Boyfriend's mum and comments on my looks

[TinyTinyTinyTiny]

Long story short:
Im 24, been with boyfriend for a few months. Every time i see my boyfriend's mum she comments on how tiny I am - I am tiny being 5'0 and 7 stone 4 but I dont need to be told 24/7.
It's like his family see it as my defining characteristic with his dad telling friends when they ask about me as boyfriend's new girlfriend that I'm the tiniest, petitiest person they would see
His teenage brother said I was really pretty but really short to my boyfriend behind my back (boyfriend told me they had an argument about it)
And it's getting me down. Yes i'm small but that's my body and something i cant change so I hate how every time I'm at their house I feel conscious about my height. My boyfriend doesnt make me feel bad about it and tells me his family love me but it's just nibbling at my esteem

Are they all very tall? I ask because my DD2 is very tall. She takes after my DH's side of the family. Most of my family are very small. People in family constantly make comments about DD2s height. They don't really mean anything by it but I think she gets very fed up with it. It's not like she can change it, same as you cannot change your height. I have no advice for you but I can see it is very wearing.

It's annoying, but counter their silliness with "the best things come in small packages" and the like.

I envy you! I think small dainty women look lovely.

I'm tall for a female, and my height is often commented on, sometimes in jest or even unkindly. I let it sail over me now.

I feel for you OP.

Perhaps your BF can have a talk with his family about how it makes you feel to hear their comments on your height all the time?

Don’t let it impact your relationship with your BF in a negative way.

YANBU. I am 5' 4" and have some very tall cousins. We're all around 40 years old now but my height has been mentioned every time we see each other for the last 30 years. Because they are cousins I can tell them that they need to get some new topics of conversation if their interests haven't evolved in that time. I know you can't say that to your boyfriend's family!

Take it as a compliment! I'm five foot also, and have always loved my height. I've loved being the tiny one all my life and heels or flats you will always look ultra feminine and super cute xxxx

To me it's the same as constantly telling an overweight person "you're the biggest person i've seen", his girlfriend "is the largest, curviest girl you would ever see", that wouldnt be appropriate so I don't see how it's appropriate to say to a short, skinny person

*that would be inappropriate sorry!

Diamonds don't come as big as paving slabs.

And walk off

I understand I am 5ft 1 and about 43 kg normally

With my last relationship, his family werent bothered about my height, his dad would call me "wee (and then my name)" - he was scottish - but that didnt bother me because it wasnt said condescendingly,
But i feel really belittled (excuse the pun) when i visit his family

Tell them you're fun size lol. That's what I tell DP all the time (I'm 5'2", he's 6ft).

I understand what you're saying though, it is really annoying when people constantly comment on a physical characteristic.

My MIL does this. She's overweight and constantly comments on how I'm tiny (I'm not particularly) and how I either don't eat enough or eat too much (I do neither). I just ignore, it just demonstrates her own issues with food and weight and has nothing to do with me really.

An example of the condescending is when i first met them,
My boyfriend goes around the dinner table,
"How old does she look?"
And his mum goes
"15" then laughed and said she was joking and that it's just because i'm "tiny" (i hate the word tiny now hahah)

Not literally around the table, i meant he asked everyone whilst we were eating around the table

My fil always makes jokes about my height (I’m 5.3) we get on super well and I joke back with him about his height 5.8. You sound perfectly proportioned, don’t make any comment when they say it, just swiftly move on to talking about something else. Try and not let it upset you, your bf obviously thinks you are lovely.

I've had this all my life, I'm 5ft 2 and weigh 7.5 stone. I have the appetite you wouldn't believe though! I can out-eat anyone so that helps counter their first impression that I must live on salad leaves! (Yes that was said to me once, and I remember thinking then, you wouldn't say the opposite if I was very overweight!) Anyway no advice but a general 'I feel your pain' reply. I'm 43 and it no longer bothers me, but my younger self it certainly did x

Why did your BF ask how old his family thought you looked though?

Thanks for the "I feel your pain" comments, after all the "youre the tiniest person" comments, i began to feel like I was the only one and some sort of circus creature hahaha,

He asked because i always joke to him that i'm going to be forever youthful and he says I do look my age (whereas I do accept that I look younger - babyface and short - i'm not in denial, i just dont need constant comments haha)

You're right to be annoyed and you need to let them know it's getting boring. You could start with changing the subject as soon as they start, move on to eye rolling, outright sarcasm and leaving the room. Escalate as required.

i always joke to him that i'm going to be forever youthful

I’m very short but am under no illusions that I will look forever youthful!

@fedup21 it's just a joke, like people make funsize jokes about themselves, I said in the sentence it the word "joke"

Boyfriends and girlfriends joke to each other all the time, i dont mind joking to him about my height and him making jokes because I know he adores me, but when his family do it, it hits at my insecurities because it's said in a belittling way

*"How old does she look ?"

i mean he asked everyone whilst we were eating around the table*

Why??

5ft and between 6.5 and 7 stone (my weight fluctuates between the two.)

I get it. It's annoying. Really annoying.

I used to snap back with the same sort of comments but related to that person. So if they were larger, I retaliated to say so.

But, of course, people don't like that and, because slim and petite is 'desirable', they feel that the comments are harmless whereas retorting 'You need to eat less!' causes arguments.

In the end I just completely ignore the person and comments. If anyone mentions it, blank them. Pretend they've not said anything.
It's tedious but when there's no reaction from you, it takes the 'comments' away.

I'm single at the moment, but if I was to date again, I'd actively look for shorties like myself

I actually didnt like it when he asked that, to me it is like i'm this crazy rare species in his household,
My boyfriend isnt overly tall - he's 5'10, but the female side of his family are pretty tall like 5-7, 5-8ish,
His mum is skinny and tall

Ah, so you will 'stand out' as it were, when with his family. Not excusing the endless tedious comments, but the difference may still be a novelty.