How should I reply to this text?

[JaysusWept]

Namechanged as I've told my work colleague already about this and I know she lurks on here. (She was absolutely no help - she's probably still laughing about it...)

Background is that I've been single for a couple of years after discovering he was cheating. I have an 8 year old DD.
I am friends with a small group who I have known for a few years - met through kids at nursery/starting school, etc. We do playdates, dinners, drinks out, whatsapp group which is used constantly, helping each other out, etc. We are close and I value all of their friendships.
For the past few weeks I have felt that one of the group, who I shall refer to as C, has been a bit 'off' with me. Nothing I can really put my finger on - I don't always do the drop off and pick ups at school for my DD, but when I have and I've seen C she hasn't chatted with me like she usually would, and 2 weeks ago 4 of us went out for drinks and I felt that there was a bit of an atmosphere when I was talking to her, although she was polite enough. There are people that I am closer to in the group but C and I have always been very friendly and have done many things with just the 2 of us.

Yesterday, I picked up my DD from school and C's husband was there to pick up their DD. The 4 of us walked back together and we stopped outside C's house to finish our chat briefly, before I carried on up the street. C came to the door but didn't come over although she did wave.

At 4pm I received a text from C which read "Doing her usual, all over XXXXX (her husband's name) and doing that stupid fucking laugh of hers" with a couple of angry emoticons.
I replied back "?" and she immediately sent back "Ooops, sorry! That was meant for L (mutual friend in group, but who is very close to C), talking about someone at work! Sorry, just delete!"
I didn't reply to that and almost straight after I received a text from L asking if I was up for a night out next weekend.

C was talking about me, wasn't she? L also wouldn't usually text me about a night out as it would be sent through the whatsapp chat.
I didn't do the drop off this morning, but C has text me (not in whatsapp group) to ask if I fancy going over to hers tomorrow after school with DD.
I'm not sure how best to respond.
Am I being paranoid in thinking that text was about me?

For the record, I don't know C's husband particularly well. I've chatted with him at group things we've attended and a few times we've walked home together if we've done school pick ups as I've got to pass their house on my way home. I am not attracted to him, and nothing untoward has ever happened or would happen, although I may very well have a stupid fucking laugh!

Any advice? I actually feel really fucking weirded out by this.

How was pick up?

Gosh OP- definitely speak up especially if you value the friendships with the other ladies. Also one who thinks it’s good they don’t know what’s going on.
I know you must be hurt by the other two but 3 years really isn’t very long , it’s about the right time for true colours to start appearing . Their loss and you’re long shot of them.

Thinking of you OP, how horrible for you.

As for taking advice on here, you do whatever you feel is right, personally I would have done what you did, spoke to the originator to try and sort things out. You've done that now so your conscious can be clear that you did your best. Yes I would speak to K but be a bit careful, hopefully the other 3 will not want to get involved and can remain friends with you all but separately.

I really feel for you

Good luck! I think calling k is the right thing to do. I'd do it sooner rather than later though, as things will be being spun in your absence.

Oh god, that C and L have made a right arse of themselves!

Caught so leave the group chat to create drama. I think C needs some help, total drama queen

The older you get the more you realise most women only have a handful of friends, if that. The others are merely acquaintances. It is in hard times that you truly know who your friends are*

This is so very true

Well, saw C at the school and she very blatantly ignored me
I wasn’t sure what to do but thought I’d be the bigger person so smiled and started to walk over to her and she very blatantly turned her back and walked over to stand with a small group of other people that I don’t know.
Fuck trying to be the bigger person again.
She very definitely saw me.

Was a bit awkward because we walk in the same direction, past her house and my DD would normally walk with hers when we’re all together but C got her daughter and they must have legged it because they were miles (exaggeration) in front of us.

I’ve spoken to K and explained exactly what happened. I didn’t say this was the reason why C and L left the group, only that we’d had that telephone conversation and then C had left the group.
K agrees that the text sounds like it’s aimed at me. She’s incredulous that C would think I was after her husband. K has had no contact with C but received a message earlier from L to say that she needed some ‘time out from the group’ and would explain later

To whoever asked, my laugh has been commented on before (because it’s quite loud) so yes, it probably is fucking annoying. However, I wasn’t even fucking laughing at her husband that day, because a) he’s not fucking funny and b) it was just general school chit chat.

I’m going to leave it there with C and L. I’m not wasting anymore of my headspace on them.

Pickthelock agree. You only have to watch one of the Housewives of Cheshire/Orange/Melbourne etc to see how these types of large groups all operate on drama, nastiness, pecking orders - and these are women who have it all materially - so can spend their days de-stressing / pampering and it’s still not enough for them to be polite, kind and respectful to another human being.

Your user name is apt op, jaysus wept indeed

What drama heads

Actions speak louder than words.

L is fucking C’s husband. And you’re the fall guy
I would bet my house on it.

If you haven't watched it already, settle down this evening and watch Big little liars, then you will feel much, much better I promise you. Series two is out, but series one is the best. Truly epic at highlighting exactly this kind of behaviour.

So she blanked you, not surprising given she has already probably set up a new whatsapp with her side kick and the rest of the group already, and is busy telling anyone that will listen how awful you are (and lock up your husbands!)

Do not engage with her anymore, grey rock all the way.

You have done absolutely nothing wrong to deserve this woman's bitter jealousy, do not let her get under your skin. Have a plan for next week, who to talk to and see if there is anyone else to walk back with. You really have to style this out, and do not look sad or upset, and stop being polite, she sees it as weakness. How do I know all of this? I had the same thing happen to me. Drop her like a stone, and a dignified distance will be the way forward.

What a horrible end to your week. This is their issue not yours ; don’t blame yourself and do not waste anymore energy on them.

Just to parrot what was previously said up thread don’t feed this school ground stupidity . These ladies obviously have very little to be doing.

and these are women who have it all materially - so can spend their days de-stressing / pampering Perhaps this is why they are like this? Too much time on their hands.

C and L have been bitching privately about all of you, and Cs fuck up and your refusal to take it lying down means they'll be found out sooner or later.

Or, as pp says, L is screwing the dh and you've been set up as the fall guy

Well there you have it. C has been exposed and she knows it. She’s going to cunt it out though. So fuck her.

‘Cunt it out’ is my new favourite expression, it’s bang on the money

I think something should be said to the remaining three too. Not too verbose, maybe just a screenshot of her message with a brief explanation. "I received this message from C minutes after doing the school run with her husband. It had been meant for L. When I asked C about it she got very defensive and then left the group chat. A little awkward now, I guess... “ and leave it at that

^^this

K had told M and D (I said she could).
M has spoken to C and asked what the hell is going on and said let’s sort this out, and C has said that I’ve been messaging her husband on Facebook behind her back!!!!
I cannot believe this.
I have never messaged her husband anywhere, certainly not on Facebook and I don’t even have him as a friend on there! I don’t even use bloody Facebook very much and they all know that!

I have no idea what the fuck kind of stunt C is trying to pull here but I am now properly properly fucked off with her. Mud sticks and if she’s spreading shit like that around about me then there will be some people who don’t know me that will believe it.

I’m torn between maintaining a dignified silence and contacting the cow and telling her to show proof of this. How fucking dare she?!

I presume K understood it all and is firmly with you! What about M and D?

Woah that is some next level shit.

Tell her to show the messages or expect a letter from your solicitor. (You’re bluffing about the solicitor but she doesn’t have to know that
.)

She's told your friends that you've been messaging her DH on FB? Time for your fucking annoying laugh, I think!

Though it begs the question who her DH has been messaging on FB.

Not sure about M and D - it was K who told me about what C had told M, but she was saying that she doesn’t know what the hell C is playing at and she said C’s always liked a drama (she’s known C longer than I have).

I’m thinking that a) C’s husband isn’t stirring shit b) she’s somehow mixed me up with someone else c) she’s just a batshit crazy vindictive little cow.

Do you believe what M says? If you do I would call C and ask what the fuck she is playing at.

Sorry, that should read C’s husband is stirring shit.