In love with a fictional character - is this a thing??

[namechange122222]

I have name changed because I think this may sound ridiculous.

Basically I am middle-aged and divorced, with teenage dc. My ex is my only ever relationship, albeit a long one (about 22 years). Though there was a lot I liked about him at first, the second half of the marriage was bad and the divorce horrible. We are not on speaking terms at all.

I don’t think I will meet anyone else, and I think it’s about coming to terms with that for me.

My ex was emotionally abusive, and I also mourn the fact that I will never have a functional relationship in which I can be honest and in which there is no manipulation.

Anyway, I am plodding on - the dc are with me and they have various issues. I have cut off from a lot of feelings and feel quite cynical.

My question is - is it normal to want to BE a character from a TV show, or even just the actor who portrays them?

This summer I started watching Elementary - and in a few months have got through 7 series. To say I loved it is an understatement. I watched the last episode yesterday and have this overwhelming feeling that I need to either be Watson or if not, at least be Lucy Liu.

WTAF

Because - there is no one like Sherlock. And I need to be loved in the way that Sherlock loves Joan, but never will be. She is great also, they make a great pair. I loved how their friendship was portrayed.

I have no idea what Jonny Lee Miller is like, but his portrayal of Sherlock was great. I loved his intelligence, perception, restraint, the way he spoke, his kindness.

So not only do I want something that I can’t have, it also doesn’t exist because he is fictional.

WTAF again .

And the emotion between them in the last episode - you think you don’t want something any more but then you see it (portrayed) and realise that you don’t want to be emotionally dead. But there is no one that I am close to in that way.

I guess that’s what good acting does?

Oh, I've had literary crushes aplenty - they're the best sort, they never disappoint and they're always fun. My first one was Nicholas Nickleby. Twelve-year-old me was inwardly cheering him on and shouting 'Fight! Fight!' when he was knocking the crap out of Squeers. Shame most of Dickens' heroines are such drips.

Yup I do this quite a lot. I also sometimes imagine up a completely new chatacter in the movie/series for me to play. I can become quite obsessed, but just with the character the person is playing, not the actual actor, I couldn't care less what they are up to irl 😂

Write FanFiction OP. It's a great way to channel this. I do it all the time. There's a site for it www.fanfiction.net

OP I'm so pleased you posted this!

I'm in love with Joan Watson. I see love for fictional characters as part of life.

Elementary has been the most extraordinarily beautiful depiction of friendship.

I presume you know that they originally wrote the season 6 finale as the last ever episode so this was quite a challenge. I think they just about pulled it off.

Jonny Lee Miller is amazing. Two things I really remember....trying to avoid spoilers or should we alert MN to put it in title?

So, his response to the news in the 11th episode- his face aged in a second....and his response ages ago when Watson was kidnapped...presumably it's okay to say that as it was season 2.

I've just had a what I thought was good friend "leave" me, I think, so im doubly emotional thinking about that friendship. It's okay, I have other friends and she was a short termed but yes....

I also found the bond with Kitty very moving.

This is part of the basis of the entire Mary Sue genre of fan fiction (and just a lot of fan fic...). I’ve never had it quite as strongly as you portray as an adult, but definitely as a teenager and softer versions as an adult.

Snap @Ginger1982

Oh and from series 1

"The thing that's empirically different about me now, Watson, is you".

Yes it is a thing. Look at ‘Waifuism’ on Reddit. There is a whole community of people who are in love with fictional characters, to varying extents.

I write masses of fan fiction. It led to a published original novel (no, not 50 Shades).

I will always be a little bit in love with Alistair from Dragon Age.

Where did OP go? We need to talk about Elementary!

Hopefully she's not lost in fan fiction or I'll have no one to talk to about it. It seems very underrated in the UK.

Oh I've been in love with many lol

No I’m still here @AutumnRose and I totally agree with you on all your points! Though I don’t remember the empirical line.

I only discovered Elementary this year - and it’s been going since 2012. I loved and love the BBC Sherlock but have to say that I preferred Elementary.

I thought the script was fantastic.

Yes I know that series 6 was supposed to be the end, and series 7 does feel a bit cobbled together - I guess the actors held it together. Will post the link to a good article in a second.

Fantastic acting, also by the actor who plays Marcus - Jon Michael Hill, and of course Aidan Quinn.

What am I supposed to do now that I have watched all of it ?

Do you think that the last episode implies that Joan and Sherlock get together?

Actually two articles @AutumnRose1 and sorry I didn’t get your name right in the last post.

www.vulture.com/2019/08/elementary-lucy-liu-joan-watson-character-analysis.html?_gl=11n2fmqt_ga*YW1wLXdjcm1rQVd2OUdGeG9sYnM1YWtvWURqMy0zc1o5d1RFSUd5OWxKa2RDbGdYaUtGU1J4QzJKNGY1dkdRbU1qblg.

And

www.vulture.com/amp/2019/08/elementary-series-finale-their-last-bow.html

No I don't think for a minute they are a couple, not should they be

Going back to season 1, I think when Joan was waiting to check her addict friend into rehab, and he didn't show up, when Sherlock waited with her, the song playing was "The Long Haul" and we knew then that Sherlock, who didn't make friends, was making a friend.

Thank you for the articles, I must go to bed but I will read them properly tomorrow.

As for what you do now, watch it again! I've seen the first three seasons twice. I love Moriarty. "As if men had the monopoly on murder".

Oh, and the first time Vinnie Jones appears and all that entails....and Sherlock telling Joan "I think what you do is amazing".

JLM really made me feel the addict storylines, I have a wee bit of experience there. It's the writers of course, but when he described sobriety as like plugging a dripping tap all day, I really felt it.

PS just realised I have seen that Vulture article

It's interesting because I thought they'd kill off Sherlock and leave Joan out in the world as his natural successor, so to speak

I would have been okwith that, but if they had killed Joan I would not be okay! Tbh I could have done without her being ill, it felt unnecessary.

Oh I really am going to bed...but use of music in this show has been wonderful...Higher Love in the episode where Gregson proposes to Paige...and in previous scenes.

Going back to season 1, I think when Joan was waiting to check her addict friend into rehab, and he didn't show up, when Sherlock waited with her, the song playing was "The Long Haul" and we knew then that Sherlock, who didn't make friends, was making a friend.

I don’t remember that, or take note of the significance of the music the first time round - should definitely watch it all again .

In the meantime @AutumnRose1 - here is something for you from the Internet Jonny Lee Miller’s Instagram account

I'm glad you've had nice responses OP.
I also wonder if this is your mind's way of testing out the experience of falling in love again, in a safe way, before you are ready to have those feelings for a real life person.
Having said that I am in a similar boat to you and unlikely to ever have another real life relationship I think.

I'm in love with Tony soprano. I've no.idea why, he's not a nice man. I guess it's the power and the 'manliness'. I have dreams about him all the time. DP knows all about it. We finished the sopranos a few months ago and my feelings are starting to die down a bit thankfully.

Yep. I tend to obsess about relationships in things I’m watching.

Watching NCis la, it was kenos and deeks.

Currently making the mistake of the good wife and can’t stop thinking about Alicia and will. I watch snippets on you tube that other fans put together.

I’m binge watching at the moment to get it over wi TV and out of my system

I will always have a little thing for Ilya Kuryakin, the subject of a major crush when I was young.. there's loads of fan fiction, to top it up occasionally.
There is also Kai, the last of the Brunnen G, the tragic hero. Totally hooked on him. Not so much fan fiction about, as Lexx is quite niche, but I have written some. Finishing it is the issue for me....

Interesting point about the mind rehearsing the response, ChiaraRimini
A friend of mine had a strange mind set a few years ago, when she felt as though she was in love, but there was no one in her life at the time. Shortly afterwards, she had an unexpected whirlwind passionate romance out of the blue. It was like a premonition.

thank you for the articles OP

Re Joan being wasted in the last season - they kind of all were because of what they had to work with, and when they thought they had finished, I think they did a fantastic job. I think linking up Joan's wardrobe is a bit nuts, I can imagine they just thought that they would pick a range as it was the last season.

Fascinating to learn that the first episode Lucy Liu directed was "Paint it Black". That's probably one of the best episodes ever!

definitely take note of the music, it's all beautifully done.

did you want them to get together? I would have been horrified by that!

excellent blog about the platonic love here

www.primetimer.com/features/elementary-is-the-best-portrayal-of-platonic-friendship-on-tv

I've always fell hard for fictional characters. It's the escapism I think for me.

Except I can't for the life of me figure out why I am attracted to an Android from the game Become Human (PS4 game)

re the Good Wife, what they turned Alicia into was an absolute betrayal of the fans IMHO.

my brain is looking for a new best friend. Not to be harsh, but my usual best friend (!) works abroad a lot and I see her less often. Her career is soaring. I do actually think she might move to the US for a while. The two next closest people after that are in the same position.

This is a brilliant depiction of the kind of ...daily platonic love. I always dreamed of having a best mate next door but if I had the brownstone, I guess I could share the space

People might criticize this sort of thing - but no fictional character has ever trashed my house or taken money from me or been physically abusive. I think it's quite a healthy relationship, comparatively .....