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Original poster

Does anybody regret getting married at a registry office?

85 replies

Whatagreytdoggo · 04/09/2019 11:32

We've only been engaged a couple of weeks, (together for 7 years.) But we've been looking at wedding venues near us to get an idea of price and we've realised it's going to take us many many years to save up for the kind of 'proper' wedding day everyone dreams of.
We've found a lovely register office, but it's still just a building on a main road and obviously not a big pretty venue with a lovely outdoor space.
Part of me (I think most of me) feels like I want to be married more than I want a wedding, but theres a part that feels a bit like I'd be missing out and what if I look back at our day at regret it? We're so torn and don't know what to do. :(

OP posts:
Todayisontheup · 04/09/2019 11:52

Hi Op,

I can see your dilemma.

Are you more worried about how children or future children would view the pictures? I know it is different but when I graduated last year I did not bother with the professional pics and now regret it.

If you won the lottery yesterday what would you do?

Good luck either way.

LightDrizzle · 04/09/2019 11:56

No! It was lovely!
Really lovely!
We were both working full time in pressured jobs, planning and paying for a big wedding had zero appeal and we had a wonderful day.
I bought a Vivienne Westwood pink tartan dress off eBay and felt amazing.

Gumbo · 04/09/2019 12:05

I got married in a registry office and regret absolutely nothing about the day... I'd do it again in a heartbeat! We saved loads of money, I wore what I wanted (beautiful little burgandy velvet dress) and the whole thing was not at all stressful and just very relaxed and personal.

I say do it Smile

BroomstickOfLove · 04/09/2019 12:09

There are some really pretty registry offices with outdoor space, so I suppose it depends on where you get married.

Robin2323 · 04/09/2019 12:10

Not one bit.

Both second time round.

Our register office was beautiful
Like a little chapel complete with stain glass window.

Save a shed load of money and had a big party in the evening.

Go for it x

PreschoolPlease · 04/09/2019 12:11

We got married in a registry office, but abroad. Don't regret it at all. Easy, quick, no fuss then out for a nice meal afterwards.

GammaStingRay · 04/09/2019 13:17

I’m getting married in a register office in a couple of weeks. We’re so excited! Having eight guests, immediate family. Have chosen music and a reading and then we’ll all go out for lunch afterwards. Cost to get married including rings and ceremony and dinner: approx £600. My dress was £17 from H&M :)

We have zero interest in a traditional wedding, we just want to be legally married and share a name and wear rings. I’ll be six months pregnant (we always planned on a shotgun wedding as we wanted to be married before our first child but didn’t want to delay TTC, got really lucky conceiving quickly and then decided to marry during pregnancy).

We’ve obviously saved a fortune, and we can’t wait to be husband and wife. I see getting married as more about the commitment between the two of us than a big social show, we’d have been just as happy marrying with the two of us and random witnesses but decided to invite a few immediate relatives as it’ll be nice to show the baby photos when he’s older. It’s on a Weds morning and then we’re back at work on the Friday but will probably go out for the day Thursday.

Getting married is really about making that legal commitment to one another that you’re family in the eyes of the law/state, it’s not the same thing as a wedding in any way shape or form and people often get the two confused and think they can’t afford to get married when it’s more that they can’t afford a lavish wedding.

I would say if being married is important to you and it’d take years to save up for a fancy wedding (and think what else you could do with that money!) you should go for it at the register office. But then again I find it impossible to wrap my head around people spending thousands on a wedding. Each to their own of course but it just seems so incredibly excessive and pointless unless you’re rolling in it.

AnotherEmma · 04/09/2019 13:21

Go for the registry office - you can then have any kind of celebration you want afterwards, the venue doesn't have to be a registered wedding venue and you could have it in your house (or someone you know who has a big house) or a community/church hall or just a pub or restaurant. You could make it as small/big, casual/fancy etc as you want.

Lifecraft · 04/09/2019 13:33

In my experience, the cheaper/smaller the wedding, the longer the marriage. Register office for us, nearly 40 years ago!

MyCatHatesEverybody · 04/09/2019 13:34

I remember back in the day I chose to get married in a register office a couple of towns away because it was way nicer than my home town's one. Would that be a possibility?

Mordred · 04/09/2019 13:39

Yep, DW and I got married in our local register office with friends and family in attendance, then had a 'reception' in the pub over the road (we knew the landlady well - she was a guest). We paid for lunches and a bar tab.

No regrets at all - it was a wonderful day, 24 years ago.

Rubicon80 · 04/09/2019 13:44

We got married in a registry office about 6 years ago. I have never for one moment regretted it or wished I had spent thousands of pounds on one day.

having said that, I'm not the type of person who is into appearances, big shows or being the centre of attention, so I would not have had a huge glitzy princessy day even if I had loads of money.

I would just have had a better holiday afterwards Grin

BogglesGoggles · 04/09/2019 13:47

Not even remotely. I recently attended a (what looked like a very expensive) wedding at one of the oldest churches in the country with an equally stately venue for the reception. It was very nice but I much preferred my quick no fuss regustry affair (no lengtgly hymns, sermon etc to sit through). The reception was also small and warm. More to my taste. I like a pretty building as much as the next person but I don’t want to sit through hours of ceremony on my wedding day. If I remarry for some reason registry would be my first choice again.

Fudgenugget · 04/09/2019 13:51

My parents married in a registry office in the 70s. I got married 14 years ago in one. Most of my family have, I think. We concentrate on the party afterwards!

Alwaysgrey · 04/09/2019 13:59

Nope. We now have a large house in a good town. I don’t work as the kids have disabilities and what a wedding would’ve cost we have in savings for the kids to do things.

Walnutwhipster · 04/09/2019 14:05

When I got married the only choice was church or registry office. I'm atheist and not a hypocrite so there was no choice. The building wasn't great but we drove to a beautiful area to take photographs before going on to the reception. I have no regrets.

tierraJ · 04/09/2019 14:05

One of my friends got married in a registry office in 2009 still together 10 years on.
She wore a beautiful pre worn white wedding dress from eBay with a proper princess veil & he wore a suit.
She's nine years older but they are perfectly matched.

eenymeenyminyme · 04/09/2019 14:06

I regret the getting married, but not the registry office

CassianAndor · 04/09/2019 14:09

Part of me (I think most of me) feels like I want to be married more than I want a wedding

to be honest, unless 100% of you wants to be married more than you want a wedding, then you shouldn't get married at all.

We got married at a registry office on the cheap, couple of mates, lunch with them then garden party back at ours afterwards. I think I might like to do a big party for our 10th anniversary.

PerspicaciaTick · 04/09/2019 14:10

If you are anywhere near Essex, have a look at the community venue at Cressing Temple Barns (not the approved venue at the same site).

Amara123 · 04/09/2019 14:11

It doesn't need to be either or. Do some more research and you might find a little venue you like and some ideas about how to do a reception that you like. Google wedding venues in your area and Google DIY weddings in your area.
We got married by a humanist celebrant in a small rural hotel in Ireland, we had a lovely little wedding.

Animum2 · 04/09/2019 14:41

Dh and I would rather have a good marriage than an expensive wedding that would get us into debt, ours in total was around 1800 for registry office and then pub reception, it was perfect for what we wanted

nrpmum · 04/09/2019 14:51

No, we had a reception at a nice hotel afterwards and to be honest we had a fabulous day.

NewMe2019 · 04/09/2019 14:52

I got married in a registry office and had a cheap reception. I regretted it because nothing about it was ever what I had envisaged. I did it all because it was cheap.

If I get married again I'm not doing it the same way.

3timeslucky · 04/09/2019 14:53

No regrets. We had a group of 20-something who came to the registry office and then we had a meal. It never even crossed my mind that I'd missed out on something as it was what we chose and we had a lovely day. (Having said that most aspects of a traditional wedding would bring me out in a rash so maybe I was never a candidate for one).