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Original poster

Man I like sent me flirty text - what now?

57 replies

butterflyFed · 28/10/2019 21:55

I am feeling butterflies but also feeling clueless since I have been out of the game for over 10 years, so I need some hand-holding and advice to not make a fool of myself.

A couple of months ago, a new guy joined our company. The first time we met, I felt he looked at me "differently", but also maybe surprised since I am a woman in a male dominated field.

I have invited him to join our after work drinks but he didn't and also cut our chat short at 5 as he had to leave (company chat can be accessed from personal phones though).

Fast forward and he quit today. I sent him a message to keep in touch and gave him my number. This afternoon I received an "anonymous" message asking me to guess who it was. I replied another secret admirer and he was flirty saying things like I am hot and he will be hitmen for Halloween.

How do I go from here to a drink/date??

OP posts:
funnylittlefloozie · 28/10/2019 22:38

Send him back a text saying "fancy a drink?". If he says yes, arrange a time and place.

WTF does that bit about a hitman at Halloween mean?

funnylittlefloozie · 28/10/2019 22:40

Oh btw... he quit his job after two months and he sends anonymous messages? Tbh, he sounds a bit of a dickhead. Just keep your wits about you, OP.

MissLadyM · 28/10/2019 22:46

Urgh, he wants a shag. Sorry but it's not classy and nicely convenient for him.

MyOtherProfile · 28/10/2019 22:46

Do you think he thought he couldn't approach you whole you were colleagues but now he quit so the field is open?

LHReturns · 28/10/2019 22:52

Why on earth would he reply to your (very nice) text with an anonymous text? Is he 16?

Original poster
butterflyFed · 29/10/2019 00:10

@LHReturns we did not have each other's number. I messaged him on LinkedIn, we agreed to take meet for a coffee sometime and I left my number. Later in the day I received the "anonymous" message (he had not given me his number).

@MyOtherProfile he was in the company a short time and we work in different offices, so no time. There were a couple of things to indicate he fancied me and a couple of things that made me think he was not interested. I think my reply to his text saying a "secret admirer" was flirty and opened the door?

@funnylittlefloozie it is a small world and I know he is very competent. It looks like he was not getting paid... He is a contractor so not on payroll. The hitman comment... don't want to paste the convo but I think it is his way of saying "I will hit on you". He is... IT, a bit nerdy.

@MissLadyM why you think so?

OP posts:
Flyingf1edgelings · 29/10/2019 00:20

Place marking. Why do people jump to the bad when it comes to men so quickly 🤷‍♀️
He clearly likes you, otherwise w
Why message you.

penisbeakers · 29/10/2019 00:25

The fact that he hasn't shared his number but wants to hang out shrieks alarm bells. Don't meet him without a number.

StudentHelp · 29/10/2019 00:32

Ask him if he wants to go for a drink

JenniferM1989 · 29/10/2019 00:39

Well the OP has his number now so he isn't with holding it. She messaged him on LinkedIn and gave him her number and he then text her but since she never got his, that made it 'anonymous'. She knows it's him now obviously and has his number since he's text her

Original poster
butterflyFed · 29/10/2019 00:45

@penisbeakers we work together and have friends in common! We have already hung out, just need to confirm it is his number (90% yes) so I don't make a fool of myself thinking we flirted if it was someone else (but I don't give my number away... and the person writing knows me).

I am thinking of drink after work Friday. Invite him through Linkedin, and after a drink or two ask if he was the one sending the messages?

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 29/10/2019 06:33

So he hasn't confirmed that it's his number? That's a bit odd.

Maybe it's been lost in translation but 'hitmen on Halloween' would really have me scratching my head.

TheCatInAHat · 29/10/2019 06:36

He does sound like a bit of a dick, or just completely incompetent at flirting. He’s making himself sound a bit dangerous or unstable.

cocomelon23 · 29/10/2019 06:40

I have no idea what hitmen on Halloween means but he sounds a bit immature.

TildaTurnip · 29/10/2019 06:44

Have you any way of finding out if it is him? I’d be wary of continuing the conversation by text until I knew for sure who’s number it is.

category12 · 29/10/2019 07:05

Is he single?

Crystal87 · 29/10/2019 07:17

It will be him but I wouldn't like this. He probably doesn't realise it comes across weird. I'd ring him so you know for sure.

NameChangeNugget · 29/10/2019 07:59

Play on player.

He’s hiding something

MyOtherProfile · 29/10/2019 08:17

It's not odd at all. She sent her number online. He has messaged that number. He hasn't signed his name because he probably assumes he is the only new bloke she has given her number to and will know it is him
In this situation would you send a text and sign it from Jim, you know, the bloke who just left your work who you just sent your number to?

ISawyouinTescoyesterday · 29/10/2019 08:33

Sounds odd. Block him if he can't behave normally then he probably can't have a decent relationship.

Windmillwhirl · 29/10/2019 08:38

Block him? FGS it's a bit of banter.

Loaf90 · 29/10/2019 08:42

100% this won't work out. Please do keep us posted though OP

MyOtherProfile · 29/10/2019 08:42

In what way is he not behaving normally?

AnuvvaMuvva · 29/10/2019 09:04

Sounds like you're doing all the heavy lifting here, OP.

He has:

  • looked at you "differently"
  • maybe or maybe not called you "hot"

You have:

  • Chatted to him on the company text (which he then cut short)
  • Chased him through LinkedIn after he quit
  • Sent your number
  • Asked him to meet for a coffee

I wouldn't ask him for a drink too. Not for some old-fashioned reason, just that men tend to become dicks when the woman makes all the effort. 😆

He's got your number. Now wait for him to ask you out properly. He knows how to do it.

AnuvvaMuvva · 29/10/2019 09:06

There were a couple of things to indicate he fancied me and a couple of things that made me think he was not interested.

I think the fact that he left without asking you out or getting your number suggests that he's not very interested.

What were the things (above) that you took as signs he WAS keen? And the signs that he wasn't?