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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ex wants me to sign CB over to him

61 replies

KindnessIsNotWeakness · 21/08/2019 21:21

Ex messaged me today to ask me to transfer the child benefit of our Son to him because he wants to reduce the amount he has to pay in maintenance for his daughter (who he’s going through court for access to at the moment) she is 2. He said he will pay me back the amount I will loose.

I’ve told him no because it protects my NI - also it feels wrong that he is doing that to get out of what he should be paying for his daughter,

He pays me £20 a month for our son & the split is 60/40.

Would there be any other implications of doing that?

OP posts:
LemonAddict · 21/08/2019 21:23

It’s a NO, so surely it doesn’t matter about other implications- you’re not doing it?

dementedpixie · 21/08/2019 21:24

If your ds is with you the most then I'd say no to transferring it

EatDessertFirst · 21/08/2019 21:24

What a prince. You should obviously say no. Why wouldn't you?

TowelNumber42 · 21/08/2019 21:25

Why would you even contemplate agreeing to this?

CruellaFeinberg · 21/08/2019 21:26

He pays you £20 a month? Well he's a fucking catch!

ILE35 · 21/08/2019 21:26

Tell him to jog on!

NoBaggyPants · 21/08/2019 21:27

Are you sure he's not trying to get the old child related benefits too? That's the usual reason for transferring CB.

You're doing the right thing. Keep the CB in your name.

gamerchick · 21/08/2019 21:27

No, especially if you get any other benefits for your child. CB is a gateway benefit I think and it means he can claim other things.

Just don't do it, it'll be a ballache to switch it back

PicsInRed · 21/08/2019 21:28

He wants to try to frame himself as primary caregiver to your son.

The answer to his query is "No".

Or "get to fuck" would also work.

NeedingAdvice29 · 21/08/2019 21:28

That’s technically benefit fraud is it not? CB is for the resident parent of the child, because that child lives with them the most and CB is there to help towards anything a child needs. If he’s not the main carer of your child then he isn’t eligible for it

Aderyn19 · 21/08/2019 21:29

Don't do anything which enables this sleaze to dodge his financial obligations to his children. And go back to the CSA and get more than the pathetic £20 per month

dementedpixie · 21/08/2019 21:30

That's not necessarily true. The other parent could claim if they are making contributions equal to or more than the CB amount. I still wouldn't do it though

Flooglebob · 21/08/2019 21:32

What are you supposed to do with a fiver a week?

AtAmber · 21/08/2019 21:33

Are you getting housing benefit? You will lose a bedroom requirement if your child benefit stops so HB would reduce. Is he trying to get it for the same reason, to increase his HB?

Original poster
KindnessIsNotWeakness · 21/08/2019 21:35

We’ve got an informal agreement - so never been to court or through CSA.

One of my worries is that he could make out he’s the primary parent and take me to court for more days with my son - use it against me that I’ve signed it over.

I also think it is fraud.

Nether of use is eligible for any additional benefits.

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 21/08/2019 21:36

Tell him to jog on ....

EmmiJay · 21/08/2019 21:36

The obvious answer here is no🥴 £20 a month?! Flippin cheeky.

Starlight456 · 21/08/2019 21:37

Then ignore .

SquintEastwood · 21/08/2019 21:38

I wouldn't do it either, you presumably cover the majority of the costs and care involved in your sons upbringing so you are entitled to any associated financial support.

There would be no guarantee or legal obligation for him to pay you what you would be signing over to him so you would most likely never see a penny of it either.

The situation with his DD should not have any implications on your/your DS' life so don't let him guilty trip you with that bullshit.

dementedpixie · 21/08/2019 21:38

It's not actually fraud.

You’ll usually be responsible for a child if you live with them or you’re paying at least the same amount as Child Benefit (or the equivalent in kind) towards looking after them.

Contributions can include:

money
clothes
Birthday and Christmas presents
food
pocket money

Sally2791 · 21/08/2019 21:38

Go through CMS and get what you are legally entitled to, do not sign CB over to him.

cacklingmags · 21/08/2019 21:43

He is a stingy creep. No, no and no.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 21/08/2019 21:44

Never mind bloody 'jog on', tell him to fuck piss off. And go to the CMS, too.

user1471547789 · 21/08/2019 21:44

When my DP was going through a divorce we found that whoever was claiming the CB was entitled to claim CSA from the other parent so I would hold onto it if I were you!

ColaFreezePop · 21/08/2019 21:44

OP whether he gets the CB or not he could take you to court to get more days with your son. Whether the judge would agree if this is in the boy's best interests is a different matter.

I know split couples where the parent who isn't the main carer gets the CB.

Anyway the money is for your son and as he spends more time with you, you would be a fool to sign it over.