Advice needed hes stopped wanting sex...

[Justmeagain81]

Hi all
In newish relationship (2 months or so, friends much longer). Hes a lovely man, caring & supportive. Hes going through a tricky time with his ex & in court process to get contact with his dc as she is witholding contact.
Our sex life was great, & hes rebuilt my confidence in that respect after i had a sexless marriage.
At the weekend he told me he doesnt want us to have sex until everything is sorted out with his dc, he says sex complicates things for him. I can see logically how that would make sense. But its left me feeling rejected & pushed away, i ve spoken to him about it, he assures me sex is amazing & that he wants to, that its not about me, he wants us to be strong as a couple etc. But i can't shake this feeling of rejection, hurt & being pushed away.
Any advice? At the min i feel like this will break us & i don't want that to happen.

hellsbells first advice is bang on. In fact it's some of the best advice I have ever read on here!
Of course noone has the right to demand sex. But equally, if OP is not happy with him removing that part of the relationship then it's fine to say "that's fine. Get in touch when it's all sorted".
And blah blah if the roles were reveresed. newsflash: men and women are a bit different in some regards. I would be very wary of a man stopping sex so early on in a relationship.

First thought was he is still having sex with his ex or he wants to be

Only logical explanation

Oliversmumsarmy

So.if you ever go off sex for a while the only logical reason is that you are having, or what to have sex with someone else?

It couldn't be due to illness - either physical or mental, medication, stress, worry, depression, hormonal changes etc.

Literally the only logical explanation is having sex with someone else?

It sounds like he's playing games or wants to you with your emotions. Get out while you can.

Op said what the problem was. He took offence at her remark that he didn’t ‘please’ her.

I think he's been put off. Too much pressure to perform. Whether it's come from his head or from your non verbal communication or wherever that's potentially how he feels. Now you have to decide if you want that type of relationship. I would say that you don't from your posts. Shame that you have had two relationships where the sex has declined.

Whenaretheholidaysover
Op said what the problem was. He took offence at her remark that he didn’t ‘please’ her.

Ah yes, that went over my head. Sounds like punishment for expressing her own wants.

So.if you ever go off sex for a while the only logical reason is that you are having, or what to have sex with someone else

Not if you explain the reason.

It complicates things as the reason infers that this isn't about stress, or illness otherwise he would have said he was under stress or not feeling well.

It complicates things sounds more about his feelings and if he is having sex with op then it will get in the way about how he feels about his ex.

I think it infers that he might not be getting back with his ex but he is thinking about it

Hi all, hes defintely anxious but we've had a good talk last night & great sex this morning, i think its the pressure.
Thanks all for your messages

& before anyone suggests i forced it, he initiated this morning

tempted...but no, well done OP.

X

Lol
Good update :)

Wow incredible double standards going on here. You know the traumatic things going on his life and the emotional upheaval going on. There is no way the same claptrap if the genders were switched, I just wonder if the man haters here realise that they are doing more harm for the OP by their prejudices.
You should be supporting him not pressuring him. I suggest you walk away, if you cant. but remember when this passes and it will , he will know you as someone who walked away when he was in need.