Hi,
I've been speaking to one of my brothers best friend since February of this year. We started talking for work (I am now his client) and then he asked me for my personal phone number and we started chatting on a regular basis (He went to Singapore in May and he was texting me throughout the day on a daily basis whilst he was there, he also bought me a present out there as he knew I wanted something from there).
We built up a friendship and after months of talking on a daily basis, we slept together a few times.
I really value his friendship more than anything and we had what I thought was a strong, deep connection. Very similar people and he said it was 'fate' that we met and 'lets see what happens' so we continued to talk and see each other (a few dates). I know he was constantly torn with seeing me and his friendship with my brother who he has known for twenty years.
Two weeks ago we met and after us texting each other he was saying he wanted cuddles (Genuine cuddles and not a prelude to sex), I gave this affection when we last met and it seemed like he was freaking out at the time). Later in the day, he said the age difference wasn't a problem (he kind of made a statement to me that he was thinking it wasn't).
We had a great time and then he left (after he'd taken me to lunch the day after) and then he calls me in the evening and I can feel something is 'off'. His communications got less and less (we talked every day pretty much hour by hour).
I asked to speak to him and I said I was getting cold feet (I was at this point as he was being so cold and I was scared of getting hurt). He then said that he couldn't ruin his friendship with my brother and he would never 'approve'. In all fairness, I am just going though a divorce and my brother knows I am not in a good place so right now he wouldn't agree to it, but I think in time if he knew I was happy he would.
I feel a bit 'misled' as he went 'deep' with me and as soon as I went 'deep' he seemed to run away! He was talking about it being fate us meeting (I guess you don't do that for fxxx buddies!) and I genuinely thought when he said 'lets see what happens' that he would consider going into a relationship with me and letting my brother know if feelings developed.
He said it was best to end things now before they got much deeper.
I don't understand! I feel like he's given me mixed messages and am so hurt by it.
We agreed we'd be friends, however I am trying to get my head around it and the fact he wasn't willing to take a 'risk' by even asking my brother.
Am I being unreasonable?
I guess whatever will be will be, but I just feel like we had such a connection (genuine) and I am so hurt by this and I think he feels the same, but I just don't know!
He said he will miss me...however the physical side has to stop.
I am suffering with depression at the moment, so I really just need some advice and support, no hard truths as I just cannot handle my emotions right now.