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Original poster

Very unusual message from DP's hairdresser. What would you think?

73 replies

Starmaking · 02/10/2019 15:26

OK, so my DP went to get his hair cut recently. His hairdresser works from home and is a gay guy. Later that evening I saw this message pop up on his phone from the hairdresser.

"Hey" DP Name ", I could see over your trousers u were very excited about , "Ladyname" I think she like you too, maybe u2 could be a good friends lol!

???? Not sure what to make of it. He is straight. We have been together for 16 years and have two children. When I looked later the message had been deleted.

Just looking for advice really

OP posts:
Whatwouldbigfatfannydo · 02/10/2019 15:28

You need to ask him. Or go to the hairdresser and ask him

RushianDisney · 02/10/2019 15:30

Wtf? So the hairdresser is implying that he could see that your DP had an erection? And he assumes it's over whoever 'ladyname' is?

ineedanotherholiday · 02/10/2019 15:32

What on earth? Yeah ask him...

Nofunkingworriesmate · 02/10/2019 15:34

He got an erection over a woman in the salon
Ask your oh, could be nothing could be the hairdresser trying to encourage an affair
VERY open frank /intimate/inappropriate relationship with his hairdresser tho!!!

SunburstsOrMarbleHalls · 02/10/2019 15:34

I would assume from that message that the hairdresser had a female friend or relative ("Ladyname")at the house while your DP was there having his hair cut. It also sounds as if some flirting from either or both sides occurred and the hairdresser is crudely teasing him about it.

If you accidentally saw the message pop up I would just ask your DP outright what was meant by the message and how you fid it inappropriate and disrespectful.

WhatTiggersDoBest · 02/10/2019 15:36

Your DP deleted the message, presumably because he took one look at it, thought "WTF" and dismissed the whole thing.
I'd leave it. And if I was your DP I'd be looking for another salon. Sounds like the hairdresser is fond of hyperbole/exaggeration and I'd think nothing of it.

GeneHuntLover · 02/10/2019 15:39

WhatTiggersDoBest I have to disagree, I wouldn't have thought the hairdresser would have sent that for no reason whatsoever. I would ask your DP, see what his reaction is but of course if he's deleted the message he could deny it ever came through....

readingismycardio · 02/10/2019 15:43

Wtf?!!!? Ask him!!

NameChange84 · 02/10/2019 15:47

I would think he should find a new hairdresser.

Even if he did have an erection, it was inappropriate and unprofessional to go so far to text about it. That's an insane thing to do.

Backtoschooool · 02/10/2019 15:48

Who is ladyname? Not you I presume.

Justmuddlingalong · 02/10/2019 15:52

If you've been together 16 years, would the normal reaction not be to just ask him?

Bluntness100 · 02/10/2019 15:53

I'm assuming lady name is a woman? So there was a crude message from the barber about how your husband reacted to this woman? And he is telling him the feeling was mutual from her?

Original poster
Starmaking · 02/10/2019 15:54

Hi all

TBH this was actually a while ago. There had been trust issues and I decided not to mention it at the time as trying to trust him. However, it does make me uneasy when he goes there due to this text. So when he went recently I was said "oh, I didn't realise you were going there today" and he said "stop going on, why are you always questioning me?" and so I told him that I had seen the text. He tried to shrug it off. but he wasnt 100% convincing. As previous poster said, it is an extremely unusual way for a hairdresser to act witha client if the relationship was a purely profesional one. It just makes me wonder....

OP posts:
tolerable · 02/10/2019 15:59

always go with your gut. to be honest im not even sure what it is making you wonder?

Dollymixture22 · 02/10/2019 16:00

Doesn’t mean anything is actually going on - hairdresser might simply be teasing him.

But you need to ask. Don’t ask the hairdresser, ask your other half.

diddl · 02/10/2019 16:01

It's definitely a hairdresser he's going to??

Why would he keep going after a message like that?

Loveislandaddict · 02/10/2019 16:01

You said the text was a while ago. Has your dp’s behaviour changed since? Any suspicious phone calls or unusual payments on bank statements?

Although a weird text, if there’s nothing suspicious since, then I would write it off as an odd text and nothing more. Deleting it doesn’t mean it’s suspicious, actually could mean quite the reverse as he’s deleted it to end the conversation.

SunshineCake · 02/10/2019 16:03

How lovely it would have been if your partner had said, I am sorry you are upset by this. It looks awful because it is awful. Totally inappropriate and unprofessional of the hairdresser and I won't be going there again.

I wonder why he didn't say that or something similar.

NicLondon1 · 02/10/2019 16:04

If he is not "convincing", he could well be lying about something... would be interested to know what the other trust issues are..?

FlashingLights101 · 02/10/2019 16:04

Do you know who ladyname is?

Rachelover60 · 02/10/2019 16:10

Ask him straight out.

Original poster
Starmaking · 02/10/2019 16:11

I don't know "ladyname" or the hairdresser. OH had previously cheated on me and I found out. He was desperate for me to stay with him and extremely apologetic, I stayed, but I obviously had trust issues for some time, so I would ask where he had been. I do wonder if there are other services on offer at this place but he maintains that he has taken our daughter there once (not entirely sure if she went in the end)and also once mentioned that I should go there, but I never did. As mentioned by previous poster, I think their relationship is very unprofessional as who in their right mind would text something like that to a client

OP posts:
Backtoschooool · 02/10/2019 16:12

Are you sure he is going there to get his hair cut?

NicLondon1 · 02/10/2019 16:15

Hmmm. Maybe you could go there for a haircut and try to suss the place out...?

butterandbread · 02/10/2019 16:16

This all sounds quite odd, OP, I’m sorry, I totally get why it would raise suspicion, especially after catching him up to no good before.

What did he actually say when you asked him? Did he offer any explanation at all or tell you who this woman was?

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