How to get the boring bloke to notice me?

[Cheeselipbalm]

First off, I'm single, he's single (apparently) so no home wreckers here!
I've got a crush for a guy at work. He's known for being a bit boring, but I really like that he's not like the rest. He tells it like it like it is and refreshingly honest and straightforward in a world of luvvies. I'm having such trouble getting him to notice me.
First off he's lateish forties, I'm 30. I've got quite a good figure (ish) and wear quite a bit of make up. I usually attract Daily Star readers when I like the quiet, nerdy Guardian readers of this world.
I think he probably wouldn't expect me to be attracted to him. That's not to say I think he likes me or would necessarily go for someone like me. He probably finds me repellent. I haven't noticed him trying to find ways to talk to me, he seems almost angry at me when he talks to me.
I know we share a similar interest so should I try to find a way to talk to him about that? It's been so long I can't remember how you do this stuff!

So is he generally impatient ? Straightforward and honest sound good to me, grouchyness less so.
All you can do is try and get to know him a bit better. Is he shy ?
Just talk to him, withhold any judgement. Then over time work out what sort of person he really is. He may be lovely, he may not. Hard to tell from what you have posted.

To be blunt, he has noticed you. He just doesnt fancy you.
That’s maybe just because he doesnt or maybe je is gay or asexual.

Move along. Also some men just aren’t attracted to women who wear lots of perfume and makeup

Ask yourself. 'what would Bridget Jones do?'. Then do that.

He is not interested .

Christ on a bike. Ask the guy out for a drink and find out. He can only say no - so what.

Why is he an ex-nurse? He's only in his 40's. Was he struck off?

Blimey, that’s a bit of a leap!

So what exactly is attracting you about this boring loner whose chief response to you is anger?

This OP. Honestly, you are not seeing reality but fantacising.

You sound bubbly and outgoing, why on earth would you want to be with the office grumpy?

He is single because he wants to be single. If he starts being nice to you, maybe think again, but I think a reality check is needed.

Its not a good idea to date coworkers anyhow. Put him out of your mind.

I usually attract Daily Star readers when I like the quiet, nerdy Guardian readers of this world.

Then you need to change how you put yourself out there if you are not attracting the type of guys you want to date.

@Scott72 well that depends... better than meeting somebody online that is for sure.

Wow! There’s some massive ‘leaps’ on here (ex nurse- was he struck off) and some really damning comments about a man who the OP has barely said anything about. None of us know him or know what’s going on in his life. Just all leaping to some really odd conclusions with little or no basis in fact. Well, I guess that’s Mumsnet for you. I would suggest asking him out for a drink and getting to know him better, if he does turn out to be a grumpy misanthropic arsehole then you can walk away, but at least you’ve given him a chance and you can put the idea of dating him properly to bed. Lots of folk successfully date co-workers. Have fun and find out more about him!

@KatherineJaneway but isn't that sort of being fake? I read classical literature but I like leopard-print and hoop earrings. I listen heavy metal but I like mustard yellow. I just like what I like!

How to get the boring bloke to notice me

he seems almost angry at me when he talks to me

Leave the guy alone. He's just not into you.

@Coffeeandchocolate9 point taken. Gunna work on forgetting about him.
On a side note is it normal to not be able to imagine introducing anyone to your kids? They've only known their dad so the thought of it just terrifies me.

Is he Mr Darcy? If not, probably better give him a swerve.

Don’t screw the crew.

Direct work relationships are so awkward for everyone else

There's 400 people in this company, I don't work for him or in his department. I only have to deal with him when there's I.T issues. My office is right down the other end of the building to him, still no?

You still might run into him at work, so it could get complicated. But there's the age gap, and that he seems so grumpy, going by your description. It doesn't sound like it would be a good idea. Although if he's a straight male he wouldn't find you repellent. Perhaps he has a personal policy of his own of avoiding workplace entanglements?

It's taken me a lifetime to realise that if a man is interested in you he'll let you know. Stop chasing him, he's not worth it. He's 'angry' when he talks to you, 'tells it like it is' (aka rude and lacking in empathy) and is a loner (I wonder why).

Age gaps are fine but this one is old enough to be your father and you have said yourself that your father wasn't available to you. This guy isn't available to you. You think your past has nothing to do with your current thinking? Think again.

Definitely don't change your style. A person has to like you for how you are, and what your comfort level is.

Maybe he's just a miserable git at work. Try talking to him about things he's interested in, ask him more stuff about the thing he trained you on. If he responds well, maybe he'll 'see' you. If you get to the point where you find out it's all the time, then you'll just have to ditch. (Although how well would you cope with a failed romance at work?)

I really wouldn’t turn this into a fantasy OP. What you’re seeing is who you’re getting. He’s not grumpy because he’s lonely and needs your love. He’s alone because he’s grumpy, an emotional turd pretty much, and he brings sadness to others. And he really doesn’t mind. He’s not sad about it at all. Believe me. And he’s not giving you any signs of interest because he’s probably not that interested in anyone. Underneath that boring exterior is a fizzled out, can’t-be-bothered interior. No passion. No curiosity. He doesn’t like people. And let me be blunt, the sex will be awful, unless snuggling up with a wooden plank is your idea of fireworks. The writing is all over the wall. All signs point to ‘No!’.

Sorry to be blunt.

He may very well be on the aspergers/autistic spectrum hence how he is.

He sounds a bit of a fud. I think it’s worth looking at your reason for being attracted to him, because he doesn’t sound particularly alluring from your description.

OP, find a Claude Sautet film called Un coeur en hiver (A Heart in Winter) from the early 1990s about a violinist who falls in love with a cold, undemonstrative violin restorer who manifests no interest in her, apart from as a musician. She thinks that there must be a warm and passionate heart under the frigid exterior, but after she leaves her relationships and declares herself, it becomes clear the semi-reclusive, work-focused surface is all there is, and the idea of falling in love horrifies him.

@Frangible that sounds a lot like this situation to be honest. I was hoping to get to his hot blooded, passionate energy but perhaps it doesn't exist. Food for thought!