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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What should i do here, advice needed...

69 replies

edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 20:20

Right, well my long term bf of 3 years and I fell out a couple of weeks ago. His fault, i won't bore you with the details but he basically doesn't trust me and I'm sick of it. We share a laptop, and i didn't realise this but he must be logged on with his phone, as i noticed messages were popping up. Obviously, i had a look :/
I wish i hadnt, because one of the messages was to his friend arranging a lads weekend in january. He mentioned the apartment they were staying in had room for "two males and two housewives" and signed off with "GB". I looked online at the urban dictionary, and this apparently means "gang bang"! I saw this an hour ago and he has been ringing just. I cant bring myself to pick up. What should i do/say? I cant let him know i saw the messages really. I feel sick with it.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 14/09/2019 20:22

You should tell him you’ve seen them and end the relationship. Neither of you trusts the other so there’s nothing to work on or save.

Babdoc · 14/09/2019 20:26

OP, him not trusting you is classic projection. He is untrustworthy himself, and accuses you of his own faults.
You have evidence that he intends to cheat. Unless he can convince you that it was all just banter and lads joking, which I doubt.
It’s really up to you whether you think the relationship is salvageable - or even worth trying- or whether you want to dump him.

BumbleBeee69 · 14/09/2019 20:41

He's a skank... bin his ass Flowers

Elieza · 14/09/2019 20:46

You deserve better, dump him. He isn’t worthy of you if he’s talking about having sex with someone else.
I’d tell him the truth that messages were coming up and you thought they were for you and read them, only realising then that they were for him. By then you’d seen them and were disgusted so he should pack his shit and gtf.

Original poster
edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 20:49

i just feel sick. Im going to have to say something. I was just starting to relent and want to speak with him too.. :/

OP posts:
simone1863 · 14/09/2019 20:49

Could it not be a joke or mean 'goodbye'?

Original poster
edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 20:55

I dont know. i thought that at first but it doesnt seem likely. He was at a festival with the same friend and i left due to anxiety he gave me so much crap about that said id gone off with someone else. Maybe he did.

OP posts:
Original poster
edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 20:56

maybe ill leave it a bit. keep a cool head. cos my head is not cool right now

OP posts:
Nightskywonder · 14/09/2019 20:56

'GB' would sure mean Goodbye... I sign off with 'BW' (best Wishes) ... The 2 males & 2 housewives thing is suspect, but you really should confront him. It'll eat away at you otherwise

Original poster
edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 20:57

i dont really want him to know i read his texts but maybe it doesnt matter anymore.

OP posts:
Nightskywonder · 14/09/2019 20:57

Surely **

Original poster
edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 21:05

Think ill just send him, its a GB from me as in, Good Bye

OP posts:
Original poster
edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 21:05

he never signs off with anything like that though

OP posts:
Original poster
edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 21:06

i feel absolutely fuming :(

OP posts:
lifegoes · 14/09/2019 21:17

Do men sign off with GB or any form of goodbye to mates??? I've not known one.

I have however seen men use GB in that term.

hopefulandstrong · 14/09/2019 21:27

Op the issue is it could simply be a joke, a non funny one but I write loads of crap to my friends and I would never cheat nor am I interested in anyone else.
My dp signs off to his bf with a xx, some people speak/text to others differently.

I'm more concerned by the fact you both don't trust each other and he was mad that you left the festival. My dp would of cake with me in fact recently we went to a festival and he regularly checked if I was ok. Those places are so crowded at time.

Original poster
edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 21:29

i just messaged him. Said as much and that it was a GB from me, as in goodbye. He replied saying he knows when i log in and it serves me right for being a nosy C**t. Then went on to say how he misses me and hes changing his number tomorrow if he doesnt hear from me. Feel like its just head games. Try not to fall for it but i cant help but react aaargh

OP posts:
KatiePricesLeftEar · 14/09/2019 21:31

Any text from him that you now reply to, sign off GB

KatiePricesLeftEar · 14/09/2019 21:31

Tell her m to fuck off

Hadalifeonce · 14/09/2019 21:36

Anyone calling me a C**t, would not be hearing from me.............. ever

Original poster
edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 21:42

hes now saying its a bit of banter and hes changing his phone tmw if i dont reply. what a pathetic pos

OP posts:
WhoKnewBeefStew · 14/09/2019 21:51

I'd not be with anyone who thought it was acceptable to call me a cunt. Add that to the fact he's also a lying bastard and planning on cheating would mean I'd not give a hoot if he changes his number as he'd be blocked

Closetbeanmuncher · 14/09/2019 21:54

Sack him off ......fucking bin diver.

OP don't react you know what the deal is here, and as you've seen he would poke out his own eyes before coming clean about his own behaviour.

Pathological lying and headfucks galore.

Block.

PicsInRed · 14/09/2019 21:59

Oh, well, don't let this one get away OP, what if nothing better ever comes along virtually every other man in the country.

Original poster
edgarallenpoe83 · 14/09/2019 22:13

yep hes a keeper am sure. Im fuming but at least i know, i guess.

OP posts:
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