Asked me for help, told him where to go.

[ChickenTikkaTellMeWhatsWrong]

My ex is going abroad in October with our 2 DC, his GF (of 8 months) and her 2 DC.
Our split was sort of amicable, (I was still devastated, still am in a way) although he had taken me for granted alot through out 15 year relationship and called me some horrible names.

I was a little upset when he told me they were all going away, as we had never been abroad before and he was doing alot of nice things for his GF which he had never done for me.
Anyway, as the months have gone on, I'm getting there; however I told him don't be asking me to help you towards your holiday (as I know what he's like) I've given him half for the kids passports, but that's all.

I start university next month and I have been given a student loan. For the third time now he has asked if I can lend him £400 when I get it and he'll give me £600 back.
I've said no, because it's for the holiday and why the hell should I lend you money for that (he's paying for the whole holiday himself, over £3000) he said it's for bills as work's slowed down a bit. I know his mum's partner has loaned him money to pay the rest of his holiday off.

He says I'm being petty, as our kids are going on holiday so I should think of them, but I think I'm doing the right thing.

Anyway I wanted an outsiders opinion, am I right?

Sorry it's so long

@Moondancer73 he been paying it regularly for the last few weeks, but if he starts saying he can't afford it again, I'll go down that route.

Tell him when he invents a time machine, goes back and saves the money he spent on his motorbike, and then takes you on a holiday abroad you'll be glad to lend him the money! 😂😂😂

If it's such a great deal, one of his friends or a member of his family would surely be happy to oblige.

How does he even know you have money coming in? Or does he not know, is just tapping you up anyway to see what happens?

@beenwhereyouare 🤣🤣 that made me laugh, I like your thinking.

@tribpot he's had to lend money off his mums partner to pay the rest of the holiday (not sure how much) I'm still close to his mum as she had told him that he shouldn't of even booked a holiday in the first place until he was sorted. He doesn't even have a bed, he sleeps either at his GF's or on his couch 🙈
His mum said no to lending him money too, but the only reason her partner did was because he had told the boys about the holiday.

@tribpot he works night shifts at the moment, so sometimes he will pop down to see the kids for a little bit before he goes, so one particular day I had got the letter and I'd left it on the side and he saw it.

You didn’t ask him to take the kids on holiday. He should’ve budgeted correctly. Not your problem. Why isn’t his gf helping him out!? You’re not his partner to help him pay bills or their holiday!

@Londongirl07 He says she has no money

At least the CF isn’t all bad!

But he’s an absolute fool spending such a lot of money on a holiday when he doesn’t even have basic furniture etc.

I’m glad you realise you’re better off without him. Doesn’t always make it easy, but it’s a good start!!

His step dad is enabling him. If he had said no CF could have taken your DC on a cheaper holiday, or got the Gf to contribute - he didn’t enable the children to gonin holiday, he enabled CF to impress the very new GF. 🙄🙄

You’ve done VERY well since separating, you should be proud of yourself!!😊🌷

And suppose he didn't pay it back? You would be left in severe financial embarrassment. Which of course wouldn't be his problem

You are absolutely right not to lend him the money

What a cheeky bugger. His choice, his mess to sort

@IncrediblySadToo yeah I think so too, it's obviously to impress her.
Thank you for your kind words, they mean alot!

@Anniegetyourgun I know he would give me it back, but it would be in dribs and drabs. And to be honest I could use that money towards getting my children presents for their birthday and Christmas rather then for his 'bills'

Don’t even think about it. How insensitive and insulting to you. Be ready for when he asks you to buy DC new clothes, pay for the taxi to the airport, travel insurance etc ..... all a big fat “No. Not possible”

Well done to you for starting your course - and one day soon you will have you holiday.

@CIareIsland funny you should say that, as when I said no about the bills, he said well will you at least pay for the other passport and clothes for the kids and when I said no, he said well you're gonna use the passports and the kids clothes if you go away. They go away in October and he hasn't sorted their passports out yet, he did ask me a few weeks ago if I'd get their pics done, but again said no you need to sort it. Thank you

You are totally right. If you were so inclined to spend that money you should spend it on a holiday for YOU and the dc. He can fund his own.

Good for you. You will need your money for your time with the kids. Summer clothes holiday clothes arent going to be good in autumn in the uk. His choice to go on holiday not yours or your dc. Just make sure the dc have suitable travel insurance just in case.

Good for you. If he pulls the think of the kids you can smile sweetly and say I think of them all the time.

@fluffyjumper I'll make sure he does get good insurance, thank you.

Cheeky bastard. If you had money, you'd be taking the kids away yourself!

@ChickenTikkaTellMeWhatsWrong if she has no money that’s not your problem either 😂 he seems ridiculous does he actually think he can go to his ex to bail him out???? You’re no longer together there are no privileges like that anymore. He chose to be with a woman who has no money and wants to show off by buying a holiday...he’s something special

Well done you for getting rid of him, he seems a waste of space!

Quick update:
He asked again!! I took all the advice from here saying how disrespectful it was to even ask me this question. He said he's asked everyone everyone and tried to get loans, but nothing.
Turns out he still owes one final payment for the holiday (just over £600) also needs to by the other passport and clothes for the kids and also has bills so he won't be able to pay all at the same time.
Alot of people had asked why can't his girlfriend pay, so I asked and he said she can't afford it, but has a credit union loan which she can get in october (for spends). He was also banging on how he won't have no money for bills while he's away either due to not working.
After listening to all this, I said you're keeping a pretence with your GF about this holiday and he admitted he was, so told him there is no way I'm giving him any money and that he needs to get off his cloud and communicate with her as she might have a family member who can help.
Last thing he said to before he took the kids was for me to try and look at it from a different angle, pointing at our children!
Fuck that, he's the one who's taking her away after not even a year together when he never did anything like that for me, and now he's wanting me to help fund it!! And use our children as emotional pawns.....get fucked.

Buy not by ffs