Would you try and make him want you?

[sincerityisscary]

Have just been told by a guy I'm seeing (or was seeing) he doesn't want a relationship and that he just wants fun,he said I was getting too serious and it's not what he wanted.
We get on great,speak all the time,chemistry etc
So I've spent the last few days thinking how can I change his mind etc
Then today I've had a lightbulb moment and thought ...stuff him if he can't see that it could be something good then he's loss.
He is still texting all the time and communicating but I don't think that's gonna help me.
I have feelings for him...even if he has any kind of feelings he doesn't want more than friends with added extras ...and that's not enough
What would you do?
Think he could end up being a good friend ?
Or just cut him off totally ?

I'd call it a day if I was you. He's told you how he feels and it's not enough for you. Don't waste any more time on him

Cut him off totally. Find someone who wants the same from a relationship as you.

Cut him off. You deserve more.

I know there's always gonna be flirting creeping back in and I think if we met up for drinks (as friends ) something might happen but then again maybe it wouldn't and we could just be friends.

He might be a good friend, if you re-encounter each other several years down the line. It won't convert at this point - too messy and a recipe for disaster.

I think you just tell him that you don't want the same things, then have nor further contact. (Don't just ghost him, that's not nice).

And then put your energy into having a fabulous time by yourself or with friends, and be open to meeting new people.

These last few months he's been all I've thought about.
I've really let myself go.
Just stressing about him,why he was blowing hot and cold and trying to be funnier or sexier for him and I'm exhausted.
I don't think I could have done any more.

Sorry OP seen this with many friends- it always ends with the man eventually settling down and the friend who held out hope they’d change their minds on them always end up heartbroken.
Cease contact

End contact and take a break from dating! You can’t make people be more into you, and should have walked away much, much sooner when it was obvious he wasn’t into you

It wasn't obvious ...at first he was texting a lot,meeting up a lot etc
Great chemistry etc
Then I wanted to do more coupley things and I think I freaked him out.
I don't know

He's using you .. until something better comes along... close the door.

I think sometimes
Men do this to
wrap you around their finger and keep trying to win them.

You are worth more because you want/need more. He is probably a lovely man, and he's honest, but it's not meant to be.
Maybe you could be good friends in time after being distanced for a while.
Go out with friends and enjoy yourself.

He’s always going to have the upper hand and healthy relationships shouldn’t be like that. Walk away, don’t offer friendship.

It's been a rollercoaster really as he kept changing his mind.
Stopped meeting up then wanted to meet up then changed his mind again
I haven't known if I was coming or going.

Block him.

After numerous usernames all posting the same variation of the same subject and same guy please block him.

Your other post about “does someone like you if they sleep with you/kiss you” hasn’t even been removed but you still create another.

If you meet up for drinks 'as friends' he is just going to try to get you into bed again. He doesn't value you enough to commit, which is what you are looking for, so show some commitment to yourself and walk away. You don't need a 'friend' who uses you for sex knowing you are hoping for more. If you are with the right person being yourself should be enough.

I tolerated FWB a number of times in my early 20's. I cringe now when I think about it. My self-esteem was in the toilet and I took the scraps that men threw at me. I stupidly thought sleeping with a man would be enough to keep him. Unfortunately for me they only liked me enough to sleep with me and once they got that there was nothing else to stick around for.

I desperately craved a proper relationship where we met each others parents, went to the cinema, met each others friends.

Self respect in exchange for sex/relationship on someone else's terms. Never.

He sees you as a booty call. FWB. If you want a real relationship then cut this man out of your life. You’ll miss out on a better match for you while you’re hung up on him.

He's a head fuck, you could continue down this road and tie yourself up in knots but for what. Cut him off now and do yourself a massive favour.

I speak from experience, I carried on like this for a couple of years with someone and by the end of it I felt exhausted and my self worth was in tatters. Nobody should ever feel that way.

I'd block him personally. You're to into hin to have a platonic relationship.

Fgs, cut him off completely. He gets off on fucking with you. He isn't worthy of your time.

We get on great,speak all the time,chemistry etc

He obviously doesn’t think this though. Don’t force it or manipulate a situation. Leave him be

Nope. Knowing that he’s dangling you until something better comes along should be enough info to put you off.

The ideal is you get the, ‘Why Miss Sincerity, you’re beautiful!’ scenario, he falls at your feet and realises true love was in front of him all the time (or a great relationship or whatever fits). The reality is you are jumping through hoops and they are getting smaller and smaller to the point you are having to contort yourself. You have your self-respect, if he needs the shake-up in order to want more, you will forever have to maintain it. You deserve better.