I'm having problems getting on with my MIL, but I know the issue lies with me not her. She is a perfectly nice person and does an awful lot for us, but I'm just finding it increasingly difficult to be in her presence and I know that I am not being a pleasant person as a result. I would like to change this if possible.
We spend a lot of time together. From when DS was about 11 months old she offered to help look after him so that I could return to work. She offered three days per week, every fortnight. I am self employed so could arrange my work however I want. She lives at some distance from us so this means that she comes to stay from Monday afternoon to Friday morning. Now DS is three, this has gone down to two days a week as he is in nursery three day, so she come now from Tuesday evening to Friday morning.
I just find her presence really irritating. There is nothing awful that she does but we just have quite different ways of communicating that are not particularly compatible.
Things started to break down properly last winter when I had a period of getting a series of illnesses. I find that when I am not feeling well I have a tendency to withdraw into myself and I don't have energy for interacting with other people. She on the other hand is far more social and doesn't really understand the introverted personality. Things did improve a bit when DS started 3 days a week at nursery as I found it much easier that she was coming for the shorter time, but they have again deteriorated as I am now pregnant and battling first trimester fatigue so am again short of energy.
I am grateful for all she does for us. I love it that DS has such a close relationship with her and it is for that reason that I don't want to stop her coming (affording paid child care is not the issue).
Does anyone have any suggestions for how I can get myself to appreciate her more and not be so irritated?