Would you try and make him want you?

[sincerityisscary]

Have just been told by a guy I'm seeing (or was seeing) he doesn't want a relationship and that he just wants fun,he said I was getting too serious and it's not what he wanted.
We get on great,speak all the time,chemistry etc
So I've spent the last few days thinking how can I change his mind etc
Then today I've had a lightbulb moment and thought ...stuff him if he can't see that it could be something good then he's loss.
He is still texting all the time and communicating but I don't think that's gonna help me.
I have feelings for him...even if he has any kind of feelings he doesn't want more than friends with added extras ...and that's not enough
What would you do?
Think he could end up being a good friend ?
Or just cut him off totally ?

I don't think I'm "needy" as such.
He's the first person in years I've really liked.
Normally I just don't like them and after two dates don't go for a third.

Maybe you are holding on for dear life because you find it hard to meet people you fancy. The fact you like him so much doesn't make him right for you. It's not reciprocated to the degree it should for this to work.

You need to accept this, grieve the end and move on. You have no hope of meeting someone else while you are holding a torch for someone who refuses to give you what you want.

It shouldn't be this hard

OP, find your self respect and dump him. Feel the power of doing that, of taking back control of your life and your feelings.
You will not miss him.
You will only miss the fantasy man you thought he was. Which he isn’t.

The fact you like him so much doesn't make him right for you. It's not reciprocated to the degree it should for this to work.

Yup. He wants occasional casual sex and probably gets off on how much you're into him. You want a proper relationship and reciprocity. It isn't going to work. You can come to terms with that now or much later down the line when he still hasn't changed his ways, because he won't. I'm sorry.

I think he does get off on it.
He talks about all the women who are after him and how he ends up causing arguments with couples because the women want him.
He made out that it was heading somewhere at first then when I asked questions he blamed me for being intense as why he backed off and that I imagined it being more

Op, Podwoman has it right. You only feel like he is messing with your head because you are allowing him to do so. He has been honest and told you he is not interested in a relationship. He wants fwb and when you respond to his flirty messages and continue to sleep with him you are agreeing to his terms. His conscience is clear.
It is so painful and difficult to end something with someone you really like but you must do this for your own self-esteem and mental health. It will be much harder further down the line when you are more invested but he still isn't.
If you respect yourself first, he will respect you back. You are enough in yourself for the right guy. No need to continually jump through hoops. Get yourself free and healed for someone who will love you for being you.

stuff him if he can't see that it could be something good then he's loss.

Great attitude. Just block, delete, unfriend him. Self absorbed time waster.

Sorry, it Sounds as if he is keeping you in reserve for when he doesn't have anyone else available.

There will be someone way better out there for you. The absolute best way forward is to build and enjoy a great life without him.

The more he is around the less chance you have of meeting someone new. Cut ties nicely, but having him around puts you at a disadvantage. It shouldn't be exhausting in a relationship

Cut him off

Ffs how many more threads?!

Id find someone who did.

@SparklyMagpie Many, many, many more.

"how he ends up causing arguments with couples because the women want him."

What a twat.

How can you be attracted to someone who comes out with crap like that?

I was loved bombed by someone like that and reeled me right in. He started saying crap about when he was younger he used to have 2 or 3 on the go at the same time etc but once he met his ex it all changed and he's no longer like that.

I thought it was odd because he's nice but not irresistible. Even now, as much as I was after him, it was only because he loved bombed me and then started blowing hot and cold that I stopped looking at him objectively and believed all the crap he told me. Even though I didn't really.

The only reason you like him is because he's unavailable. Work on yourself and find out why you only want unavailable men. And like others said, block and unfollow him. He's not worth it and it's not letting you move on