Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Embarrassed to be posting again

33 replies

BayTiger · 29/08/2019 01:12

Hi I’ve posted before about my relationship. I’ve been given lots of great advice already but I’m still at the stage where I need people to tell me this isn’t right. I have rung WA as advised, I spoke to them 3 times and was also told that this is emotional abuse and was advised to keep a diary.

Well lately my husband has been out a lot more which has meant I don’t get much of a break as a SAHM. He spends a lot of the weekend napping although will come out with us one afternoon of the weekend.

So it’s hard for me to have a break or do any things on my to do list. He mainly plays with our child for a little while while I’m busy doing another task.

Our toddler sometimes doesn’t eat much so I’m following advice from the HV. This involves only eating in the kitchen and not making a big deal of it if she won’t eat. My husband is extremely anxious about it and tries to spoon food into her mouth when she doesn’t want it, he told her that if she loved me she would eat her food. He sits her in front of the TV to eat whereas I’m letting her watch a programme after finishing her food. He feels I don’t try hard enough to make her eat.

I decided to be firm after hearing him make that comment about eating her food if she loved me, and take over all her mealtimes and bedtime, as she often has trouble sleeping.

I thought he’d be pleased as he was so tired with her night waking. I’ve managed to get her sleeping much better and mealtimes are more relaxed.

My husband obvioudly feels mad about this, he said I have taken away any role he had. This was mainly giving her breakfast one weekend morning, so I explained it’s short term so she can have a consistent approach rather than mixed messages. I’ve suggested that he come out with us rather than sleeybut he won’t.,Anything I say he has an answer for or turns it back onto me.

He has recently been out more, Friday he was out late and spent loads of money, spent all day Saturday in bed and then went out last night till late. I tried talking to him today to say it’s not right and that I’m not really getting any kind of break and we need the money he’s spending.

It’s often last minute and I’ll get a text once he’s been drinking for a bit. He did apologise but turned it around to being about me taking away his role

I think the underlying thing is that he would like another child but he wants to use a surrogate as I can’t have a baby now. I don’t want to do this and I feel he is deeply angry subconsciously. He has said I’m being really selfish and unsupportive to deny him this when he is able to have a child. I’m now confused as to whether I am being wrong to deny him this.

I’ve got so muddled about it all and I do take on board all the advice I’ve been given. I just said to him that I feel he always criticises me and he said I have a pathology in my brain that makes me think everyone is criticising me. I have been through a lot the past few years and now am isolated in the sense I have very few people I can talk to. Hence me posting here again I suppose, I really do appreciate the support.

This is my old thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3636575-Shocked-at-husband-s-drunk-rant

OP posts:
BayTiger · 29/08/2019 01:21

Ps I don’t mean to be unkind about my husband by posting. He has been really nice, the old him, the last couple of weeks, but it never lasts. I just find it all hard to make sense of.

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 29/08/2019 02:24

It's obviously not a happy situation that you are in. I haven't read your other post at all, just this one. But your husband is not being fair to you,and seems like a part time husband really. It's as though he is playing the Daddy thing.as and when he feels like it, and disregarding your efforts to be the good Mum.

I am not sure what you can do about all things, as don't know about all your home circumstances etc, but you are upset enough to post on here. But hope things will improve for you soon.

springydaff · 29/08/2019 02:24

So the Freedom Programme.

Do it now. Go along to a group (don't tell him what you're doing!).

This will get your head straight really quickly.

You have to keep plugging away at this to finally get on top of it. Well done for talking to Womens Aid xx

noweddingforme · 29/08/2019 03:49

You say he wants another child - he’s not looking after the one he’s got! What would happen if you decided to go out all next weekend?

ShatnersWig · 29/08/2019 08:10

I knew this would be you as soon as I saw the title.

You've put a link to your "old thread" but let's be totally honest and upfront and blunt. That's one of many threads going back over years. You name changed in 2018 because you were embarrassed to be writing again on this subject. Yet, here you are again.

I can only repeat what I have said before. You are not confused. You know precisely what's going on, because on every thread you've had you've been told. Your husband is an abusive arsehole. You should leave. You should ring Women's Aid (which apparently you did at last and they've confirmed what we've all been saying).

You KNOW the truth. It's like you hope someone will come along and tell you "actually, it's OK you staying really, it's not a big deal". No one is going to say that.

We've told you before about doing the Freedom Programme. Again, we're telling you. Maybe you'll do it this time.

Everyone who wants to comment on this may like to know precisely what this bloke of yours gets up to, so here are your other threads under your current name:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3344326-I-dont-trust-my-perceptions
23 Aug 2018

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3367047-Confused-and-upset
16 Sept 2018

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3484970-Confused-again
20 Jan 2019

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3526383-Confused-again-like-a-bad-penny
6 March 2019

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3619350-Sad-and-isolated
22 June 2019

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3619373-Feeling-sad
23 June 2019

We've been telling you for years to leave. What you've mentioned on here is barely the tip of an iceberg. If you can't do it for you, do it for your child who doesn't deserve to be brought up in a home where her father emotionally (and that's minimising it) abuses her mother. You do realise they will grow up thinking that is normal behaviour? Is that what you want for your child?

There is only so long we can be supportive and repeat ourselves time and time again and nothing change. You really now need to stand up and sort this out.

Livelovelearn1 · 29/08/2019 11:01

I have just read through the old posts... i makes me so sad that a man can absolutely break down their wife to the point she is just a shell of a person that has no voice and no confidence. For a man to be able to brainwash a person into thinking they are the problem, they are to blame, they are weak . To the point when a woman is ,after years of it, still trying to reason in her head that the outbursts and behaviours are called for, that somehow she is responsible for them and could do some things to avoid them. And it makes me even sadder to see that people will fall for it and actually not want to see the problem for years. I know abused people get ground down to pulp and its extremely difficult to gather the courage to leave. But you are in denial. And nobody can help you or your little dd unless you step up. Breaks my heart that you think and care so little about yourself and your daughter by proxy. You are in dire need of therapy.
I hope you find the strenght to stand up and take charge of your life soon before its too late. Acceptance of the severity of your situation needs to come first and for what i read you're still tryin to minimise and excuse this mans behaviour. Its heartbreaking .

ChristmasFluff · 29/08/2019 11:22

You really need to understand that however much you 'work' you will not turn a crocodile into a kitten.

You are being eaten by a crocodile. It's just a question of how much of you will be eaten away before you realise that petting it, lecturing it, prescribing to it, counselling it, calling it a kitten and acting as if it is a kitten isn't going to stop it , and you need to get away.

Which is what everyone else has said, but the image sometimes helps. He is what he is, and even if he cannot help it, that doesn't make any difference. For all we know, crocodiles may wish they could be kittens. Doesn't change the fact it's never going to happen.

The crocodile is nibbling on your child now. Do it for her if you cannot do it for you.

BayTiger · 29/08/2019 23:25

Thank you, I will aim to do the Freedom Programme and am planning to seek counselling.
I will focus now on sorting things out, starting with counselling, rather than posting about them.

It is quite a bad set of threads seeing them all collected together, though I must say I didn’t ever post any others about this topic under a different name or before 2018.

Thank you all so much for the kindness and patience with me.

OP posts:
user764329056 · 29/08/2019 23:38

Gosh OP, that’s a litany of sadness, you and your daughter deserve so much better but nothing changes if nothing changes, I hope you find the strength to set the wheels in motion for your freedom and a better future, your present seems so bleak

Sunflowers211 · 30/08/2019 00:06

Omg I remember the thread where your twat of a husband was swearing at you over not serving his dinner!

Why have you not listened to anything we have said?

Why are you still with him?

ShatnersWig · 30/08/2019 07:58

BayTiger Apologies if you hadn't posted about your man before the 23 Aug 2018 but as you began with "I have namechanged" there was always the possibility.

It is a bad set of threads. I told you on one of them that you needed to go back and read all your previous threads to appreciate just how bad your situation was to show you that no matter what you were saying, the responses were all the same, every time. That you needed to leave. That perhaps that might finally make you realise you needed to do something. But it didn't.

And I have the distinct feeling it won't again this time. I'd really love you to prove me wrong. You don't deserve this, but you have a choice. You are CHOOSING to remain in this situation. Your DD doesn't have a choice. You are making it for her. You are choosing for her to live with someone who abuses her mother and may well abuse her as she gets older. You are choosing for her to become normalised to men treating women badly. You are choosing for her to potentially end up in the same situation as you are now.

Be a good mother to your DD and get out.

AMAM8916 · 30/08/2019 12:19

I'll be honest, this thread (I haven't read the other) doesn't sound like abuse to me. It sounds like two people who can't agree on anything, one spending more time out of the house because of this and two people that don't have the same goals in life (one wants another child and one doesn't).

He sounds depressed and you sound fed up. It would probably be best to end it and no offense, stop using up resources like women's aid then keep staying

MrsSiriusBlack1 · 30/08/2019 12:33

I’ve read the other threads and by god your husband is an abusive horrible excuse of a man, please try and get the courage to leave.
You and your daughter deserve to be happy and safe and that means getting away from him.
Best of luck to you op Flowers

GiveMeHope103 · 30/08/2019 12:44

Op you do realise that you are putting an abusive person before your dd.? I'm sorry to be harsh but it seems like what you want comes before her as you know full well the extent of his abuse.

chocpop · 30/08/2019 12:54

OP, you need to leave.

I have so much sympathy for you but only you can get yourself out of this. Do you really want to be posting about this for the next 5 years?

I don't think anyone can say anything new here, especially with how many threads that have gone before this one. You need to make a decision and go with it.

Option 1: you leave
Freedom, space, independence. You do all the childcare anyway so you'd be no worse off. Your child grows up in a warm, loving environment. You eventually meet a new partner who respects you.

Option 2: you stay
Misery, arguments, emotional abuse. You lose more of yourself and become a shell. You're forced into accepting a surrogate pregnancy and have two children to look after. You're a SAHM with no friends or hobbies. The abuse may well become physical. Your child grows up in a shit home and later resents for for not leaving.

What do you want?

Lipz · 30/08/2019 13:59

You only get one life, this is not a practice run.

What I have posted below is a small snippett of your life, I have only picked a few things out, there is ALOT more.

Is this how you want to live for the rest of your life ?

Is this the future you want for you and your dd ? Do you want your dd to learn this behaviour ? do you want your dd to end up with issues when she becomes an adult ? years of therapy ? Mental illness ? If she came to you right now as an adult with the list I have posted below, what would you say to her ?

-----------------------

I don’t get much of a break as a SAHM.

He spends a lot of the weekend napping

he told her that if she loved me she would eat her food.

Friday he was out late and spent loads of money, spent all day Saturday in bed and then went out last night till late

we need the money he’s spending

He has said I’m being really selfish and unsupportive to deny him this

he always criticises me and he said I have a pathology in my brain that makes me think everyone is criticising me.

The two people I’ve spoken to at women’s aid also said the same and suggested he may have narcissistic traits.

He has just had a big rant at me about how my job is to make sure she eats and sleeps and I’m not doing that

I told him this and he said I was a bitch

I’ve also noticed that he will do the opposite of what the health visitor has advised

It was similar in the winter where he would have the heating on but leave the door to the room open. In the past we have always shut it to keep the warmth in as our house gets cold. I kept reminding him to close it but he wouldn’t. We got a huge gas bill. Then when we stopped needing the heating on he started closing the door again!

He’s got really mad and says I’m stubborn and defensive and has made me agree to have a cleaner.

I feel I’m always being lectured on my communication problems and stubbornness and defensiveness

I’m not quite good enough at keeping the house up to scratch and it makes me feel humiliated.

He’s been lecturing me for the past hour about how I’m failing our daughter for not getting her eating well, failing her because she is not sleeping enough hours and failing her because she tries to bite me sometimes and bit another child.. Because he’s at work I’m the one to blame.

He jabs his finger at me and looks so angry. He constantly says I’m defensive and stubborn

he kept telling me to go away and that I sounded crazy and nuts and turned the light off.

He has ordered me out of the room saying I sound nuts and says he is staying in a hotel tomorrow. Before if I cried would give me a hug.
He just says he doesn’t care and that I should go away and think about what I’ve said

Yesterday I was talking too much and he said he wanted silence.

He has such an angry look on his face and said I’m unbearable
he says I sound nuts and paranoid

Today he has told me that I’m difficult and cause him stress

If I ask him questions about anything I’m grilling him

last night he suddenly lectured me out of nowhere about the fact I cause all this drama and it needs to stop

Instead of backing me up he says I am lying and takes every opportunity to do the exact opposite which has resulted in the small issues becoming a lot worse!

He constantly asks me to explain what I am doing and argues that it is wrong.

I’ve noticed the latest thing my husband is saying is that I’m paranoid and controlling if I challenge him on anything and then I start to try and defend myself and then he will sternly tell me to stop

he is always tired and has lots of naps at the weekend and won’t really come out

I said jokingly ‘you’re always tired’ and he’s got so mad he’s threatened to leave

I feel like I have to be so careful about what I say, said I am a bit crazy and unable to communicate like an adult and he can’t deal with me

He has threatened to leave me and basically questioned whether he is even attracted to me

He says I lack the emotional intelligence

Well I’m pretty sure that the ‘argument’ was caused on purpose to justify a late night out drinking

He feels I go out with our daughter too much and wants me to stay in three days a week, I tried to say I had done that last week and he says: I don't need you to defend yourself, ie I am to just listen.

I didn't have his dinner served when he came down from putting our daughter to bed, and he swore and me and said to fucking serve it up,

that I need to toughen up a bit and stop criticising him all the time

He looks at me with such disdain and then twists what I am sayin

Well I have just had another big lecture that took all evening. I still don’t really know what I’ve done wrong, but it veers from being told to not talk and keep silent to being told he has to deal with me ‘acting up’.

I’ve tried having dinner prepared or in the oven when he gets back but I never seem to time it quite right

Earlier I asked him not to have a go at me in front of our daughter

This Christmas they fell out over a couple of silly things really but he is really mad about it and keeps on lecturing me about how mad he is and how we are to limit time with her but increase time with his family

I’ve just listened to a complete angry lecture and I’m starting to feel mentally battered down

He has in the past called me things like a fucking idiot and often says the things I say in my defence are ridiculous or ludicrous.

I have really supported him over the years with problems he has had with gambling and binge drinking

he points out my parenting faults in front of our daughter

He jabs his fingers around to make his point and that's all I can focus on

Today he spent the afternoon in the pub at a work meeting and has come back drunk. I didn’t realise he was drunk, it used to be a big issue in our relationship, he’d get drunk and be nasty and had problems with gambling.

He has booked a weekend away for us next week for his birthday. Then tonight he said he wants us to spend the day we have there with the friend he’s just got drunk with who will also be there

He says I shoot down all his ideas to meet up with his friends and family and that he will stop me from having friends to visit (very rare). He said this is the reason he won’t have sex with me!

The reason I don’t like doing things with his family is that he becomes bolshy and verbally abusive after seeing them. He will often stop talking to me after we have spent time with them.

He threatened to leave if we didn’t meet this friend

He makes a lot of comments about being the sole earner and how it’s his money I’m spending

walnut87 · 30/08/2019 14:59

well done for speaking to women’s aid - a huge step when you are feeling so broken.

I had a quick flick through your last threads... I hope you’ve been to your GP and explained this all to them.. if it is too hard to say outloud, perhaps write a letter explaining?

you will get out of this. stay strong and try find a little something of yourself that you can hold onto - doing your makeup extra nicely, painting your nails, listening to your favourite music and dancing when he’s not there. little glimmers can turn into something much bigger. keep going.

FloatingObject · 30/08/2019 15:17

What is it that's stopping you from leaving?

crappyday2018 · 30/08/2019 16:11

Hi OP, I do think you need some tough love now and I totally agree with Shatner. How many times are you going to post before you actually take some of the advice? What do you hope to gain from this post, that is different from the others? Are you hoping someone will come along and say "hey its not that bad, you can work through this" because that aint gonna happen.
You will ALWAYS be told to leave him. Every. Single. Time.
This man is a disgrace and you deserve much better, and so does your daughter. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for her.

MsDogLady · 30/08/2019 17:54

In January I called your husband a cruel, sadistic abuser, as it was obvious that he enjoys brutalizing and diminishing you. I was very concerned that your daughter was being harmed by this toxic environment and that he would inevitably target her. He has.

Physically force-feeding and emotionally manipulating/guilting your daughter to eat is abusive. Likewise, his incessant bullying of you will be having a detrimental effect on her well-being.

Please do not bend to his pressure to use a surrogate so that he can have a biological child to continue his bloodline.

@BayTiger, you must be proactive in getting yourself and your child away from this cruel man.

lovemenorca · 30/08/2019 17:57

I feel for you

However have I read this correctly - you are stopping him from having any involvement in your child’s mealtimes and bedtime?

Damn right I’m not surprised he’s upset about that, even if it was only at weekends and bedtimes

lovemenorca · 30/08/2019 17:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ShatnersWig · 30/08/2019 18:05

@lovemenorca The OP is controlling????? I recommend you read all her previous threads before coming here posting that bollocks.

lovemenorca · 30/08/2019 18:08

Have you read this OP

Because in this one she is preventing her husband from being involved in mealtimes and bedtimes

Livelovelearn1 · 30/08/2019 20:00

@lovemenorca your comments on this thread are aiding an abuser. You are contributing to the confusion, doubts and feelings of inadequacy and low selfsteem of a woman does has been abused for years.
You go girl. Petty, pathetic and sad behavior.

Swipe left for the next trending thread