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Original poster

Partner is snooping on friends FB

61 replies

RachT85 · 06/09/2019 17:37

I snooped on my long term partners phone.......
I've found things before, things that we have caused us to fight but not really bad fights, It was just mild porn or page 3 girls that kind of stuff. Anyway I haven't looked on his phone for a while, But last week I couldn't help myself, I had a feeling and I'm too nosy. As the subject states he's been looking at a close friend, Almost daily. Scanning through her photos, it's not just one or two photos, it's 10+ photos everytime, Almost everyday. I feel sick about it, He hasn't looked on other girls profiles, just hers........Also about 2 years ago I found a photo of my friend on his phone, he'd taken the photo from my phone so I called him out on it and he said he was just curious and it almost broke us. And now I'm so confused and lost.....

OP posts:
Onesailwait · 06/09/2019 23:58

Missing the point slightly but how can you see what he has been looking at on Facebook?. ( genuine question i wasnt aware f/b kept activity log/history of whats been viewed)

QueenOfPain · 07/09/2019 00:01

Regardless of how she found out, if her DH was carrying an old fashion pack of photos of this woman around everywhere with him and browsing through them throughout his day, would that be okay and normal because they’re in his private pocket?

No, it’s a weird creepy ridiculous thing to be doing and the OP has done right by herself to find out so she can make a choice going forward. It’s all lovey and airy fairy not looking, but if you have a strong suspicion that you’re being taken for a twat, what are you meant to do?

Karkasaurus · 07/09/2019 00:03

I don't personally care who my partners look up on Facebook.

Honestly, how many Facebook searches equal one cheat?

Onesailwait · 07/09/2019 00:03

Never mind, just re read & answered my own question.

QueenOfPain · 07/09/2019 00:21

@Karkasaurus Have you rtft? This guy has previous for his fixation on this woman and had saved photos of her to his phone album in the past.

And he’s not just searching for her, OP looked at his browser history where it showed that he’d been looking through her photo albums. He then admitted that he enjoyed looking at her breasts.

But of course, the OP is the embodiment of crazy and insecure because she had a look to confirm her suspicions.

Karkasaurus · 07/09/2019 00:40

Again, that wouldn't bother me at all.

Thinking another woman has nice breasts is not cheating.

Booboooo · 07/09/2019 00:49

I'd be livid and what a position your poor friend is in now

QueenOfPain · 07/09/2019 00:50

Nobody except you has used the word cheating.

It’s just gross and objectifying and sad for the OP to find her partner fixated on her close friend like that.

Karkasaurus · 07/09/2019 01:10

Maybe don't go through people's private things then.

It's not ok to look through other people's phones. At all.

Rockos · 07/09/2019 03:24

He is weird and creepy. That’s not normal. Why do you want to be with someone who is obsessive about your friend!! Dump!! Find somebody who wants you not your mate!

Sadiesnakes · 07/09/2019 03:31

Ignore @Karkasaurus,
Either a creepy bloke aswell or needs some therapy to help her get her bar off the floor.

Dump op, it's a horrible situation and if you stay it will be a nightmare life always wondering which friend he's wanking over today.Thanks

Strugglingtodomybest · 07/09/2019 03:33

This relationship is obviously going nowhere if you feel you need to check his phone, and especially now that you've found stuff you don't like. There is no trust and therefore no relationship, unless this is the way you want to live your life?

Kittykat93 · 07/09/2019 07:34

God it sounds like he's obsessed with her. And for it to be a close friend of yours is even worse.

ThatCurlyGirl · 07/09/2019 08:04

"Just" looking at her boobs he says?

Christ it's easy to find millions of tits on the internet if he wants to look at some, but he's choosing to look your friends tits.

It's hurtful and also gross to her, presumably on these double dates he speaks to her and sees her as a human being rather than staring at her tits. She'd be grossed out too if she knew.

You're totally right to think this is massively hurtful.

Original poster
RachT85 · 07/09/2019 10:00

Thanks for reply guys, I'm really hurt and like I said lost.....
I know looking through is phone was wrong, I've told his just that and said sorry, I've admitted I don't trust him. When I found the photo I promise I wasn't snooping, We had been to a wedding the day before and the bride had asked guest to send photos over, I said do you want me to send yours over before you forget? He was happy with this.
I know men look at boobs, most of them do it even without realising they do, but he's only done it to one woman, a woman we spend a good amount of time with, He's always friendly to her and her partner, he comes with me when I baby sit all that kind of stuff.

OP posts:
LuluBellaBlue · 07/09/2019 10:04

I couldn’t handle this and would break up with a partner over this.
However you have to decide how YOU feel about this and what you want to do about it. Flowers

OliviaBenson · 07/09/2019 10:23

It's really not normal to look at boobs. What makes you think it is?

Karkasaurus · 07/09/2019 11:09

I don't need therapy, thank you. I happen to be bisexual and will quite often look at pictures of boobs because I think they look nice. I have no problem with a partner doing the same, especially privately on their own phone.

It is not cheating to find other people attractive. Invading someone's privacy is much, much, much worse.

Mintlegs · 07/09/2019 11:33

Karkasaurus, it’s one thing looking at peoples boobs but this is her best friend, someone they know. She will be sat there knowing her partner fancies her friend. If she constantly saved pictures of her friends partner and was ogling him all the time regardless of boobs or packages. Would this be right? Everyone has their own line. For me, My line would have been crossed. It’s worse because they all socialise together. It would make me feel insecure and low.

Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 07/09/2019 11:35

Seems to me this has gone way beyond just looking at someone and finding them attractive - when your partner has saved a photo of someone else in their phone and then you find they’ve been. Having a good perv again, even after it nearly broke your relationship...I couldn’t hack that

lyingwanker · 07/09/2019 12:17

If I were the OPs friend I would feel totally creeped out that her husband kept downloading pictures of me and looking at them on a daily basis 🤢

Malvinaa81 · 07/09/2019 17:37

He's looking at photos of a girl, and you are snooping on his phone.

You are both as bad as each other.

If you snoop don't moan about what you find.

Karkasaurus · 07/09/2019 19:07

Exactly my feelings on it. It's like reading someone's diary and then complaining about what they've written about you. Easy solution - don't read anyone's diary.

mamato3lads · 07/09/2019 19:25

"dont read anyones diary" what shit

So u spend your life being cheated on and taken for a mug but hey ho, as long as you dont know about it

What utter utter crap

MaeveDidIt · 07/09/2019 20:12

You looked at his phone because you don't trust him - nothing wrong with following your instincts, they are there to look after you.
He's a creep and personally I would leave him because you can never trust guys like this.