Dp deserves better than me but he won't listen

[OhLookItsThatTime]

I've come to realise that my dp and I are not very well suited.

We have been together 6 years and have 2 children together.

After having our second child I have completely stopped caring for dp.

It sounds very cold and heartless, I know.

I show him no affection and am more happy when he's out at work or just out the house.

I've tried telling him that I want to leave him so he can be with someone who cares for him and loves him but he just brushes it off.

Obviously I don't want to split our family up but it's not fair on me or dp or our children to live in a household where we don't get on.

I feel like he's wasting his life being with me but he just won't listen.
I don't want to just leave him as I want him to understand my reasons first.

How can I make him realise what I'm trying to say?

I get what your saying and of course your intitled to not want to stay in a relationship that doesn't make you happy. But personally I would be deeply insulted that you wanted to leave so I could find a better partner? I would be really annoyed that you thought you know better than me about what I wanted!
You are leaving him cos you want to cos your unhappy and that's totally fine, you need to own your own choices.

You're being very unfair.

If you feel strongly about this then you need to move out so he knows that you're serious. You're being cruel by staying. He can't get over things until you leave. He might want to talk once you've left or he might have enough info already.

I hope that you are behaving like a separated couple and not sleeping in the marital bed, not doing wifey things like touching him and going out on family days out as if things are ok.

I don't want to just leave without him knowing why that would be plain selfish

And possibly cruel.

He DOESN'T have to get on board. Presumably he is an adult, so you sit him down, explain that you would like out, and you leave.

Making him " understand" is mean

Did you tell him that you wouldn't leave until he understood? Many people would not listen so you didn't leave. You're being really unfair to him. Read the accounts of people who had to live with their ex for months after a break up because of money (like me). It's fucking awful and the healing process didn't start until he left because I'd have say 10 hours away from him (who else) then hit with the reminder when he pulled up at night or heard him talking to the kids or whatever. It was like me taking off the plaster every day and having it stuck back on.

You're being very unfair waiting for his permission to leave. You want to leave and that's fine but you can't do it like this so you seem reasonable. You need to do what's best for him.

You realise that as a disabled person, the pool of women who might want to date him will be very small right?

If you care, help him with practicalities like opening him a bank account if he's got a joint one with you, change the name on utilities and council tax etc Your absence may lead to questions later.

Some people probably will judge you negatively for leaving your sick DH and I think you need to just accept this and live your life.