I can’t cope anymore.

[vvbrownxo]

Hi all. I am currently 12 months into living with my “boyfriend”

He is awful. He calls me names and constantly shouts at me for stupid things. Spends 0 time on me and has never offered a gift or date of any kind. He has me in debt and I have had to borrow thousands off my family to the point where they are barely speaking to me. He puts his friends before me constantly and won’t help me out with rent or food money, however I work full time and he doesn’t, I’m running our home solo and I struggle on my 17k wage.

Today is my birthday. He is out with his mates spending money on beer etc for them. I’m at home cleaning. I’m so sad and miserable. He hasn’t even bought me a card and has threw in my face that I didn’t get him a present for his, baring in mind he’s had around 20k off me this year - and I couldn’t afford a present. My financial situation is so bad I am now legally bankrupt, in 2 years I have gone from having absolutely everything, a car, good credit and a social life to now where I have absolutely nothing to my name. I don’t know how to leave as despite all this I love him (??!!) and I am a fool in thinking he loves me.
I have to vent to someone, my mum will go crazy if she knows what’s going on - as I’ve lied about where my money goes, stupidly. I just want to go home to my mum and cry and tell her everything but I can’t.

I think this is just a rant.

The best birthday present you can give yourself is rebuilding your life without this sponging, lazy taker in it. If he offers you any money then please take it. You deserve far, far better than this. Get yourself back on your feet financially. Out there somewhere will be a man who will make you wonder what you ever saw in this bastard.

Seriously, leave this wasteman and talk to your mum. You are beyond silly if you carry on with this shit.

OP I’m very glad you’ve gone to your mum just make sure you sort out what is happening with the house now you’ve left. If you paid the rent and utilities the last thing you need is to be racking up more debts if you’re not living there and he is. You can be pretty sure he won’t be paying any of it and I speak sadly from personal experience.

I recently dumped a sponger. While relationship breakups are distressing, it feels so liberating afterwards. I feel like a new woman, and you will too. What you are experiencing is financial and emotional abuse which falls under the umbrella of domestic violence. Leave him, remove your property, expect fake pleading from the man...the piggy bank has sealed shut, he may not give up without a protest. Get some counselling to improve your self esteem and make sure this mess doesn't happen to you again. Plenty of leeches out there at all times of life. They are opportunistic and looking for the next person to finance their life. The key is to spot them and run. You can turn your life around, but work on your self confidence before starting another relationship.