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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Inviting someone to your house after first date!

53 replies

monkeytoad35 · 04/09/2019 20:13

Just need some advice really before I make a stupid mistake!

I've met a guy on tinder. Been texting a week or so. Met him today in a public place, a pub! He seems really nice and is super hot! I can't decide if it's a good idea or not to invite him round to my house for second date.

Please advise me wise mumsnetters!

OP posts:
Watchingthyme · 04/09/2019 20:58

I genuinely can’t literally can’t believe someone would come on here and ask that!!!
can’t believe it

managedmis · 04/09/2019 21:05

Ah right

managedmis · 04/09/2019 21:06

Really, watching? You're not that naive, surely?

Watchingthyme · 04/09/2019 21:09

Clearly I am !!

Wherearemymarbles · 04/09/2019 21:12

Book a hotel? Surely thats what people like you are meant do. I’ve heard there are places that even do it by the hour.

cacklingmags · 04/09/2019 21:16

No, meet in a public place and stay safe.

Ginger1982 · 04/09/2019 21:20

Yuck. Disgusting and dirty.

So you're desperate to shag him? Lovely. If 'not yet' then you'll definitely be giving him the wrong message by inviting him back to yours.

Here's a novel idea, why don't you break up with your partners/spouses first?

Unreasonable123 · 05/09/2019 07:05

How did you even get away with being on tinder ? Anyone could of seen you

MarigoldGlove · 05/09/2019 07:20

So your plan is to meet at your houses forever? Confused

Whenaretheholidaysover · 05/09/2019 07:44

Neither of you can be seen in public but you both had your photos on tinder?

MargoLovebutter · 05/09/2019 09:35

Um, what exactly is the stupid mistake you are thinking of making here?

Inviting someone you don't really know to your own home, where he is possibly going to think sex is on the agenda, but you are not?

Or, is it being in a relationship and having an affair?

All sounds like fucking madness to me and I'm wondering if this is some kind of goady clickbait thread and not actually real.

TheStuffedPenguin · 05/09/2019 09:38

So you are happy to settle to entertain him in your house , him drink your wine/whatever /eat your food and then shag him ? Are you setting the pattern for your future with him ?

TheStuffedPenguin · 05/09/2019 09:39

Oh wait , yes you have to - just saw the cheaters info.

BrightonRox · 05/09/2019 10:44

Just need some advice really before I make a stupid mistake!

And then drip feeds to say you are having an affair! Get real OP. End the relationnships you are already in.

Bunglefromrainbow · 05/09/2019 11:33

Absolutely do NOT take him to your house until you have both ended your current relationships. Before the drip feed I was going to say that I had my DP round for our first date although we had mutual friends so no danger of her being a weirdo (well not on that first date, 7 years later I may have to reconsider....).

Have some respect for what you once had with your current partner and finish it.

LuckyLou7 · 05/09/2019 11:38

What if your current partner pops home and catches you in flagrante delicto with your Tinder bloke? Book a cheap hotel, the sleazier the better.

Orangepearl · 05/09/2019 11:41

What if he tells your other half?

Bluntness100 · 05/09/2019 11:43

So is this one of those affair site things?

CTRL · 05/09/2019 11:43

So hold on....you want advise and suggestions on how you can cheat and get away with it !?!

TF !?!

joystir59 · 05/09/2019 11:46

Leave your current partner. Get that all sorted out then start on Tindr. Have some self respect and look after yourself rather than engaging in this furtive and dangerous behaviour that you are not even comfortable with yourself.

hellsbellsmelons · 05/09/2019 11:53

'Both want to come out of.' Well, why haven't you then? Before dating other people?
Hopefully this isn't for real.
But that ^^^ in case it is!

nmc99 · 05/09/2019 12:08

You would probably be best off posting this in the sec topic OP, cheating threads don't go well on here

RainbowJumpers · 05/09/2019 13:07

From AS the OP I can see they are in a sexless marriage and have been for 5 years.

OP I imagine you aren’t coming back, but you haven’t really given any details so I’m not sure what answers you were expecting.

Are you looking for an affair because your DH won’t have sex? That’s not the answer. Or are you looking for a new relationship? If so then break up with him first, as you’re just cheating, that’s not going to solve anything. You don’t have to put up with a sexless marriage. Have you talked to your DH about it? How’s he going to feel when he finds out you’ve been having sneaking back to your house? Sort the problems you have before jumping in to something (or someone) else.

loveyoutothemoon · 05/09/2019 13:27

Finish with your partners before shagging about Angry

Cath2907 · 05/09/2019 13:37

I did with my current OH but then I was really only interested in a sexual relationship. He knew that. We still mostly meet at my house. We do occasionally go out and do something with our clothes on but it is rare!

I think your problem is the existing unhappy relationship. Ditch the soon to be ex!