You only get one life, this is not a practice run.
What I have posted below is a small snippett of your life, I have only picked a few things out, there is ALOT more.
Is this how you want to live for the rest of your life ?
Is this the future you want for you and your dd ? Do you want your dd to learn this behaviour ? do you want your dd to end up with issues when she becomes an adult ? years of therapy ? Mental illness ? If she came to you right now as an adult with the list I have posted below, what would you say to her ?
-----------------------
I don’t get much of a break as a SAHM.
He spends a lot of the weekend napping
he told her that if she loved me she would eat her food.
Friday he was out late and spent loads of money, spent all day Saturday in bed and then went out last night till late
we need the money he’s spending
He has said I’m being really selfish and unsupportive to deny him this
he always criticises me and he said I have a pathology in my brain that makes me think everyone is criticising me.
The two people I’ve spoken to at women’s aid also said the same and suggested he may have narcissistic traits.
He has just had a big rant at me about how my job is to make sure she eats and sleeps and I’m not doing that
I told him this and he said I was a bitch
I’ve also noticed that he will do the opposite of what the health visitor has advised
It was similar in the winter where he would have the heating on but leave the door to the room open. In the past we have always shut it to keep the warmth in as our house gets cold. I kept reminding him to close it but he wouldn’t. We got a huge gas bill. Then when we stopped needing the heating on he started closing the door again!
He’s got really mad and says I’m stubborn and defensive and has made me agree to have a cleaner.
I feel I’m always being lectured on my communication problems and stubbornness and defensiveness
I’m not quite good enough at keeping the house up to scratch and it makes me feel humiliated.
He’s been lecturing me for the past hour about how I’m failing our daughter for not getting her eating well, failing her because she is not sleeping enough hours and failing her because she tries to bite me sometimes and bit another child.. Because he’s at work I’m the one to blame.
He jabs his finger at me and looks so angry. He constantly says I’m defensive and stubborn
he kept telling me to go away and that I sounded crazy and nuts and turned the light off.
He has ordered me out of the room saying I sound nuts and says he is staying in a hotel tomorrow. Before if I cried would give me a hug.
He just says he doesn’t care and that I should go away and think about what I’ve said
Yesterday I was talking too much and he said he wanted silence.
He has such an angry look on his face and said I’m unbearable
he says I sound nuts and paranoid
Today he has told me that I’m difficult and cause him stress
If I ask him questions about anything I’m grilling him
last night he suddenly lectured me out of nowhere about the fact I cause all this drama and it needs to stop
Instead of backing me up he says I am lying and takes every opportunity to do the exact opposite which has resulted in the small issues becoming a lot worse!
He constantly asks me to explain what I am doing and argues that it is wrong.
I’ve noticed the latest thing my husband is saying is that I’m paranoid and controlling if I challenge him on anything and then I start to try and defend myself and then he will sternly tell me to stop
he is always tired and has lots of naps at the weekend and won’t really come out
I said jokingly ‘you’re always tired’ and he’s got so mad he’s threatened to leave
I feel like I have to be so careful about what I say, said I am a bit crazy and unable to communicate like an adult and he can’t deal with me
He has threatened to leave me and basically questioned whether he is even attracted to me
He says I lack the emotional intelligence
Well I’m pretty sure that the ‘argument’ was caused on purpose to justify a late night out drinking
He feels I go out with our daughter too much and wants me to stay in three days a week, I tried to say I had done that last week and he says: I don't need you to defend yourself, ie I am to just listen.
I didn't have his dinner served when he came down from putting our daughter to bed, and he swore and me and said to fucking serve it up,
that I need to toughen up a bit and stop criticising him all the time
He looks at me with such disdain and then twists what I am sayin
Well I have just had another big lecture that took all evening. I still don’t really know what I’ve done wrong, but it veers from being told to not talk and keep silent to being told he has to deal with me ‘acting up’.
I’ve tried having dinner prepared or in the oven when he gets back but I never seem to time it quite right
Earlier I asked him not to have a go at me in front of our daughter
This Christmas they fell out over a couple of silly things really but he is really mad about it and keeps on lecturing me about how mad he is and how we are to limit time with her but increase time with his family
I’ve just listened to a complete angry lecture and I’m starting to feel mentally battered down
He has in the past called me things like a fucking idiot and often says the things I say in my defence are ridiculous or ludicrous.
I have really supported him over the years with problems he has had with gambling and binge drinking
he points out my parenting faults in front of our daughter
He jabs his fingers around to make his point and that's all I can focus on
Today he spent the afternoon in the pub at a work meeting and has come back drunk. I didn’t realise he was drunk, it used to be a big issue in our relationship, he’d get drunk and be nasty and had problems with gambling.
He has booked a weekend away for us next week for his birthday. Then tonight he said he wants us to spend the day we have there with the friend he’s just got drunk with who will also be there
He says I shoot down all his ideas to meet up with his friends and family and that he will stop me from having friends to visit (very rare). He said this is the reason he won’t have sex with me!
The reason I don’t like doing things with his family is that he becomes bolshy and verbally abusive after seeing them. He will often stop talking to me after we have spent time with them.
He threatened to leave if we didn’t meet this friend
He makes a lot of comments about being the sole earner and how it’s his money I’m spending