Jaw droppingly awful dates with people of a mature age who you thought would have learnt by now....

[Carrotcakeyum]

..the sort you reel from at the time but once you have picked yourself up off the floor, make for a future, hilarious tale to share..

Met a guy in an unusual situation (at an auction).When the auction ended he asked me if I fancied a walk around town (central London). After 2 hours walking up and down the streets of London, I suggested we stop for a coffee/drink but he declined as he'd "just had one" 🙄. Prior to that, within 45 minutes of meeting he wanted to come back to my house 😂. In the space of the next two hours traipsing around the streets, he suggested coming back to my home at least three more times 😁
We met for a "date" a couple of Saturday's later. I know...I know..but I haven't bothered dating for a while and thought I should make an effort to "get out there!" He told me to meet in town at 4 o'clock and he would invite me to a club he belonged to. The club turned out to be a bank hub where, if you were with that bank, you could use as a work hub and you had free tea and coffee! We sat there chatting from 4 o'clock until it closed at 6 o'clock. He drank 4 free coffees and I had one although he generously kept offering to top me up as it was free 😂
We then traipsed around the streets of London for another two hours. When I said I needed something to eat, lo and behold he had "just eaten" 😁. I had come straight from work and was starving..He didn't understand why I should be hungry as I'd had a free, digestive biscuit at the bank hub (sorry - forgot to mention that important detail).
In the meantime he continually invited himself back to mine - I lost count after the 6th time he suggested it 😁. He kept fumbling for my hand (stuck firmly in my pocket), put his arm around me (I nearly fell over the barrier and into the River Thames as I had to keep edging away from him). Along with continually inviting himself back to mine, he thought we'd make a great long term couple and how soon could he move in with me!
After 2 more hours traipsing up and down the (not paved with gold) streets of London, with my rumbling stomach now roaring, I suggested again we go to eat. I spotted a Zizzi and suggested we go there. Perhaps..
But no, he was not hungry as he "had just eaten" (8 o'clock by now and he had left his home at 3 o'clock to meet me at 4 o'clock)..and anyway he was "so looking forward to coming back to mine to watch tv". "So you are saying you want to come back to my house, having had a coffee and a two hour walk around London?" I asked him. When he agreed this was a perfect plan, I told him to wait a minute while I made a quick call. We walked back together to the station with him all excited... until at the barrier I informed him that I was now going to meet up with friends in Camden Town for dinner...and bye bye.
The look of utter shock on his face was one I will remember for a long time.
Joking aside, he was in his late 40s. What is it that these guys have learnt nothing about how to behave?!
Please share some stories. I can't be the only one..can I??

My Christ, that’s one cheeky fucker!!!

Was he homeless?

Joking (mostly).

I haven't been on one recently but I went on a date years ago with a chap who kept trying to go into pubs for drinks; no matter what I planned or suggested (walk, going to see something, whatever) he just kept trying to stop in various pubs en route to drink. He mentioned that he "drank a lot at the weekend); he actually had a very good job .. but the alco warning siren was going off in my head (esp.having just ended a relationship mostly over alcohol use).

Why did you agree to the date?

Should have left the weirdo with a fork ‘NO’ when he tried to invite himself to yours after the auction.

Firm not fork

Might I add that it wasnt just stopping for a drink (which I wouldn't have minded), it was clear he just wanted to hunker in and get drunk.

Incidentally he also said his passenger car door was broken so if we went anywhere in his car id have to get in the back and be "chauffeured". I thought this was downright weird sounding and didn't take a life anywhere with him.

*lift

All of that begs the question- why on earth did you stay with him so long? you could’ve left at any point. Or told him “well ^I’m starving so I’m going to X to eat- you’re welcome to join me” instead you just let him decide you weren’t eating!! What’s wrong with you?

Once met up with a guy, he drove, i got public transport. We met in a place with a big pond, benches, loads of pubs / cafes / coffee shops.
It was pouring of rain, i suggested we go for a coffee, he said he wanted to sit on the bench, he did, and then he couldnt understand why i didnt want to sit down (on a wet bench, in the rain)

So suggested if he didnt want to go for a coffee, how about sitting in his car, still nope, wanted to stay by the lake.
When i said i was going, he couldnt make out why 🤐

October are you sure he drove? If I was to guess I’d say he was skint (so couldn’t go for coffee) and didnt actually have a car.

Too mean to cover the basics on a date does not bode well for any further relationships. You are SUPPOSED to be making a good impression?

It’s good they are so shit from the off though. Saves you wasting any time on 3rd and 4th dates before finding out they’re plonkers.

Met a guy at a family party. Very suave, and gorgeous. Chatted all evening. Asked me out on a date, and could we meet at ‘x cafe’ in town, near his work. It was a bit inconvenient with public transport from my place, but Sure!

When I got there, he raced in 10 minutes late. Peck on the cheek, and excitedly asked me to come further into the shopping centre. Turns out he was still rostered on to work (in an upmarket men’s clothes shop) for another 2.5 hours. He thought I’d like to sit outside the shop and ‘see how it’s done’. Not a last minute change to his roster- he’d known it when he asked me out a week earlier.

I told him it was a real shame that his good looks were going to end up in an evolutionary dead-end. Don’t think he understood. I’m ok with that.

Yep, at least they are kind enough to save you a job in sifting the wheat from the chaff as it where.

No need to give OP a hard time!

I was “dating” using Plenty of Fish (does it even exist still?!) and I started chatting to a guy. We arranged to meet in the city where I lived, I was very central so close to where we were meeting. He said “so we’ll meet at XX at 12 for coffee” and I agreed and then he said “and then we’ll go back to yours and have sex” and I even checked to see if he was joking to give him a get out but he wasn’t. Needless to say I didn’t meet him. Met DH on match.com a couple of months later though.

I went on a date once said we’d meet in town and then go for a coffee
He rocked up 15 mins late,took me to maccys bought me a cuppa and sat telling me how he was ‘gonna come into some money soon’
Turns out his flat was a cannabis farm
He then tried to tell me I ‘owed’ him a shag as he’d paid for my cuppa!
Oh and he wanted to come back to mine to meet my daughter so ‘she could meet her new stepfather’

I threw him a quid for my drink and ran for the fucking hills!

JoxerGoesToStuttgart

I saw him get out his car...

I suggested his car, because i thought he may not have any money for a coffee...

But nope....

his car must have been dirty!

I'm friends with someone from the dating thread and it turned out that I was chatting to a man she had dated the previous year. She didn't inspire me with much confidence but I thought I'd see for myself. We met at a riverside café. He arrived with a blob of suncream under his nose (reminded me of the film "There's Something About Mary"). When I eventually got him to wipe it off, we went for coffee. Despite being 2 minutes from the car park, he had left his wallet in the car and showed no sign of going to get it. Muggins bought him a cup of tea for £1.50. Before drinking it, he got me to look away while he removed his Invisaligns (braces) and wrapped them carefully in a napkin before necking his tea. Then he popped them back in... 😂 We chatted, by which time I'd decided I was most definitely not seeing him again. He must've decided that I was to be "The One" as he suddenly announced that he had shaved 6 years off his age on Plenty of Fish - so actually 9 years older than me not the 3 I was expecting. At this point I said, "No way. You lied about your age. You've lost me." He then practically begged me to reconsider as he was "really fit for my age"! We went back to the car park where he then insisted on showing me his tennis rackets... 😂 I left, eventually! On exchanging stories with my friend, we discovered that he had also left his wallet in the car on THEIR date...🙄

Omg I’m laughing out loud as I have been there and done that more than a couple of times but not anymore.lol

JoxerGoesToStuttgart

I thought that :)

What's your definition of a mature age OP?

I'm mid 30s... and worst one for me was meeting a guy in my local for a quick drink after work. He turned up half cut... insulted me about what I was wearing and then tried to get me to feel his muscles

I lasted 40mins then made my excuses and left.

He messaged me the next day and said he thought I was a lovely lady and when could we meet again hahahaha

Have seen him on POF since and he must have told me a shit load of lies as his profile is that of a different person...

I remember this guy I met inviting me for dinner in Southend, ( 30 mins each way, he was driving).
Now I have no problem with splitting the bill or even paying for the meal if I invite somebody but when he asked me for petrol money when he stopped at the garage half way there I was speechless and just handed him ten pounds.

Few years back a close colleague of mine wanted to set me up with her friend (who I had never met) as she assured me she was single ‘and lovely’. I didn’t really do blind dates typically but thought what the hell, and we arranged to meet for a few drinks in a bar.

The girl came in and she was exactly as described, same age as myself and seemed nice. Made my introductions, got us drinks and sat down. And then . . . . . . . . . . silence.

Now I don’t pretend to be the worlds best conversationalist but I generally don’t have a problem chatting casually with people, even ones I’ve never met before. And I know some people are more quiet than others but this was on another level and incredibly hard work. I tried to initiate a few different topics and got mostly one word answers, and on occasion no answer at all. The bar wasn’t remotely noisy so it wasn’t hard to talk, but she never once spoke unless replying to me. I persevered for almost two hours by which point I gave up, assumed she just wasn’t into me and didn’t feel like talking. Said our goodbyes and went on my way without trying to schedule another date or anything.

Went into work the next morning and my colleague came bounding over. Before I could say anything she started excitedly telling me how she’d rung her friend late the previous night to see how things had went, and she thought the date had been brilliant, we had really ‘clicked’, conversation had ‘flowed’ and she was hoping I was going to ask her on a second date.

I was a bit speechless and seriously considered the notion that like something out of a film, me and her had somehow got mixed up with another couple on a blind date. But no, it was definitely the same girl.

I felt a bit guilty then but my colleague had put me on the spot and I had to tell her I just didn’t see it going anywhere so there wouldn’t be another date.

We went back to the car park where he then insisted on showing me his tennis rackets.

😂😂😂

Screaming at this!

I hope you didn’t lean too far into the boot of his car to see them?