Inviting someone to your house after first date!

[monkeytoad35]

Just need some advice really before I make a stupid mistake!

I've met a guy on tinder. Been texting a week or so. Met him today in a public place, a pub! He seems really nice and is super hot! I can't decide if it's a good idea or not to invite him round to my house for second date.

Please advise me wise mumsnetters!

Probably not wise - but I’m pretty cautious.

I would suggest a second date in a public place, that said I've just arranged to meet a guy I've met online (not tinder) so I am watching the replies with interest

Do what you want. Just make sure people know. I presume you want to have sex with him. If not then I don’t much see the point!

Mumsnet is so odd about these things.
I’ve been sexually assaulted and raped but always by someone I knew quite well.

I wouldn't tbh

personally no. get to know him first than giving off an impression your easy!

unless you just want sex then go ahead!

Just be aware that certain men expect sex if you go to theirs or if they go to yours - whatever your relationship is. It doesn't matter if you are a Tinder date, a girlfriend, a friend or a colleague, they may well expect sex.

It's old fashioned & I used to ignore my mum when she said it but it's turned out to be the truth.

I had a lucky escape from a man who turned into a potential rapist once I was in his house (I literally went round for a coffee & to talk about his depression - he was a married colleague & his wife was abroad).

It was very scary how his personality changed from quiet & shy to psychopath.
I stupidly blamed myself, he is now a GP.

I also once had to fight off a date at his bedsit - we were going to watch a dvd but he had other ideas.

So no, i would now never invite a man round unless I was happy with the fact that he may want to have sex.

I do want to have sex with him but just not yet. Too soon. He knows that. I'm just not sure if its a good idea as I've only met him once.

Only if you want to have sex. If you don’t want to (yet) then stick with dates in public places.

Of course it’s not a good idea. You don’t know him.

The problem is we can't really stick with public places as we are both already in relationships unhappy ones that we both want to come out of. Which is why our houses are the only viable option at the moment

Oh, really? Quite the drip feed there.

I went back to my now boyfriends place about an hour into our first date, I didn’t fancy being abused if I kissed him.

But, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, you need to do what you feel comfortable with at the time.

Oh dear

I wouldn’t.

'Both want to come out of.' Well, why haven't you then? Before dating other people?

So you're both cheating on your partners? Sounds like you deserve each other

Definitely not! He could do anything to you!

You'll have to book a cheapo hotel to have your affair in.

Why not split up with whoever you’re with first? If you’re unhappy, before putting yourself on tinder.

Met on tinder, been on a date, both in other relationships.

Fuck it, invite him over, crack on, the two of you sound absolutely perfect for each other.

Excellent drip feed.

Without getting into that, I've had second dates and mine or theirs but it's mostly been for sex because...that's what a house date is. I am not worried about giving off an impression your easy because I'm not 15.

Sounds great. Maybe dump your respective partners first, then date.

And starting a date at someone's house generally means sex to me. So if you don't want to, don't.

I wouldn’t be dating anyone while still in a relationship with someone else, sorry. It’s disrespectful to them, even if they are a total asshole of a B.

It would be better to split up, be on your own and get to know your own mind again, before considering a relationship with someone else. What’s the rush? Are you thinking you can’t afford to be alone or something and need to move out into somewhere else with someone to share the bills? Don’t rush. He may be an ass too. And then you’re stuck with him!

Feel the pain of splitting up with the current guy and then move on in due course.

Personally, I’m a few years time, if you did date this guy and he seemed to be out a lot and wasn’t paying you much attention, knowing how you met him while he was dating someone else, could you trust that he wasn’t two timing you?

Sorry, I know you don’t want to hear that and of course you are free to do your own thing and can ignore it. Whatever you do I hope you find the happiness we all deserve.

Are you actually for real 😳

I think it’s sheer fucking madness to be honest.

Oh, and break up with your current partner .

Why don't you just split with your partners??

Sounds like you surely don't even live with them, so how hard can it be?