NC for this as outing.
Been together 4 years, lived together for almost 2, bought a house together earlier this year. Got engaged in April, getting married next year.
He’s kind, funny and the best looking man I’ve ever seen in my life. Hugely supportive of me and constructive when he needs to be. I generally look forward to getting home and seeing him. He’s so laid back he’s horizontal, which counters my slight neurotic tendencies.
Unfortunately I think this laid back-ness has put us into a little rut. We’ve got into a horrible routine of home – dinner (which I usually cook but I generally don’t mind as I like cooking) – telly / nothing – bed. Weekends we either do nothing (occasional dinners or cinema), housework or I tend to go out with friends. It all feels a bit suffocating. We’re both up at 5am every day so it’s hard to do anything in the week, but this routine is boring me to death. Weekends we will only do something if I suggest it.
He’s getting sloppy around the house – while he tends to do his fair share, as well as jobs that I don’t like doing (cat litter, bins etc) or I can’t do (building shit), he leaves everything at his arse and I have to pick it up after him or it won’t get moved. Usually litter, coffee cups, that sort of thing. Leaves towels hanging over doors which annoys the fuck out of me. A trivial thing I know but all part of my current mood.
Our sex life had dwindled – we still fancy each other for sure, but this boring routine has sapped any want to DTD.
I have mentioned this feeling to him, I get an “ok babe” and he will arrange something / be more spontaneous / pick up after himself etc etc. It lasts a day or two then we’re back to square one.
I want to marry him and I want to be with him but I can’t carry on in this rut. Reading this back it all sounds hugely trivial, but I feel it’s actually affecting my mental wellbeing.
Is counselling a step too far? How can I kick he (and I) up the arse and get things fun again? Or is this just a 4 year itch?