Looking for some advice on how to handle this situation. There is a bit of backstory so I’ll be as brief as I can.
Me and DP are getting married in a few months. We have 2 DC together.
3 years ago he did the whole script scenario to me. Said he didn’t love me anymore, was leaving the family home to go back to his mums and that there was no one else. So after a few months of turmoil I found out there was someone else from work and confronted him. He broke down explaining to me that he hadn’t slept with her (he had been sleeping with me saying he was confused and doesn’t know if he could come back - I stupidly went along with it, hoping he would change his mind), and told me he was in love with her, said he didn’t want to hurt me after 8 years of being together but he didn’t mean for it to happen like this. It was someone he worked with. He had a group of close male friends at this place and they would all go clubbing and meet up with the women from the work place. Few of them were already couples.
Anyhow he eventually asked to come home, saying he missed me and the children. I agreed only if he promised to not go out with the work group and look for another job. He had been at this company 8 years, was senior and handed in his notice and found a new job. When he did this, he asked the director to tell no one, only the people necessary as he wanted no fuss (more like because he wanted no one to take the p*ss out of him because they all knew the situation at home and with OW).
Fast forward 3 years later, he hasn’t seen 2 of the guys since he left (he may have met them once, I can’t even remember). He hasn’t had Facebook for 3 years. He occasionally logs into messenger but since he had a new phone he hasn’t even bothered to install FB messenger (he uses WhatsApp). So he hasn’t been on it for months.
Today, I had to update FB messenger on my phone and log back in. On an iPhone it remembers login details, and his details were there (I had them saved from years ago when it all kicked off).
Curiosity got the better of me and I logged in to be nosey. There was a group chat with the 2 guys he used to go out with. Last time he spoke in it was July 2018 to say congrats to his friend having a baby. That was the last conversation between them all.
However, back in August there was this conversation that DH hasn’t read. Lets call DH Billy:
Friend 1: Billy, you still alive ?
Friend 2: Internet ban ?
Friend 1: If this was Adam asking (another old work friend), Billy would have responded by now
Friend 2: yeah, or Laura
Laura was the name of the OW from 3 years ago, the reason he left that place. Obviously everyone knew. That was the end of the conversation. He hasn’t seen any of this because he doesn’t use messenger. Seeing this today has bought it all to the surface again for me, how I felt when it happened, how much of an idiot I look to his work friends (who he doesn’t see, to avoid arguments). He meets up with 2 other guys (Adam) who he used to work with who wasn’t part of that group of friends, but have an idea of what went on. Adam and his other friend are invited to our wedding. Obviously no one from the other group of friends is because he doesn’t see them because of everything that went on.
So, do I keep this to myself ? I just want to sit here and cry. Please tell me what to do. He keeps asking me what is wrong.