is he doing this to rub it in?

[haplessharpie]

my (ex) boyfriend ended our year relationship on Wednesday. His reasoning was that I had spoken to him disrespectfully on two occasions in the last week. "Disrespectfully" to him means asking him for help with something, as I am just out of hospital. I have never once sworn at him or raised my voice. He told me I need to see a therapist because I made people feel bad.

He is a massive stonewaller and general child when he thinks he has been "wronged". Usually he won't even look at him when I have mysteriously upset him saying "I cant bear to look at you".

It's my birthday today. We were meant to be going away on holiday in the UK, obviously not now.

I have tried to remain dignified but I woke up this morning to a flowery breezy message off him "Happiest of Birthdays (pet name)! I hope you have the most amazing day!! xxxx"

I don't know why I'm posting, I'm just angry. Why would he do this? I don't understand the reasoning for us breaking up, he's ruined our weekend plans and now he's acting like a great guy.

He has form for "breaking up" and then saying he "overreacted".

Is he a narcissist? A psychopath?

When my mum heard about the way he broke up with, she said she was concerned he would turn violent in the future given how cold and distant he was.

Happy birthday, and congratulations on getting rid of this twat. Ignore him and discover how much better your life can be from now on.

Prick. Block him.

It doesn't matter why he's sending that message. What matters is what you do next. He isn't going to change, and he will get worse. Imagine a life time of that- being ignored or dumped over every minor slight. You'll end up walking on eggshells around him in a desperate attempt to keep him happy, and even that won't be enough. Cut all ties now. It will be easier and more straight cut ending it properly now rather than after you buy a joint property, get married and have children. You deserve better.

Sounds like the best present ever - block the idiot.

Happy Birthday

He can't be bothered with your birthday and the attention not being on him. He'll be back next week or so.

Personally I'd block him now and please myself. Happy birthday.

Ignore the message and either take a friend on the holiday with you, or go alone / rearrange if possible. Don't let him drag you down any longer. He sounds like a total dick.

He sounds like an abusive wanker, please don't get back with him.

Happy Birthday- have a great time. xxx

Run for the nearest hills.........don’t look back ...

Happy birthday.

Breaking up with you was the best gift. Block him and never have anything more to do with him.

He's playing you. He wants you to think you're in with a chance again then he's going to drop you and hurt you all over again. He's manipulative.

Run.

Happy birthday! If you commit to keeping this manipulative arse out of your life I think you’ll have a fabulous birthday next year. Either very happy alone or with a great guy who doesn’t treat you like shit.

All of the above, with knobs on. But don't reply. It gives him an 'in' - he'll reply, you reply - hey ho - here it goes again.

Just silence. Block him and move forward. One thing I'd wished I'd learned when younger is understanding that you can put yourself first and get out of relationships that make you feel bad and that that is an essential life skill - especially - especially - for a woman..

Next time - don't let it happen more than once.

Happy birthday
Think you are well rid of him he should want to help you if you are just out of hospital

Well from a distance it's hard not to think that breaking up with you was the best present this bloke could have given you.
Block and move on with the rest of your life. He was far too controlling to be healthy for you.

Happy birthday lovely

@ AFairlyHardAvocado excellent post.

If I was your mum I’d be sick with worry that you’d take him back.

Make plans with your friends for your birthday. Drinks, dinner...anything. Enjoy your freedom.

Block block block

He's emotionally abusive. Maybe it's narcissistic, maybe just arsehole, but you don't need this in your life. Someone who tells you you make people feel bad and gets on their high horse about you being 'disrespectful' for needing soemthing from them belongs so far away from being in a relationship with you that you'd need a telescope to see them

you deserve better. Block him.

He’s thinking birthday sex

I don’t be tempted to respond with ‘New phone, who dis? ‘

Happy Birthday. Gift yourself a sparkly new future without him. Block on all fronts.

What a nasty message.

“Happiest” of birthdays. Sure, after being dumped. Thanks, mate.

Here in Australia we call C U Next Tuesdays mate & mates this word

Happy birthday OP!

Now's the perfect time to reply with "who is this?"

Then delete/block.

What a fuckin' loser.
Ignore and never bother with this toolbag again.
You've had a lucky escape.