Young lady

[froglin]

Is a man calling a woman 'young lady' ok? Boyfriend keeps calling me this and it's making me feel uneasy. Am I reading into it too much?

I'd be flattered hahaha! Is there much of an age gap between you?

Feels a bit "icky" to me. Quite condescending and demeaning. Is he much older than you? In what contexts does he say it?

I would hate it and left a chap once for making repeated similarly patronising comments.

Yes there is. Maybe that's why it feels a bit wierd.

I don't like it personally. But I think it depends on context.

I hate "girl" as in good girl or any context that refers to me as a girl

Sounds patronising and condescending to me - the sort of thing older male relatives would say when they were trying to scold you. It's a short step to calling you a "little madam".

I quite like it... but it depends on the source and the context. If it was totally non-joky and patronising, i would be looking for equally ridiculous things to call him..."young man" would take the wind out of his sails given that he is older than you.

I am feeling a bit patronised but maybe I deserve that. I am worried it's a sign of something dysfunctional about our relationship and the way he sees me. Too confused to tell so I was wondering how other people would feel about this.

Have you told him you dint like it?

Why do you deserve to be patronised?

You don't 'deserve' to be called anything you don't like. Especially by your SO. If you don't like it. Tell him. If he objects then you know he really does look down on you and doesn't respect your opinion. It sounds condescending to me. Unless he just means it in a jokey way?

Are you going out with Curtis from Love Island?

My DP used to say it to me playfully/to wind me up a bit. I started calling him "lad" and "young man" back and he soon stopped. I was a young lady when we met to be fair but I still didn't like the tone

Not everything needs to be a fight, sometimes you can thrash out differences with humour.

I was called madam today, so I now feel really old ... lol

What's his job? Don't say teacher

I wouldn’t be keen on hearing it often. However, if you haven’t told him that you don’t like it then we can’t really tell you he’s being unreasonable

Ha I was going to ask if it’s was Curtis too

He would stop if I told him. I will. Just thinking about how to approach this.

signedup um yes it is

Unless it was a mutually acknowledged amusing joke with a recognised reference to a film/ book/ something someone said... (Not a defensive "I was trying to be funny" when called out) I'd find that so incredibly cringingly creepy and patronising that I wouldn't be able to have any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with someone who called me that, whether I was young or not.

Yuck.

Next time he says it, just say ‘can you please stop calling me that because it’s making me feel like you’re talking down to me a little bit’
Don’t overthink it. It doesn’t have to cause an argument

He doesn't see you as an equal.

I've heard of more men calling their oh 'my old woman' than young lady 🤣 i dont mind it....hes prob been taught to say it by his mother as i say it to my 5yr old son.....let the young lady go first etc?

Next time he says it, just tell him you don't like it. You shouldn't be feeling like it's something you can't raise with him if you're in an equal relationship with a reasonable man. I'm worried that you feel like you might deserve to be patronised though. Why would you say that?

He would stop if I told him. I will. Just thinking about how to approach this.

What do you mean 'how to approach this'?

Do neither of you chat to each other?

"Oh DP I can't stand it when you call me that"

"Really? OK I'll stop doing it then"

End of story, surely?