Permission from DH to dye my hair

[Struggles123]

I dyed my hair and my DH initial reaction was that he didn’t like it & he hopes it’s not permanent. I said don’t worry it’s a semi and the first couple of washes loads of the colour will come out.

It has faded. I like it. It’s not far from my natural colour.

My DH was in a mood one evening & he turned around and said to me that he finds me unattractive with this hair colour (which I find hurtful) and that next time I want to make a change to my physical appearance that I should consult him first.
I didn’t agree. I explained that it will wash out in a few months & How am I supposed to grow old with you if you can be so shallow with regards to my looks??
A day later when he was in a better mood I tried to address it again and he didn’t change his mind. He was full on moody that I dyed my hair without speaking with him first.

Do you find this reasonable please?

Of course it's not reasonable. Tell him to fuck off!

Of course it's not reasonable.

He's within his rights not to like it but he has zero rights in telling you what you can and cannot do to your appearance. Cheeky twat.

What? Have you asked his permission to grow old?! What a shallow git and complete fucking wierdo. Who the fuck thinks their wife should ask permission for anything like this?

Turns out you married a man from the 1950s. What a shame.

Obviously he will have an opinion on how you look but he needs to learn to keep it to himself. I’m sure you would find some things unattractive on him but you would be more tactful about it (or just keep your mouth shut).

If I were you I would dye my hair again in an even more outrageous colour in the hope that he soda off back to his time machine.

Fuck that!
Next it’ll be him telling you what to wear, where to go, who to be friends with and how often you see/speak to your family!

What a knob.

Does he check with you before he buys a new shirt or shaves?

Of course he isn't reasonable. In your place I would be going full rainbow unicorn hair with clothes to match. He doesn't have to like your hair but he doesn't get a say in what you do with it.

No it's not reasonable. Tell him you'll dye your hair any bloody colour you like. And maybe tell him that you don't find the colour of his hair particularly attractive either, but that a) it's his hair so he can do what he likes with it and b) you're not shallow or controlling enough to make a fuss about it.

NO!

Run.

No not at all reasonable
You should consult him first?! Seriously. I would have laughed in my husband's face if I said something like that. Wow.

I dyed mine pink this week, would never think to ask my oh, and if he didnt like it, my answer would be 'fuck him' to put it simply!!!

Tell him to fuck off, we’re not living in Gilead. I doubt you find him very attractive when he acts like such a moody, childish, controlling dick either? Maybe point that out to him.

Thank you for your replies.
I don’t like the way he went about telling me that he didn’t like it, calling me unattractive, but I hate the way he is making out hair colour is such a big deal when we are married he should love me for me!
Unfortunately there is no reasoning with him on this one, so it’s nice to be reassured that he is being a twat x

I had this with my first husband. No way now would I get permission for things! I dye my hair what colour I want! That is totally controlling behaviour and it can only get worse.

Its perfectly reasonable for him to say, "you look beautiful blonde, but i love your brunette better". People are allowed opinions. It is NOT reasonable for him to get moody over you colouring your hair without asking him.

My DH may comment that I should "grow old gracefully " to which I say "when I'm old I will but being only 42 I don't want to be gray" BUT he would never tell me not to dye my hair.

I'm a natural mid Brown/grey mix (with patches of pure white in places) in the past have been red and darker brown then took the plunge and went blonde as hides it so much better but have sported lilac, pale blue and currently pastel pink at the moment...he doesn't care as I'm still me and he would love me bald in a black plastic sack.

Obviously he'd prefer me to dress slightly sexier! And admits although he thought he would hate the lilac, he actually likes the "fun" hair colours now he's got used to them.

He loves me for me...you should have someone who loves you for you and not your hair colour.

Does he comment in the same way on your clothes? That would make me wary of being the start of controlling behaviour

Eeeeek id probably tell him first, I'd probably be pissed off if he shaved his head without mentioning it. However not sure if him disagreeing would actually stop me. So maybe it would all be a bit pointless.

It's fair enough for him to express an opinion on the colour / style. DH and I have told each other if we've not been keen on hair colours / beard styles (on him, not me ) and general things.

It's really knobish behaviour to tell you that you should be consulting him on any changes. He is way out of order.

How would you feel if he turned up with his head and eyebrows shaved, nipple rings, tattoos etc? If you wouldn’t mind then great. If you would (and I think most women would) then he has a very good point

He is definitely being a twat. My husband has a preference on hair colour: “I liked it when it was kind of stripey” (he meant when I had highlights, bless him) but that’s it. I can take his preference into account or not.

What colour is it out of interest?

How would you feel if he turned up with his head and eyebrows shaved, nipple rings, tattoos etc?

Yep, that's not really at all comparable to temporarily dyeing your hair a different colour which fades to a similar colour to your natural one within a few days, is it?

@GrumpyHoonMain

he has a very good point

Eh? No he fucking doesn't. He's being a controlling twat.
Maybe your standards are so low that you'll allow a man to tell you what to do with your body but, for the most part, the rest of us aren't doormats.

HTH