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Original poster

Partner is snooping on friends FB

61 replies

RachT85 · 06/09/2019 17:37

I snooped on my long term partners phone.......
I've found things before, things that we have caused us to fight but not really bad fights, It was just mild porn or page 3 girls that kind of stuff. Anyway I haven't looked on his phone for a while, But last week I couldn't help myself, I had a feeling and I'm too nosy. As the subject states he's been looking at a close friend, Almost daily. Scanning through her photos, it's not just one or two photos, it's 10+ photos everytime, Almost everyday. I feel sick about it, He hasn't looked on other girls profiles, just hers........Also about 2 years ago I found a photo of my friend on his phone, he'd taken the photo from my phone so I called him out on it and he said he was just curious and it almost broke us. And now I'm so confused and lost.....

OP posts:
LuckyLou7 · 06/09/2019 17:48

Is he simply facebook stalking her photos, or is he messaging her? Is he hoping to strike up a relationship with this woman, or using her photos as wank fodder? Either way, he's behaving in a way that needs confrontation. He either stops it or ships out.

QueenOfPain · 06/09/2019 17:50

How can you see what he’s been looking at on FB?

user1493413286 · 06/09/2019 17:58

How do you know he’s been doing that?

MashedSpud · 06/09/2019 17:58

There’s a setting on fb where you can see everything like google history.

Original poster
RachT85 · 06/09/2019 18:00

I've asked him about it and he says he's never wanked over her, at first he said nothing, Just shut down and wouldn't talk, then he said he admires her and then changed it to that he's just looking at her boobs. My friend doesn't know a thing about it, I've spoken to her and I believe her, I've known her longer than my partner.
He didn't have the fb app so I found it on his internet history

OP posts:
Gchnmum · 06/09/2019 18:12

He’s perving over your friend, and it’s not on. I would find it really creepy tbh. It would be a dealbreaker for me, sounds harsh but I have had a partner like this and there were all sorts of issues, porn addiction, strip clubs, escorts you name it. Not saying yours it up to those sorts of things but he is actively and admittedly perving over your friend. I know people fantasise about others even when they are in relationships but the boldness of this is just disrespectful.

CIareIsland · 06/09/2019 19:26

He’s denying and minimising. Just looking at her boobs — yeah right — def wank fodder.

Pinkbonbon · 06/09/2019 19:38

Your friend? Wow, bang out if line.

Plus, you've already called him out on this friend before and he's still doing it, obsessively.

I agree with pp, it's creepy. Majorly so.

Karkasaurus · 06/09/2019 19:40

Don't look through his phone. It's a gross invasion of privacy.

neverornow · 06/09/2019 19:44

Are we talking about the same friend when you say he had a photo on his phone of a friend 2 years ago? Same girl he's now FB perving on?
He fancies her. Why else would he be looking at her profile and pics so often.
I'm so sorry hun. That just isn't right. He needs to go....

MsDogLady · 06/09/2019 19:51

Two years ago your relationship almost ended because he was keeping your friend’s photo in his phone. Fast forward to now and he is still obsessing and drooling over her. This is such a betrayal. My marriage would be over.

BEDinhalfanhour · 06/09/2019 19:56

Where are you when he's 'looking' at the photos?

Does he make sure you are out?

Original poster
RachT85 · 06/09/2019 20:13

Thanks for replying guys, Yes the same friend. He's said either at work or when I'm out when he's home alone. I spend alot of time with this friend, We all hang out too, like double date.

OP posts:
PimmsPleaseee · 06/09/2019 20:16

I had this with my ex except it was a girl he worked with whilst I was on maternity leave and him on paternity, was constantly searching for her. Then one day I timed it right to find their messages and see he’d been cheating on me.

chickenyhead · 06/09/2019 20:18

He wont change. If you cannot live with this, leave.

mamato3lads · 06/09/2019 20:31

This would devastate me. Almost daily?? It means he thinks of her often... Wanking or just looking / admiring... Does not matter. Its so disrespected and i would never be able to forget it

Winter2019 · 06/09/2019 20:35

And are you OK with this, OP??? OK, he might not be doing anything with her but I bet he would definitely want to, given the chance! Get rid!!!

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/09/2019 20:37

Yuk.

ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents · 06/09/2019 20:39

Whilst I have no idea the truth behind him consistently checking your friends Facebook, do you not think if you find you need to check your partner's phone that there's serious issues in your relationship that need to be addressed?

Evidently, you do not trust him, so the question is why are you with him?

You declaring yourself nosy is not justifiable, he is entitled to privacy, and you snooping is wrong and I'm sure you would not appreciate if someone was doing the same to you.

Address the actual concerns and find a solution, but things cannot continue like this, surely?

Mintlegs · 06/09/2019 20:41

He obviously fancies her. I would not be comfortable with that at all. He sounds obsessed. I don’t really know what to say apart from I hope you are ok. It must be very upsetting for you xx

neverornow · 06/09/2019 20:51

So he's been looking her in pics for quite a while then...if it's the same friend from 2 years ago.
Could you imagine yourself looking at pics of one of his friends on a daily basis and it being innocent? You'd only do that if you fancied a person.
Leave him now hun. You deserve better, he won't change, especially given that this is the second time you've had this issue with him
I'm sorry Thanks

busybarbara · 06/09/2019 22:53

but the boldness of this is just disrespectful.

Ah yes, the boldness of looking at pictures on his private tablet that his DW is snooping through. She's as much in the wrong here

Mintlegs · 06/09/2019 23:23

It never ceases to amaze me that this poor girl has found something out about her partner that is really upsetting but some people fixate on what they perceive she has done wrong instead of giving support and advice. 😕

user1479305498 · 06/09/2019 23:33

Clearly Barbara us women should put up with any old crap, personally I Wouldnt want to be with someone doing this kind of shit-- how else are we or the OP expected to know.

Karkasaurus · 06/09/2019 23:51

Looking up someone on Facebook is not cheating. And she shouldn't even know that he has because that's his private data.

I'd dump someone for thinking it was OK to trawl through my phone whenever they fancied it.

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