Everyone is probably tucked up in bed right now but this is another sleepless night for me. I think my partner of 15 years is having a midlife crisis. He seems to have changed over night from a good guy to a man I simply don't completely recognise. I have wrote another post on the ins and outs on how all this started but I just need some emotional support for whats happening right now. Hes been staying away from home on and off for weeks now. First he was telling me he was sofa surfing because he wasn't happy at home. He was staying with people he knew from work and he was feeling depressed about certain aspects of his life. When he did come home he looked a mess. He was thin, dirty looking and hadnt taken a change of clothes. This was devastating for me as we have a 4 year old together who he wasn't being present for. He would come home, change his clothes and go to work. He would say he was coming home then text at the last minute saying he wasn't. My son has been very upset about his dad not being around and ive had to try to pick up the pieces. One day he called and because of his behaviour i asked him if he was staying with a woman. He said he was. He said she understood him and he could be his self with her.... Yeah like a dagger to the throat. He said nothing had gone on between them and he was staying on her sofa but he wanted to be with her.... I honestly went into panic mode. My once beautiful family was being torn apart and it was agonising. He kept repeating this behaviour and i told him he has to be there for his child. He came home and we had a long long talk. He had a daughter way before he met me and for various reasons he walked away when she was less than a year old and never saw her again. Now she is a grown woman and he wants to make contact. I softened a little because I do love him so much and I said I'd support him if that's the choice he wants. It changed things in my mind. We slowly stated to talk and we ended up kissing and sleeping together on 2 occasions. He said he had missed me. We talked about what he was going to do next. He even mentioned himself that he would like to heal things to work towards marriage in the future. I thought that maybe this was how it was going to be. One day he just went to work and went silent. I knew what was coming, i knew he wasn't coming home again. Sadly my son got sick that day and i had to call an ambulance and obviously contact his dad. He met me at thr hospital but he felt so distant. I was upset and he didn't hug me or comfort me. Alarm bells. I said asked him if he was planning on coming back that day and eventually via text he admitted he wasnt. He said he has no connection to me and it dosnt feel right between us.... I felt stupid and also violated and this hurt me deeply. So the next day he got sent home from work. Our son was home and poorly but he didn't come home. He said he was walking around towns processing stuff... That pissed me off. His son was ill. In my heart i felt like he was killing time until she finished work but I was hoping it was paranoia. Sohe text saying im drunk and angry leave me alone and then it was radio silence until he said he was with a friend from college and was safe. I actually half believed him. The next morning.... Yesterday he called on the way to work and i calmly told him how fed up I was with it all and something has to be done for the sake of our child. He said he was coming to see him and asked if i needed anything picking up. He turned up at 5.30.i told his little boy he was coming home and he was so excited and was looking through the window waiting.... He came in... His son came running to him and he just seemed disinterested. Straightaway he said he had to go out because the mother of his long lost daughter had agreed to meet (just as he clicks his fingers after leaving her to bring up a baby on her own, shes married and has other kids) he went about changing his top doing his hair and all those things... His son was following him around like a lost puppy. He was taking about how excited and nervous he was and how he was dreading it. He hada weird smirk that kept going across his face. I said... Why do you keep smiling and he was likr im not ite nerves. He said he was going to come home and tell me what happens. He texted me all the way saying how he knew he was gonna be told home truths etc and was feeling bad but just wanted to know his daughter.... So fast-forward. He never came home. I text, no answer, i called, no answer. He completely lied about the whole situation which is terrible. I checked his mobile phone bill and i saw a number. He texts me then texts this number.... ALOT. I am so tempted to call this number not to start a war, just to know the truth because every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie. I thought if he came home today to see his son while he is here id slip away and call it. I just need to know what's happening so I can move forward. Is it the right thing to do?