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Original poster

Boyfriend's mum and comments on my looks

73 replies

TinyTinyTinyTiny · 17/10/2019 12:25

Long story short:
Im 24, been with boyfriend for a few months. Every time i see my boyfriend's mum she comments on how tiny I am - I am tiny being 5'0 and 7 stone 4 but I dont need to be told 24/7.
It's like his family see it as my defining characteristic with his dad telling friends when they ask about me as boyfriend's new girlfriend that I'm the tiniest, petitiest person they would see Hmm
His teenage brother said I was really pretty but really short to my boyfriend behind my back (boyfriend told me they had an argument about it)
And it's getting me down. Yes i'm small but that's my body and something i cant change so I hate how every time I'm at their house I feel conscious about my height. My boyfriend doesnt make me feel bad about it and tells me his family love me but it's just nibbling at my esteem

OP posts:
managedmis · 17/10/2019 13:14

My boyfriend goes around the dinner table,
"How old does she look?"

^
Another Hmm at this

timetochangeagainforever · 17/10/2019 13:15

I'm same height and 7stone and yes it's very tiresome when people make a big deal out of it! I'm 48 now and it still happens a lot. Teeny tiny tinker bell used a lot. Luckily my daughter is taller and my son is 6ft and still growing. Try to take the comments compliments

booboo24 · 17/10/2019 13:48

Polly Pocket was used a few years ago, all in a nice humorous way, but my eyes were rolling believe me!!! Ir doesn't help that my 17 year old daughter is 5ft 7 already and her sister who is 11 is almost 5ft - their dad is 6ft 3!!!!!

ravenmum · 17/10/2019 13:54

I'm relatively tall and get fed up with people going on about me being tall, as it makes me feel like a massive great elephant. When other women go on about fitting into size 8 or 10 clothes and being fat if they wear a size 12, I feel extremely unfeminine: I just about fit a size 12, and I'm at the low end of the scale for my height at 8 stone. I have size 41 shoes and hate it when that's the biggest size they have in shops and the shoes in that size all look a weird shape, as they were designed three sizes smaller and just lengthened. I hate having to sit at the back of cinemas or stand at the back of concerts so as not to be the irritating person whose great massive head is in the way.

Just keep going on about how massive they all are and they might shut up.

ravenmum · 17/10/2019 13:55

I used to get called "the stork" or "Big BIrd" if you want some hilarious comebacks to the names they give you.

DarlingBuds19 · 17/10/2019 14:10

I actually didnt like it when he asked that

Originally I thought his family are twats but he seemed ok - after seeing that....

It's like he's inviting comments and making it an issue. He shouldn't have been doing that in the first place, but esp if he had any inkling of how you were feeling.

Ohyesiam · 17/10/2019 14:12

Personally I’d be asking him to start a “ no more personal remarks “ rule.But if he’s prepared to ask a table of people how old you look, he might not get it.

I had to stop my mum from constantly calling dd “ big” at 5’9”. My mum was flabbergasted,and asked what sh could call her. She went on to be Uber flabbergasted when I told her I had never once in 15 years needed to categorise her by size.
She actually went quiet for 10 minutes while she digested this revelation, and that’s a very rare event.

Original poster
TinyTinyTinyTiny · 17/10/2019 14:47

It's interesting seeing some of you who are tall have comments against you too, I envy taller women so it's interesting that no matter are size, there's always someone who has something to say!

I don't think my boyfriend gets that it can be upsetting, I think he thinks it's being funny and like i said, I dont mind him joking to me but when he jokes in a group, it can be intimidating.
Like yesterday, his family and I were all eating takeaway on the sofas but i prefer to eat at a table for balance so i sat on the floor by the coffee table and boyfriend thought it was appropriate to say infront of everyone "isn't she cute! She looks about 12 sitting there"Hmm, which started the conversation about his dad saying to family i was the tiniest person

OP posts:
ravenmum · 17/10/2019 15:00

Your bf sounds incredibly tiresome.

ravenmum · 17/10/2019 15:02

Is he not afraid that he might come across as a bit of a pervert?

DarlingBuds19 · 17/10/2019 15:14

Hmm this is going from "bf's family is a problem" to "bf is a problem".

(or "bf and family" are a problem).

Original poster
TinyTinyTinyTiny · 17/10/2019 15:16

Maybe it is all as a group is a problem, it's just getting me down

OP posts:
timetochangeagainforever · 17/10/2019 16:51

This is me at least once a week and it's even harder wearing heels

Boyfriend's mum and comments on my looks
KOKOtiltomorrow · 17/10/2019 17:01

OP I get that it’s wearing and you are right - certain characteristics that are considered enviable are the talk of the steamy - being tall, being petite etc. If you were obese they wouldn’t constantly remind you. Have you tried actually staying it upsets you? They may think they are being complimentary

doginthemanger · 17/10/2019 17:14

I'm tall, so I've had my share of comments.

In your case I'd be far more annoyed at my boyfriend than his family.

Underyoursky · 17/10/2019 17:34

I don’t think 5 foot is that short is it? I’ve got a family member in her 20s less than that height and I don’t think she gets such comments.

Sometimes people say things for something to say although the ‘guess how old she is’ and ‘she looks about 12’ comments are verging on creepy.

Original poster
TinyTinyTinyTiny · 17/10/2019 17:38

I've never had comments before i met his family,
I've had the odd comments about looking young and height jokes but nothing as constant or patronising as this

OP posts:
LoyaltyBonus · 17/10/2019 17:39

It's actually not that great being a tall woman, it can make you feel very big and clumsy, especially around very petite women. I think she means it as a compliment- you're the dainty feminine little thing that she's never been. You might not value those qualities but I don't think she's saying it to be unkind.

Underyoursky · 17/10/2019 17:40

Btw I get called tiny and I’m 5’ 4’’. Someone told me recently I looked like a teenager from the back. I’m 55 Confused.

CJSmith2019 · 17/10/2019 17:55

Like yesterday, his family and I were all eating takeaway on the sofas but i prefer to eat at a table for balance so i sat on the floor by the coffee table and boyfriend thought it was appropriate to say infront of everyone "isn't she cute! She looks about 12 sitting there"hmm, which started the conversation about his dad saying to family i was the tiniest person

That sounds quite creepy on your boyfriend's behalf, tbh.

Isaididont · 17/10/2019 17:58

Your bf sounds the worst of them, saying you look 12 and asking how old you look. It’s like he’s taking pride in your size as though it looks to others like he’s managed to attract an underage girl. Creepy.

LoyaltyBonus · 17/10/2019 18:02

Mum sounds like shes just trying to be nice/friendly even if she is misjudging it. Boyfriend sounds downright freaky.

funnylittlefloozie · 17/10/2019 18:03

Im glad some other posters have picked up on the creepiness here. He seems very hung up on just how "young" and little you look... thats creepy. Be honest, could you pass for under-age?

Original poster
TinyTinyTinyTiny · 17/10/2019 18:08

I'd say i could pass for 16-17 if you didnt know me. I dress maturely - heels, jeans, blouses - dyed blonde hair, usually curly - I don't have a flat chest,
But my boyfriend says I look about 20 and so do my friends;
I dont mean to make him sound weird here, He's really not!

OP posts:
AlkaSeltz · 17/10/2019 18:20

But my boyfriend says I look about 20 and so do my friends;

Amazing how many conversations you have with everyone you know about how old you look Confused