How to get the boring bloke to notice me?

[Cheeselipbalm]

First off, I'm single, he's single (apparently) so no home wreckers here!
I've got a crush for a guy at work. He's known for being a bit boring, but I really like that he's not like the rest. He tells it like it like it is and refreshingly honest and straightforward in a world of luvvies. I'm having such trouble getting him to notice me.
First off he's lateish forties, I'm 30. I've got quite a good figure (ish) and wear quite a bit of make up. I usually attract Daily Star readers when I like the quiet, nerdy Guardian readers of this world.
I think he probably wouldn't expect me to be attracted to him. That's not to say I think he likes me or would necessarily go for someone like me. He probably finds me repellent. I haven't noticed him trying to find ways to talk to me, he seems almost angry at me when he talks to me.
I know we share a similar interest so should I try to find a way to talk to him about that? It's been so long I can't remember how you do this stuff!

Why does he seem angry with you though OP? He's either a rude arsehole or fancies you a lot and is defensive about it. Which one do you reckon?

He seems angry with you? Are you sure pursuing this is a good idea?

What’s his relationship history?

We need to know a LOT more about the anger bit before anything else...

I think that he's just quite brisk with everyone as his job role is usually just sorting out the stupid mistakes that everyone else makes. I get the feeling he just wants to be in an office and be left alone, not have to talk to people too much.
The one time he was lovely to me was when he was training me to do something and I could see that he enjoyed that someone took an interest in his particular job role.

@FizzyGreenWater no idea, I know he has a cat

I'd bide my time op and see how I felt since it's a workplace situation. He might seem 'different' but boring, impatient and unsociable people aren't fun to be around after a bit.

boring, impatient and unsociable people

Yeah that's probably why he'd single in his late 40s op.

Proceed at your own risk.

Usually fancying someone in work is just the result of being around them too much combined with a lack of other opportunities at that time. Try expanding your hobbies instead maybe.

"He tells it like it is" - what do you mean by this? So often it translates as "he's critical, insulting, superior and rude"

Google misanthropy, OP.

Hard swerve on this one. He sounds grim as fuck.

You're in to a man who's ignoring you unless he's being a bit rude to you. That sounds a bit fCKED up tbh.

Were your parents not that in to you? I mean that kindly as my own parents ambivalence and neglect made me chase after men who showed a little bit of interest intermitently but not focused on me, consistently

I was raised by an amazing single mum but I guess yeah my dad wasn't that into me.
I don't usually like the chase but I've seen enough about this guy that I feel that he doesn't hate women. He is an ex nurse so hopefully he had that caring nature once!
As for me, I have lots of hobbies, at the moment I'm trying to get free gym equipment for those with mental health issues and fight institutional racism in the NHS. But when I go home I'm still alone after the kids go to bed.

I have lots of hobbies

Sorry I should've made it clearer that I meant in order to meet potential bf, instead of crushing on grumpy-arse.

@GilbertMarkham that made me spit out my tea

Why is he an ex-nurse? He's only in his 40's. Was he struck off?

Are you trying to get the ‘dad’ who wasn’t into you to notice you?

@TatianaLarina I don't think so. I've been in a relationship with a guy who was just like my dad. Promised everything and when it came down to it, nothing. I've been with a guy who spent all our money on beer when we had no electricity or food. They were definitely dad figures. This guy seems like he is very (too?) sensible, very unlike my own dad. Plus he's very English, unlike my own dad and previous partners.

that made me spit out my tea grin

We have a way with words here on the emerald isle

Misanthropy is a hatred of people. All of them.

Yes, it sounds like you are subconsciously seeking to replicate your relationship with your father. I would pull away from this and pursue heavy counselling or your children will repeat the experience.

You've got kids, he doesn't sound suitable to be around them. I'm thinking long term

Your best leaving this before you end up with another disaster on your hands being a nurse doesn't mean people are always nice

He sounds avoidant, as does your father.

Avoidants, like biscuits, come in different flavours.

This isn't Beauty and the Beast, OP. You aren't going to remind him how to love again and find a true prince before you. You'll have your heart broken into pieces, possibly with children in tow and a ruined future.

Is fighting institutionalised racism in the NHS a hobby????

With this type of guy you can’t fuck about trying to get him to notice you. You need to be direct and put yourself out there.

Argh. You could be writing about my ex and at the mention of the cat I wondered if it was! Thankfully he's not an ex-nurse.
I think you need to take heed of the way he treats all people - that's so important. My ex treated me well at work but that's because I was on the same level as him. I look back at how he spoke to others and that should have raised huge red flags.
I ended up living with him and my DD being subjected to that when we did things he didn't like.

I reflect now on how we got together and I do think it's because I was in a bad place and didn't know I deserved better. Don't settle for a man who doesn't show kindness to all.

So what exactly is attracting you about this boring loner whose chief response to you is anger?