My nan chose to live her life alone when my grandad left her for a younger woman - what if that is me. Can a person be truly happy without (their soul mate) love?

[Leapoffaith00]

I didn't really understand as all I knew was visiting Nan and grandad separately. I never questioned why until I became an adult. She was beautiful and chose to stay alone. Not sure if she ever got over it. I never asked her but sometimes I would question if I could see sadness in her eyes or was it me that felt sadness for her, not sure.
I know love comes from family and friends also but what about that love you have with your 'soul mate'?
I have been single for a long time. I'm 42. My dc's are growing fast. I have a couple of friends I meet for coffee or lunch but very rare as everyone is always busy.
I thought I was ok alone, I guess part of me thought I would maybe meet someone.
Recently, my nan passed away and I have been thinking alot about her life. I do wonder how she felt. Is there true happiness in living alone?

Do you put out an add? Haha

Niche market? In all seriousness I knew him anyway - friend first, then FWB.

hope you’re feeling less raw soon

I wonder this too. Split from my partner of 11 years just before Christmas last year and whilst he's cheerfully moving on and "putting himself first for a change" (split was entirely his decision), I'm fucking broken still.

I veer between thinking I never want or need to have a man in my life again (on any level - I'm never living with one again no matter what), and being achingly crushingly lonely and wanting that connection.

I assume at some point in the hopefully not too distant future it'll all settle down for me and I'll feel ok about however things end up being.

I agree that men are EITHER needy or avoidant. No happy medium.

My gift as a woman to a man partner is over. I have been plaything, mother and nurse all my adult life.

People are all different. My DM couldn't live without my dad. He was her soul mate, her anchor and her everything. When he died, she spent the next 2.5 years drinking and neglecting herself to death, scaring her family and neighbours manh times. Her devotion was admirable, but led her to act in a way that was horrible to everyone around.

I have been widowed a year. My H and I were divorcing when he died. I have been happier in the past year than I was in the 5 years preceding. My DDs are too. We feel the sadness about what happened and the choices he made, but life is good. I am open to the idea of another relationship, but it isn't something I need. I have work, friends, hobbies. I am emotionally self sufficient.

Other people can't be happy without companionship. Live and let live.

Yes, I am happy on my own- divorced with 3 kids. I was with my ex for 20+ years and I'm just so happy to be able to do what I want without compromise that I can't see myself ever living with another man.
I have a couple of casual FWBs who are similar age and also single. It's nice to have someone to go on a date or hang out when we feel like it but we all need our own space.

We need more networks for single people that aremt dating. I dont fear being single as i age but i suspect society is structured in a way that makes social connection harder when u have to be brave enough to go out looking for connection

I veer between thinking I never want or need to have a man in my life again (on any level - I'm never living with one again no matter what), and being achingly crushingly lonely and wanting that connection

Yes. This is me right now @QOFE

I used to think i couldnt live without my 'soul mate' husband but now i relish the thought and after being taken advantage of in terms of money, housework and emotional labour, my home is now sacred and MINE alone, exactly how i want it (except for DD). I am happy to stay this way and travel and date. Luckily my hobby is knitting so by the time i run out of every drop of sex appeal i have a ready made activity and social circle to go on coach trips and knitting cruises with

I genuinely don’t understand the assumption that the end goal for everyone should be to find a partner! Why? There is a lot to be said for the freedom of being single.
You only need to read this board to realise that relationship does not equal automatic happiness!!

In the words of my lovely, mild mannered, most patient friend “ Jaysus NO! , I couldn’t be arsed breaking in another Husband “ I still roar with laughter just thinking about the look on her face, as she uttered the most unlikely ( for her ) answer ever.

I love living alone. However, I would like a partner and miss the intimacy especially cuddles.