Would this bother you?

[est1988]

Recently started seeing new guy. It's early days but he's very nice, seems keen etc.

We had sex for the first time last week but he has been having some issues with performance. Last night he admitted that he hasn't had sex since last year and that's he's now super nervous.

We are 31 and 34, no kids, both live alone and work in big cities. I don't have one night stands but have had plenty of sex in the last year or so.

Would this bother you? It's bothered me but I can't put my finger on why!

Sorry that he hasn't had sex for over a year! The performance issues don't really bother me.

In a long term relationship no it wouldn't bother me but as a recent thing yes cause it's all after fun and getting to know each other. Also I would wonder secretly if it was me

Ah our messages must have crossed. No it wouldn't bother me if he hadn't had sex in over a year .... think I'd prefer that

Why on earth would it bother you?

It would make me wonder if we were sexually mismatched.

Why would that bother you? That’s very strange. At least he didn’t have sex the day/week before you. I honestly can’t see why this would bother someone. This might shock you but I haven’t had sex in 3 years and I’m only 30! Didn’t imagine it would bother any one I met though

Why would it bother you?

When I was single I’d go long stretches because casual sex sucks!

Well I guess it would bother me to go that long without sex that's all.

He’s just not into casual sex and that’s fine

It would bother me to go that long without sex, but it wouldn’t bother me if someone else had.

However, combined with the fact he’s having issues I’d be thinking maybe something wasn’t quite right

You sound a bit strange

I don’t see what the problem is.

I guess it could mean that your sex drives aren’t compatible. But then again maybe he only enjoys sex once he is really comfortable with someone and you will be fine once you get over this early awkwardness. I would try and forgot about it and see how it develops.

Id be relieved he wasnt a player. He doesnt have sex for sex sake. He wants you.

I think he is truly very nervous as he's made it clear he's pretty into me, I'm very confident in bed which might not be helping.

Perhaps he goes for quality not quantity 🤔

So he doesn't engage in casual sex. I would be pleased about that rather than bothered. It's only a year for heaven's sake. It's not like he told you he was a virgin.