Jaw droppingly awful dates with people of a mature age who you thought would have learnt by now....

[Carrotcakeyum]

..the sort you reel from at the time but once you have picked yourself up off the floor, make for a future, hilarious tale to share..

Met a guy in an unusual situation (at an auction).When the auction ended he asked me if I fancied a walk around town (central London). After 2 hours walking up and down the streets of London, I suggested we stop for a coffee/drink but he declined as he'd "just had one" 🙄. Prior to that, within 45 minutes of meeting he wanted to come back to my house 😂. In the space of the next two hours traipsing around the streets, he suggested coming back to my home at least three more times 😁
We met for a "date" a couple of Saturday's later. I know...I know..but I haven't bothered dating for a while and thought I should make an effort to "get out there!" He told me to meet in town at 4 o'clock and he would invite me to a club he belonged to. The club turned out to be a bank hub where, if you were with that bank, you could use as a work hub and you had free tea and coffee! We sat there chatting from 4 o'clock until it closed at 6 o'clock. He drank 4 free coffees and I had one although he generously kept offering to top me up as it was free 😂
We then traipsed around the streets of London for another two hours. When I said I needed something to eat, lo and behold he had "just eaten" 😁. I had come straight from work and was starving..He didn't understand why I should be hungry as I'd had a free, digestive biscuit at the bank hub (sorry - forgot to mention that important detail).
In the meantime he continually invited himself back to mine - I lost count after the 6th time he suggested it 😁. He kept fumbling for my hand (stuck firmly in my pocket), put his arm around me (I nearly fell over the barrier and into the River Thames as I had to keep edging away from him). Along with continually inviting himself back to mine, he thought we'd make a great long term couple and how soon could he move in with me!
After 2 more hours traipsing up and down the (not paved with gold) streets of London, with my rumbling stomach now roaring, I suggested again we go to eat. I spotted a Zizzi and suggested we go there. Perhaps..
But no, he was not hungry as he "had just eaten" (8 o'clock by now and he had left his home at 3 o'clock to meet me at 4 o'clock)..and anyway he was "so looking forward to coming back to mine to watch tv". "So you are saying you want to come back to my house, having had a coffee and a two hour walk around London?" I asked him. When he agreed this was a perfect plan, I told him to wait a minute while I made a quick call. We walked back together to the station with him all excited... until at the barrier I informed him that I was now going to meet up with friends in Camden Town for dinner...and bye bye.
The look of utter shock on his face was one I will remember for a long time.
Joking aside, he was in his late 40s. What is it that these guys have learnt nothing about how to behave?!
Please share some stories. I can't be the only one..can I??

Oh my ! so many stories of yours make me shiver when I think what narrow escapes you've all had - so glad everyone's safe!
Have reminded me of a few narrrrow escapes of my own - in no particular order:

Arranged to meet blind date in a local pub - in walks a bloke dressed head to toe in full on cowboy gear. Not only was he wearing the gear, he walked like he'd just got off his hoss, and talked like the oldest swinger in town.
He.Was.My.Date!

Perhaps not a date but a first encounter. In a bar with my mates on a night out. A random girl literally throws herself on the floor in front of me. Says she was pushed but she's obviously very drunk. I pick her up. She says I should buy her a drink. So I do. She jabbers on that; she's drunk, she broke her shoe, what's my name? (Brian), she's drunk, she's forgotten my name, she broke her shoe, Brian is a name for old people, she's drunk....etc. I don't get a word in edgeways. Then she annouces she likes me and demands my phone number. I escape with my mates (life).
I then spot her on the tube a few days later but she's clearly not sure I'm the same person so she takes one look at me and literally legs it off the train and runs away without saying a word
Obviously I'm not calling her so she starts texting me a few days later wanting to know why the hell I haven't called her and when are we going out?? Anyway I give up and agree to a date. God knows why the woman is a lunatic.

This is my DH story and we are now 15 years on and happily married. I'm still probably the most exasperating thing in his life. I think he secretly likes it.

@Stuckandsad

When he dropped me home he gave me a brand new dvd of the big lebowski, for reasons entirely unknown.

This made me snort and for some reason sums up all my dating disasters. Nothing awful or sinister just a lot of total wtf.

I met a guy in a pub, I didn’t like him much, but he insisted after we had lunch I would follow him in my car to his place. I started to follow him, we came to a very large round a bout with traffic lights, I got caught on the red light, as he took a turning. I took the opportunity to carry on round the roundabout and lose him, and I went home 😂

Errr well...a friend I know (read between the lines! lost her head a bit after her first husband died and went a bit bonkers,we will in hindsight put it down to grief) met a guy on a website and was chatting to him for weeks..He was charming and funny very handsome and sporty.He loved the outdoors playing rugby and mountain biking and rock climbing.Tall dark handsome he was the total package with a fabulous sense of
humour,He was Irish and had a lovely sing song lilt to his voice,She thought OMG yes!!!! So they arranged to meet.She decked herself out in a new outfit from head to toe,had her hair done ,waxed,manicured and buffed to within an inch of her life and jumped on the train to meet him.They had arranged to meet on the train platform 100 miles away and she jumped off the train excitedly.Only the platform was not too busy and she couldnt see him,,its ok she thought he may be running a little late,no problem,The platform emptied quickly and no one was about except a few people milling around.Then she heard her name being called and couldnt decipher where it was coming from..she walked further down the platform to where she thought the sound of her name was coming from.Only to be greeted by a 50 plus highly obese man in a baseball cap in a wheelchair..not just any wheelchair but a fuck off moterized stunt beast of a wheelchair with a rain hood and flashing lights round the wheel..He grinned so glad you could make it I was waiting for you,,,err sorry I dont mean to be rude but who are you please she asked? It was him ..her outdoor action man!!! ONly he was scottish and errr not outdoorsy ,or tall or irish or anything.Turns out he wanted a date but didnt know how to go about it and it had been asking his carer to help.She had fallen for his carer unbeknown to her,And the photo well apparently it was not him eerrr no shit sherlock it was an actor from breaking bad series...as dates go it wasnt ranked as the most successful! She had spent 500 quid on getting ready and 80 quid on a train ticket to be greeted by a fucking hobbit!!!!!!! Funnily enough she did a runner as soon as she could and then spent the next 3 weeks avoiding phone calls and then got a text from supposidly his mum who said she had made him kill himself...whether or not he did due to the rejection remains unclear,,,she fled and didnt look back!!!

Why didn't you just walk off? How desperate do you have to be for a date ffs!

@Carrotcakeyum 😂😂 just read your OP. So sorry this happened to you but I can't help but laugh!! 😁

Especially the bank hub bit 🤣 it's no RAC or Shoreditch House now is it!

I did! I excused myself after 5 mins and said I needed the loo I ran to the other platform and boarded the waiting train...didnt even know where it was going just got on it!!! Luckily it was travelling to within 10 miles of where I wanted to be...it was all too horrific for words..I just couldnt speak...genuinely couldn;t process it at all,just knew I had to get out of there!

@bbciiu It was the Virgin "Lounge" near the Haymarket. Read the reviews of it

@JustWonderful - funny you should say that - you are very perceptive. He was clean and very presentable, but piecing things together...I very much wondered the same thing..

The mistake is always giving the git a second chance. Just block and run.

As for all these people who got in a car with people who are in essence total strangers, wow, that's stupid AF.

A couple of years ago now I went on this date with this man. Both agreed prior to get a coffee first and lunch after if it went well.
Coffee went ok, went to get a pub lunch after which he then declared he wasn't eating as it was Sunday and his mum would make him a roast later (he didn't live at home), I on the other hand was starving. He then wanted me to cuddle up with him on the sofa in the pub, had known him for 2 hours maximum by then, I declined, he got a bit huffy.
He then asked about the next date and that he had a dentist appointment next week and if I would like to come with him to his appointment! I kid you not! I actually laughed as I thought it was a joke but he was being serious. He then tried to justify it by saying he wants a caring girlfriend who will take care of him, show PDA ect and that if I went to the appointment with him then he would cook me a nice meal after!

Well the date ended shortly after that. A few days later he text me, asking if I changed my mind? I said 'no' and that I wasn't really what he was after. The sheer amount of abuse I recieved after! Called me a skank and a cock tease , I blocked him.
About a year later I recieved a message from a number I hadn't seen before, asking me a random question. I responded " I'm sorry? Who is this" to which they responded " apology accepted, can I cook for you now?" It was only bloody him!!
I told him to piss off and never contact me again, then blocked him.

To this day, I question what the hell that was about and pity any woman who comes in contact with him!

Not a date story but I had a POF profile for a while. Woke up one morning to a message from a guy. We hadn't spoken before and this was his first (and only message because I blocked his ass) ... "If you stayed over at my house and went for a shit in the morning, would you leave the toilet seat up or down?"

Men like that are destined to be single ... forever!

@Dramaofallama lol sounds like his twin brother!
@timshelthechoice - I agree - why do we give them second chances? Do we need our gut feelings validated? Do we think we're being too hasty? Too judgemental? In a way it's more about us, than about them...

Carrotcakeyum

It must have been
To this day I am baffled at the whole thing, at one point I actually wondered if he was having a bet to be the worst date in history because it was like something out of a comedy sketch.

I agree - why do we give them second chances? Do we need our gut feelings validated? Do we think we're being too hasty? Too judgemental? In a way it's more about us, than about them...

Social conditioning to 'be nice', to put others' feelings first, 'no one's perfect so I should put up with completely unacceptable shit - like, within 45 mins. of meeting this OP this guy was asking to come to her home and did so over and over but she posts a laughing emoticon. That's not funny, that's creepy AF, poor boundaries, etc.

Ooh I just remembered another. Lots of people came out for my birthday pub crawl. Most were friends but some were friend's friends as well. We all got drunk and had a boogie and I stupidly ended up being kissed by the friend of one of my friends. I pretty quickly discovered that he didn't have a penny to his name and was relying on my group of friends to pay his night out. He kept going round asking who's round it was until someone went to the bar for him. Ugh.

Next day he phoned from our mutual friends phone (he didn't have credit on his and asked me to call him back giving me his number) and asked me out and I politely said no. Can't recall what excuse I used but it was a nice let down.

A week later I got a withheld number call and the man on the other end knew my name and my address and was threatening to come and cut me up because I was a fucking bitch who needed taught a lesson.
Didn't take much to realise it was this bloke or a friend of his due to the distinctive accent of the area he was from. He was the only Bolton person I knew. Didn't scare me much because I doubted that he could have got the train fare together to even get to my town.

Nothing ever came of it but I wonder what the hell goes through these men's minds when they're rejected! How dare we bitches say no huh?

A long time ago now (before I knew better), a friend had a new boyfriend and asked me if I'd like to go out to the pub with them and her boyfriend's best mate for a Sunday lunchtime drink. It turned out that 'Bob's' flat was just around the corner and he thought it would be nice for us 'girlies' to cook the joint of lamb that he had bought. My friend and I went back to the flat and started preparing a full on roast lunch while the lads watched a bit of telly. I turned to my friend and said, 'Fuck this!' And she said she thought Bob was a bit of an arse so we quietly left the flat and pissed off home. I would love to have seen their faces when they smelt burning lamb and discovered the kitchen was as well populated as the Marie Celeste!

One very ‘tactile’ man who put his hand down my leggings. No 3rd date for him. This was on the 2nd date. And he left to get the train. Left me in a pub on my own to wait for my cab. Fine for me to be honest, I’ll talk to anyone. Spoke in Shakespearian via message. All very odd.

^

Priceless