the start of my relationship there was another woman my boyfriend was also pursuing. She did not want him sexually so I 'won' by default.

Of course if I knew then what was going on, I would have 100% dumped him but I had no idea.

We have now been together 18 months. We have a good relationship and we are planning to buy a house together next year etc.

My sister was also in a similar situation at the start of her relationship with her husband, he had a female friend but this female friend he had a romantic involvement with.

He chose my sister over this 'friend' and that was that.

Thing is I think for a lot of men there is always another woman lurking about. Until they know for sure where the current relationship heading, they will keep their bets open.

I am not saying you OP did not make the right decision ending it with this guy but not everything is so clear cut in life sadly.

Well done OP. Did you tell him why you ended it?

Thank you. I didn't, as even if he stopped now I wouldn't be able to trust him in the future. This and previous cheating, makes me wonder how many you can actually trust ?

@ukgift2016
Hmmm.... I'm not sure everyone wants to "win" by default.....

@ukgift2016 so he's with you because you shagged him and the other woman wouldn't?

Well played Jadex for dumping yours. That'll bruise his mighty ego!