Can't help being happy at Ex's misfortune

[Asta19]

ExH was an abusive asshole and he nearly destroyed me. But I bounced back, slowly but surely, and now my life is good. It transpires his life has turned to shit and there is no easy way out for him anytime soon. The thing is it's made me really happy! I'll be honest, I am revelling in his misfortune! But a tiny part of me is bothered by how happy this has made me. Everyone always says about taking the high road and forgiveness and all that. And it's made me realise just how vengeful I am. If someone has hurt me I delight in their misery and while I don't believe the universe "pays back debts" everyone who has wronged me in my life has suffered. I believe that's actually because the people who wronged me were bad people who were always going to be the architects of their own downfall. Not anything to do with "higher powers" but it has always turned out that way. But I am a little bothered by how much I enjoy it. Is it really wrong to want to see the people who have hurt you suffer? I feel I am surrounded by far more forgiving people than me and it makes me feel a bit bad. Should I work on trying to be more forgiving? But I don't really know how I would do that. I"m not even sure what I'm looking for from this thread. Maybe just a chance to offload how I'm feeling.

You are perfectly normal to feel as you do OP. In fact, as you feel bad about feeling glad proves that you are not bitter at all.

I totally understand how you feel. I had Ex, who I found out had a long term GF... I immediately dumped him when I found out, but was delighted to here he was struck off in his career done years later.

That was over 20 years ago now, but it serves him right as far as I'm concerned.

I’m not an idiot , I’ve known people rejoice at other people dying of cancer. That’s why I dislike it in general.

But, that wasn't what this thread was about. You've missed the point.

It might not be what this threads about but it made me think of the times when I’ve experienced people delighting in other people’s downfall and it’s something I dislike. presumably the point of this thread is that it’s ok to delight in the down fall of somebody very unpleasant who deserved it because of their own actions. However I think that in itself is subjective. My point is anyone can have an enemy. Relationships can be mutually abusive. Taking pleasure in an ex partners downfall makes me think the person is still stuck in the abuse cycle. Far better to be indifferent as already suggested. Anyway I don’t really like being insulted so I think I’ll bow out.

Actually, I smirked at something that happened to my ex. Wasn't something that would cause harm, it was relatively small. But he was directly challenged about his behaviour in something that had no connection to me and I only heard afterwards. But it freed me, gave me closure that someone else had seen and experienced the abusive behaviour that I suffered and I hadn't over reacted as he'd claimed.

I do smile because my abusive ex...a very wealthy man....is on his own, no partner, very few friends, and dcs who have nothing to do with him. All that money and an empty life.

stairway, hear me out.

Again, I think you have missed the point of this thread. You mention about how it's better to be indifferent. Morally, it probably is. But, hey, we are human.

We are not wishing death on anyone. What we are merely saying is that...oh, I'm not explaining for a third time...

Leave cancer out of it. It was such a dickish thing to say. No doubt, you'll come back again to argue a point that is completely moot...

I don't think karma is real. I know loads of lovely people who have had shitty things happen.

My dad was the nicest bloke you could meet and died at 53 in one of the most horrible ways I could imagine. If that was 'karma' then karma is truly fucked.