Jaw droppingly awful dates with people of a mature age who you thought would have learnt by now....

[Carrotcakeyum]

..the sort you reel from at the time but once you have picked yourself up off the floor, make for a future, hilarious tale to share..

Met a guy in an unusual situation (at an auction).When the auction ended he asked me if I fancied a walk around town (central London). After 2 hours walking up and down the streets of London, I suggested we stop for a coffee/drink but he declined as he'd "just had one" 🙄. Prior to that, within 45 minutes of meeting he wanted to come back to my house 😂. In the space of the next two hours traipsing around the streets, he suggested coming back to my home at least three more times 😁
We met for a "date" a couple of Saturday's later. I know...I know..but I haven't bothered dating for a while and thought I should make an effort to "get out there!" He told me to meet in town at 4 o'clock and he would invite me to a club he belonged to. The club turned out to be a bank hub where, if you were with that bank, you could use as a work hub and you had free tea and coffee! We sat there chatting from 4 o'clock until it closed at 6 o'clock. He drank 4 free coffees and I had one although he generously kept offering to top me up as it was free 😂
We then traipsed around the streets of London for another two hours. When I said I needed something to eat, lo and behold he had "just eaten" 😁. I had come straight from work and was starving..He didn't understand why I should be hungry as I'd had a free, digestive biscuit at the bank hub (sorry - forgot to mention that important detail).
In the meantime he continually invited himself back to mine - I lost count after the 6th time he suggested it 😁. He kept fumbling for my hand (stuck firmly in my pocket), put his arm around me (I nearly fell over the barrier and into the River Thames as I had to keep edging away from him). Along with continually inviting himself back to mine, he thought we'd make a great long term couple and how soon could he move in with me!
After 2 more hours traipsing up and down the (not paved with gold) streets of London, with my rumbling stomach now roaring, I suggested again we go to eat. I spotted a Zizzi and suggested we go there. Perhaps..
But no, he was not hungry as he "had just eaten" (8 o'clock by now and he had left his home at 3 o'clock to meet me at 4 o'clock)..and anyway he was "so looking forward to coming back to mine to watch tv". "So you are saying you want to come back to my house, having had a coffee and a two hour walk around London?" I asked him. When he agreed this was a perfect plan, I told him to wait a minute while I made a quick call. We walked back together to the station with him all excited... until at the barrier I informed him that I was now going to meet up with friends in Camden Town for dinner...and bye bye.
The look of utter shock on his face was one I will remember for a long time.
Joking aside, he was in his late 40s. What is it that these guys have learnt nothing about how to behave?!
Please share some stories. I can't be the only one..can I??

Dear god some of these are horrifying

Never got as far as a date. Matched on tinder, he was 50's very polite and respectful in chats. Date was planned so we had a phone call some days before and he told me how to make turmeric tea but followed it up with "but on our date I'll give you my hot milky to drink" 🤮

Phew.. thanks for your reassurance that I am not alone. Some of these stories are shockingly funny (lived the one about the game of football having deep subliminal messages
To those who said I should have left sooner/given it to him straight, you are 100% correct. -Maybe the title of this thread should be for me, not him-
I need to find my inner bitch and stop being so bloody polite -though seeing the expression on his face as I left him at the barrier was almost worth it-

Strike outs didn't work in post above

@Pukkaorange Oh YUCK! And I bet he thought he was so funny

Wow – I have sooooo many.

One very ‘tactile’ man who put his hand down my leggings. No 3rd date for him. This was on the 2nd date. And he left to get the train. Left me in a pub on my own to wait for my cab. Fine for me to be honest, I’ll talk to anyone. Spoke in Shakespearian via message. All very odd.

Another who was banging on about his cars, who allowed me to buy the first drink. Gave him a 2nd chance. Went for dinner. Split the bill (not happy about that but that’s just me) and even the waitress was a bit embarrassed. When she split it so he paid say….£36.70 and mine was a round £35 was totally miffed by this. I wouldn’t mind but I had a veggie pasta dish and he had the ‘special’ veal!!!! Tight arse. He also took me to get some “wonderful English champagne!” Well it wasn’t that great at £20 a glass!! Then when the bill came buggered off to the loo so I paid it. And this guy was loaded. I can see why now. He never made it past a 2nd date.

Another – blimey, I can really pick ‘em. Saw him, thought he looked a bit older. Well yes, because all his pics were at least 7 years old because ‘he didn’t really get his pic taken much’. Hellooo….. I know we are basically 50’s but do you have friends or can you take a selfie?
After a few drinks he decided to give me the low-down on ‘me’. I’m a spoiled princess. He doesn’t like the way everyone looks at me. I live a privileged life. I have loads of money…… and so on…. Literally NONE of this is true. No money, single parent, ExH buggered off to another country and left me to do everything with no financial support at all. Fuckwit!

I have had some decent dates – honest!!!

But these any many more are the reasons I will be staying single!!!!!

I’ve had some terrible dates. One who provided closed mouth photos and when we met he tried to turn his head away when he spoke or covered his mouth with his hand. His teeth were atrocious and he obviously knew, poor bloke. I don’t know how long he thought he could hide it? Another who turned up and was five stone heavier than his photos then confessed he wanted to lick my bum. Another who pretended to have multiple personalities and angrily asked me if I’d been kissing “him” (his other personality). Oh and there was one who stopped his car outside a house and popped in to pick something up, then returned with a five year old and said “this is my daughter” - having not previously mentioned her existence!

That’s before you even consider the guy who told me on our third date that he was actually engaged but wanted some fun on the side, the guy who turned out to live with a girlfriend he hadn’t mentioned, and the guy who didn’t tell me he was married until I popped back to his house after a couple of dates and saw all the letters with her name on them!

They all pale in comparison to the stalker who kissed me in a pub when drunk, then tracked me down and lied to get my parents to let him into my house. I came downstairs in my pyjamas and he was sat on the sofa having coffee with my Dad, and I was like “I don’t know you?” 😂

hellsbellsmelons
I have a hidden profile on a dating site, and have been browsing profiles. I can well imagine what some of the dates would be like from some of the dreadful, entitled profiles the men write! and some of the photos.....yes in my age range 50/60s I'm not expecting a great deal in the looks department, but these pics show they can't be bothered to look attractive at all. Selfies with views up nostrils, looking surly, background an unkempt sitting room or bedroom, no thought or care at all in presentation.

Yeah being single is preferable - plus it's getting into the cold weather now and cba to go out of an evening on the off chance

@Carrotcakeyum you did get in touch with your inner bitch - that was her, watching his face as you pissed off never to see him again!!! Now you've found her, you'll find she is more easy to locate again should she be needed!

Another full on cringe moment for me was a dinner date that went on to a very lovely hotel bar afterwards. There was a small jazz trio playing in the bar and despite the fact that no one else was dancing my date insisted on proper ball room dancing with me, with every other fucker watching in bemusement. I knew I shouldn't even have gone to the bar with him and knew that this was the universe's way of reminding me to trust my gut and not go to bar with wankers who have no humiliation filter!

Feeling very lucky to have met my lovely husband online, however not before a series of pretty horrendous dates! Loving this thread, some very funny stories. Would never do OLD again if I became single, I have to be honest!

@MargoLovebutter Thank you for your kind words. I am indeed guilty of allowing too much rope but then it can take one more thing and - bingo - I see the light big time and immediately pull the switch. I was so pissed off with his ignorance and entitlement, that I got great pleasure from letting him believe he'd worn me down and I had relented to him coming back to mine (probably never to leave again ), before calmly leaving him open mouthed at the tube!!
Your story was very funny! I can just imagine how mortified you felt

Went on one date with a man who was pretty dull, but nothing too horrendous - until he told me he was married and his wife had had a stroke, so he didn't love her any more because she couldn't do anything for herself, and the divorce would come through soon. Apparently she was being a bitch about it and taking him to the cleaners.

He thought I was joking when I said 'good'.

The stand-out one for me was the guy who told me he was 6ft, and then when he got out of his (small) saloon car he couldn't actually see over the top of it. He was 5 ft 6 max - why lie?! He then spent the entire date banging on about his ex wife and what a bitch she was. Seeya later loser!

I went out with one guy a few years ago for a few drinks. We both bought a few. Second date met at a pizza place and I bought a bottle of wine BYO. He made it clear he just wanted to share a pizza and was kind of saying we can get another one if we need more. Well without asking he ate the last piece. Then I was asking should we get another one? And he was saying I’m ok I’m not hungry. It was really uncomfortable. And it was just so rude he took the last piece without offering it to me. He asked if I wanted to go back to his house and for some crazy reason I did, just because it was about 7:45 on a Saturday night and I felt like I should be doing something. But I was incredibly pissed off the whole time and left soon after. What a tight ass. And he had a well paying job too. I understand how you felt in your situation OP because sometimes we just go along with things for reasons unknown. Luckily now I have much higher standards and lower patience and won’t put up with that sort of thing in the future.

This wasn't a mature fella who should know better but one in my youth.
My two beautiful friends were dating two popular good looking fellas. My friends and I were on a night out when their two boyfriends showed up but no, it's okay, they brought along a friend for me. A wee hobbit of a man who barely went up to my chest (which is where his eyes never strayed from anyway)

At some point while me and the girls were throwing some shapes on the dance floor, he bought me a drink. I politely took it but didn't drink it because I already had one in my other hand. My friend quickly grabbed it with a "Cheers babe! You're a doll!" And promptly downed it.
Hobbit man wasn't best pleased. I found out later why. He'd spiked it and my friend had inadvertently taken the spiking for me. She was a wreck but luckily I was in good enough shape to get her home. The plan must have been for my friends to go home with their boyfriends and the hobbit was to get me home.

Well without asking he ate the last piece.

I'm either missing something or this one isn't bad? Yeah not great general manners but hardly on a par with the terrible date theme of the thread!

That is shocking damon I'd have reported him to the police

@SilverChime dear god. You've had some shockers.
But some made me proper LOL!
What is wrong with these 'men'?
It never ceases to amaze me.

DontLettuceBrexitLettuceRomain

Showing meanness on a date (especially early, best behaviour dates) IS bad. Bad manners on a date, bad.

@DontLettuceBrexitLettuceRomain Yes maybe not quite as bad as some of the other stories but to me it was incredibly rude. If I’d been out with anyone else friends/family we’d always acknowledge it’s the last piece and offer it to the other and if anyone is still hungry get more food. It just seemed like we both knew he was being cheap and the whole thing felt very insulting to me

Went on a date recently with someone I'd gotten really well with online (over the course of two days anyway) - lots of back and forth, similar interests.

We met at a cafe and he was lovely looking, had dressed smartly, I was thinking yesss!

He literally spent 3/4 hours talking non stop about himself. I genuinely mean it - I couldn't get a word in edgeway - anytime I went to talk he literally cut me off mid word and turned it round to him. I've had some self indulgent dates in my time, and met plenty of people who talk about themselves, but this was unreal.

After a short walk I told him I was going home for food and he tried to convince me to eat out. I just couldn't. He was so attractive and it could have just been nerves but it was so one sided.

He text me when he got home and said how much he'd enjoyed it and how nice he thought I was. I had to let him down gently. He did show some self awareness and I said I'd be willing to give it another date with two sided conversation but I think the shame scared him off

@nmc99 we were young and were just worried about getting our extremely drunk friend home. It wasn't until the following day we realised that she had barely drunk anything and spiking was probably the reason she was so out of it.

As an adult now I can see that not reporting it is stupid and we allowed a potential rapist to get away but back in those days it was just a close shave we'd got away with. Sadly it wasn't the first or last either. It's terrifying when we look back at behaviour of men (and boys) years ago (and now) where groping, grabbing and yes once even trying to drag my friend into a car she was really fucking unlucky! off the street were just experiences we got past. I hope my own daughter is better aware and more willing to kick bollocks.

Loving these stories, particularly the OP's!

Worst date
.chatted online for a while
Got in ok...date was at cinema..I had a card so brought his ticket..He was 30 minutes late.. no offer of drinks / popcorn.. We found our seats .He put his coat over chair next to him..moaned when someone sat there ...Got his phone out half way through film...At end of film said i suppose i better buy you a drink..He went to the loo...i legged it to carpark. He rang my phone for 10 minutes asking where i was .. He then texted and asked had i stood him up.. i texted yes .. lucky escape

Date 2 ..chatting online for a while.. bloke mentioned he had a daughter he didn't see ..I thought horrible ex.. On date he spoke about daughter .. i asked how old He said i think xx .i said oh its a shame you dont see her.He replied bearing in mind we had 2 alcoholic drinks by this time .She is in care as as my wife drunk .We both drunk but my wife worse and school had reported them . He only got once a year so more to it.. Admitted he chose drink over daughter. I left there and then...

My worst date ever was with a guy on leave from the army. I had met him through mutual friends in the local pub. We arranged to meet for a drink early evening. When I turned up he was absolutely paralytic. I mean swaying, slurring, crying, nodding off. When I finally managed to get some sense out of him, he said his sister was having a party, it was only round the corner and we should go. Turned out to be what should have been a 30 minite walk (2 hours becaise he was so pissed) across a muddy field, in pitch black in the freezing cold.Finally got to his sisters (who I had never met before), he collapsed on the sofa and went to sleep.

Reader, I did not marry him