How do you think new partners view your post baby body? Mens answers very welcome!!

[Louise000000]

I'm slim and I am always told I look good for having had 3 kids, I've worked hard for it over the years. But.....what about getting naked with a new partner? What do they think about a stretch marked stomach (deflated balloon in my case) and boobs that have well and truly been used (breastfed all 3 for 2 years each!! Let's imagine a pair of nipples attached to a ribcage here!!)
Do men mind things like this? Are they just glad to getting action?
Share your experiences! ! X

It's been said before on here, but
(1) most men feel rather glad that a(ny) woman is getting naked in front of them
(2) most men are not the image of Adonis, either
(3) sensible men those who might want to get naked with recognise that bodies have a history.
(4) own your body; better to be honest rather than trying to hide away and be all self-conscious about it.

I agree with @waterSpider last post, most men would find it far more attractive if you just owned what you have, rather than worrying about what they think. Any sensible man isn't looking for a supermodel, they're looking for a confident woman

My stomach really effects me I had a c section and have the dreaded apron plus stretch marks luckily I can wear tight dresses ect and looks like a flat stomach since my c section 9 years ago no one had seen my stomach apart from me .I've been with my dp 4 years now and after a few months he asked why I never get completely naked I was so embarrassed he can't understand what the problem is so I don't think it bothers him . I had to let him see it last week as I'm pregnant and was in for a scan .I'm due to get another c section and terrified my stomach will look even worse .

I guess this kind of depends on the answer one is looking for.

What waterSpider said is the diplomatic way of putting it in that it addresses the idea that most men will understand and accept the changes time and life present, and are largely OK with it.

Much like there aren't many women who will look at a new man and think "Wow, those man boobs and gut hanging over the belt is HOT" not many men will look at a new woman and think "Wow, those stretchmarks, and deflated boobs are HOT"

Most people aren't actively attracted to those types of life imposed changes, but I think most people are understanding and accepting of them.

I haven’t had a new partner post childbirth. Still with the father.
He likes to see me naked. I am a bit shy and self conscious because my body is definitely that of a mother.

I actually asked my ex partner and father of my children how he thought a new man would act if I got my c section flabby belly out, (I gym 5 days a week and am in good shape but my belly)
I was told a new man would probably run away once hed seen that . He had always told me not to hide it and dont be ashamed of it but that he accepted it because it was his children I'd given birth to but a new man wouldn't want anything to do with me because of it.

Lyingtwat I suspect he was being spiteful- did he not want to be the ex? I have the attitude that I am what I am, good and bad. I am more concerned about getting into another dodgy relationship than what they think of my body.

Lyingtwat, he is your ex for a reason. Whatever he says now, the opposite is most likely to be the truth.

@lyingtwat

I think that hits on the main complexity with this question. When it is a long term partner, there is a history there and all of the changes are part of that history and have meaning within the context of the relationship. There is also a level of comfort with the familiar.

I think that was a pretty harsh thing your ex said. Unnecessarily hurtful. From what you describe, I doubt a new man would run because of that, but I also doubt he would find it attractive.

My ex said 5 days after my emergency c section that he thought my stomach would be flat again by then

Idiot.
After a lot of sit ups it is flat again and he does not get to enjoy it one tiny bit

You do know that being slim is not the defining characteristic of men appreciating a woman’s body? Plenty of men prefer heavier women.....

@Lyingtwat he's talking rubbish, I'm single but had a FWB for a long time after splitting from my son's dad. I have a wobbly belly, stretch marks, saggy boobs and my FWB had no complaints at all.

I wonder about this sometimes but only in a theoretical way as I am married. My opinion is that it would be perfectly obvious to anyone I was dating that I was mid 40s with two children and they would expect my body to reflect that.

You know lots of men and women don’t have perfect bodies and haven’t even had children.

I met my now DH when I'd had a baby, gained loads of weight after I'd had her and then lost even more. I was basically a deflated balloon that looked great in clothes .
Since then I've gained weight, had another baby, lost weight, gained weight and now lost again.
He has only ever loved and appreciated my body. He's always been way kinder to me about it than I am to myself. And very eager for it to be naked as often as possible .

I think women give more if a shit about their bodies than men do.

I agree @BooFuckingHoo2 I'm just describing my body type as slim as a bit of background about me.

Bloke here. This:

(1) most men feel rather glad that a(ny) woman is getting naked in front of them

In fact it's an understatement. Any bloke who complains/makes adverse comments on post-baby-body should be dumped at some convenient moment.

Thanks for the input, it is different as my dh knew what I was like before and would see that my body is now different etc but a new man although aware I've got children may have never seen this kind of body.
It's something I've never had to consider before obviously (recently seperated)
But something that just occurred to me!
I disagree @samyeagar I quite like a big hairy dad bod to a overly preened love island type bod! Like a big bear!

@onlineshopping totally! I just can't even remember the feeling of getting naked with someone knew as it's been many years and now it's with added bonus of the post baby skin/stretch marks etc

I'm a man.

I'm slim and Generally speaking like women with a body shape similar to myself. However I'm an ugly fucker at best, and beggars really can't be choosers!
Stretch marks and well suckled breasts really don't bother me in the slightest.

Iv had 2 kids.

And since them Iv recently slept with a handful of men.. one for about 10 months... and if anything he gave me more confidence then the father of my children. Constantly telling me how sexy I am, that there not even that bad, that I’m fit etc... I never had one comment off him about them!

Iv slept with a couple of other men as well and they have never said anything bad, they have always just said it’s who you are.

I used to really worry but I don’t anymore.

As a man as long as the attraction is there in the first place it doesnt matter so much. I'd rather be with someone with stretchmarks and well used boobs whom I can have fun with, a good conversation and cuddles on the sofa than any supermodel.

I don't agree that "men" actively dislike stretch marks and sagginess. Lots of men like softer, squishier textures on a body.

I love thin men with bellies, I also like acne scars, cleft palate repair scars, lisps, stammers, shorter men, men with thicker necks and smaller/less prominent jaws. I'm not supposed to like any of those things, but in practice I absolutely love them.

There will be men who have similar unpopular but whole-hearted preferences in women's bodies.

Realising that has really helped me embrace my body as it is. There really is a lid for every pot imo.

My dp has dated women of most body types. His view is "I don't care what the body looks like as much as I care how the woman feels about her body" for him confidence and self love is the thing.

Also fwiw he didn't know me before I had DC, he has only known me post partum. I was still leaking milk when we first shagged ffs! He loves and accepts me as I am

I think alot of men have similar hang ups about their bodies (obviously men style ones not from childbirth )
There's not many men my age (50) that have the bodies of super models, nor would we want them to .
I think as long as you both click, how your body looks comes 2nd. My newish man seems happy with mine, even tho it's baggy with a big scar & a hangover bit. I regularly exercise, but this is how it stays.