In love with a fictional character - is this a thing??

[namechange122222]

I have name changed because I think this may sound ridiculous.

Basically I am middle-aged and divorced, with teenage dc. My ex is my only ever relationship, albeit a long one (about 22 years). Though there was a lot I liked about him at first, the second half of the marriage was bad and the divorce horrible. We are not on speaking terms at all.

I don’t think I will meet anyone else, and I think it’s about coming to terms with that for me.

My ex was emotionally abusive, and I also mourn the fact that I will never have a functional relationship in which I can be honest and in which there is no manipulation.

Anyway, I am plodding on - the dc are with me and they have various issues. I have cut off from a lot of feelings and feel quite cynical.

My question is - is it normal to want to BE a character from a TV show, or even just the actor who portrays them?

This summer I started watching Elementary - and in a few months have got through 7 series. To say I loved it is an understatement. I watched the last episode yesterday and have this overwhelming feeling that I need to either be Watson or if not, at least be Lucy Liu.

WTAF

Because - there is no one like Sherlock. And I need to be loved in the way that Sherlock loves Joan, but never will be. She is great also, they make a great pair. I loved how their friendship was portrayed.

I have no idea what Jonny Lee Miller is like, but his portrayal of Sherlock was great. I loved his intelligence, perception, restraint, the way he spoke, his kindness.

So not only do I want something that I can’t have, it also doesn’t exist because he is fictional.

WTAF again .

And the emotion between them in the last episode - you think you don’t want something any more but then you see it (portrayed) and realise that you don’t want to be emotionally dead. But there is no one that I am close to in that way.

I guess that’s what good acting does?

@Pinkbonbon thanks for alerting me that there is another hot Magnus Bane (though maybe not quite as hot as in the film version...) 😄

Film one was hot too, tbf. But Harry Schum won me over in the drama adaptation. Happy binging! xD

My first real love was for Gilbert Blythe. Not a bad first love as he was unable to break my heart. Plus the good parts that he had, I value even in my non fictional husband now!

The first love of my life was Captain Scarlet!

I have so many crushes like this. They are the best because it is the high of fancying someone without the potential rejection.

A selection: Gilbert Blythe, Jamie Frazer, Tommy Shelby, Usain Bolt (ok, he's not fictional but for all the chances of me meeting and getting it on with him, he may as well be), several Georgette Heyer characters, Tyrion Lannister in the first seasons.

Does anyone know what happened to Clyde in Elementary?

I loved Faramir from Lord of the Rings, though I also had a thing for Eowyn too. I also fell for Tristan from Stardust. I think that is the beauty of a good book or series, you develop a relationship with the characters and sometimes they teach you something about yourself that you didn't know before.

@NigesFakeWalkingStick Except I can't for the life of me figure out why I am attracted to an Android from the game Become Human (PS4 game)

Which one?

I was rather fond of Connor.

You're not alone, OP. I've been doing this since I was a kid and I still have a huge thing for Harold Ramis (Egon in Ghostbusters). See also Rik Mayall. And animated cartoon characters too. I think it fulfils a human need to engage with others in a safer way than in real life. Because of that it's easier to invest, and it ends up feeling incredibly intense. I loved Sherlock, I struggle to rewatch things but I have rewatched that. Never seen Elemental. Do I need to get my TV license back?? :D

I have a bit of a thing for the Dr. and really want to be River Song. I just split with my boyfriend this morning so I think I’ll be spending the next few evenings with my on-screen crush instead!

Milkstick Elementary has never been on regular TV, that I know of.

I bought the first seasons on DVD and then eventually got Now TV. It currently says there's only 27 days left to watch all 7 seasons on Now TV but they will probably change that.

I tried Blacklist and the first episode didn't appeal. I'm thinking I will switch to Netflix and watch the Mentalist.

I am still in love with Ziggy Stardust. I often regret my age because I missed out on being 14 and falling for his appearance on Top of the Pops, it would have been the most fabulous real life crush.

oh and I am going to start watching Elementary tonight! Can't wait now, having seen what you all say about it

This is something I've worried about from time to time. Because specially since I stopped having any kind of like (physical health restrictions etc), I get very easy pulled into what I'm reading (and some of what I'm watching).

I've always found it easier and more sense-making to live inside fiction.

Ahh, dissociation and absorption...