H and I have been together a long time, 3 boys, 1 at school. I'm a sahm and I'm really sick, arthritis and chronic pain. My body is falling apart. H and I are in a bad place and I can't see any way out of it except divorce, but we had another argument yesterday and he throws at me again how supportive he is and how he does everything for us. I don't see it. I think what he does is the bare minimum, he thinks he's a devoted husband and father and I'm not appreciated and expect to much. Am I wrong?
He works hard at work, not long hours leaves at 8, home 530-6. During the week he does bugger all, I'm the one up 6 mornings a week with our DS, I'm the one up at nights. He puts cereal in bowls and sits with them on his phone while they eat breakfast. This is an improvement on his previous eating in another room and is the result of me insisting he does something in the mornings. I make the beds and the lunches and get the house tidy, get medication and teeth and all the morning stuff done. During the week he empties the dishwasher once a day, I usually do it once too, puts bins out once a week and reads with the toddler. That's it. If he gets home during bath time he sits on the couch and leaves me to it.
On weekends he takes the kids out one morning, I take them out the other. He runs errands for himself, like haircuts and buying extra food for lunches, gardens while I watch the kids, does his chores like ironing and making his lunches and insists kids aren't underfoot while he does, occasionally mows the lawn. I usually do 75% of weekend child care.
I'm responsible for everything kid wise, and even though I tell him what kids have on he expects me to constantly remind him too. He tells our eldest he could have gone to school things if only he'd known they were on. I do all the doctors and sick days and deal with our eldest DS anxiety and chronic medical issues and middle DS SEN. I carry all the mental load. I'm completely exhausted, I'm getting sicker and sicker but apparently I'm selfish because I have nothing left for him. And I'm unappreciative of all the sacrifices he made for us and of how supportive he is. I just can't see it, but he's so so sure of himself and I wonder sometimes if I'm wrong.