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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH just shouted at me at kids party

80 replies

GloriaMaximus · 20/10/2019 13:15

DS is at a bowling party, tomorrow e are sat out of the way watching rugby when he starts asking me about my shifts at work. He then shouted that he has already told me has plans on such a date (he didn't) then gaslights me continuously until he gets to part truth (a horrendous habit).

We then have this awful argument in from of a room full of people so now I've left.

It's so pathetic but I'm really starting to resent him. To top it off we are TC and Af came this morning.

I have left him before this very similar behaviour. He can be so vicious. I feel like a fool and so embarrassed. I know TTC is the worst thing we can be doing now but without him I can't even work. He works stupid hours in the week so I have to accommodate that and then I work most weekends 20 hours minimum.

The day he's moaning about will be the one and only day off together before the new year. I don't mind that he wants to do other stuff it's more the fact that he automatically assumes I have issues with it. My issues are with the way he is with me, not his social life.

I'm so ready to leave him again at the moment. I just don't know how.

OP posts:
Seaweed42 · 21/10/2019 16:05

I have sympathy for your situation, however staying in your car and not contacting anyone was a behavioural stunt to frighten your partner and get back at him. Your son is 8. His mother disappeared from his party and no one knew where she was all night long. Did you not care that your child might be desperately worried about you? Please try to think of your son first in these situations and how both your own and your partner's behaviour effects him. Just because your partner is a prick does not make your disappearing act behaviour ok when there is a child of 8 getting caught in the crossfire.

Pumpkintopf · 23/10/2019 18:42

How are you op?

nowayhose · 24/10/2019 16:13

I can't believe you've 'started to resent him' :(

I'd be more concerned with how exactly I was going to fu**g well drop kick his ass down the road !

You do not deserve to be bullied and publicly humiliated by this arse hole !!!!!!!! :(

For both your and your DC's sake, GET OUT of this so called relationship NOW ! At least then you'll know you and DC will have a calm and relaxed Xmas.
And NO WAY should you TTC with this 'man', EVER !

nowayhose · 24/10/2019 16:20

Gloria, you said you couldn't just drive 200 miles with your DC to be with family/ friends, YES YOU CAN hon.

Take your DC in the car and go ! You don't need to go to a refuge, you CAN go to your mothers and tell her what's been happening and that you are NEVER going back.
Then get a new job and apply for housing and start to rebuild your life without him.

Alwaysgrey · 24/10/2019 16:36

You don’t have to stay with this man. You are important and worth something. Even if you take some time to gather all that you need to have posted on here is step 1. That you recognise that the relationship isn’t good.

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