Ex wants me to sign CB over to him

[KindnessIsNotWeakness]

Ex messaged me today to ask me to transfer the child benefit of our Son to him because he wants to reduce the amount he has to pay in maintenance for his daughter (who he’s going through court for access to at the moment) she is 2. He said he will pay me back the amount I will loose.

I’ve told him no because it protects my NI - also it feels wrong that he is doing that to get out of what he should be paying for his daughter,

He pays me £20 a month for our son & the split is 60/40.

Would there be any other implications of doing that?

If he threatens to withhold your son then it should be in court anyway. It's not really surprising he's in already in court for access over his daughter. He's probably threatened her too.

For £20 a month? He can jog the hell on.

Good for you . It is amazing how many men are going to give up work , lose their houses but yet then end up with new phones, cars , nice holidays

The reason it’s £20 is basically due to threats on his part in the past to with hold my Son & going through court would not be worth the money & stress on my part. You need to get this sorted. My ex was a massive piss taking narcissist and he still paid me more than that. He did arse about and pay late, withhold payments etc. I eventually went to the CMS and because he was self employed and not declaring a large majority of his earnings, they were useless. If your ex is salaried, he won't be able to get out of anything. Keep correspondence limited to email contact, so you have all the evidence of threats etc and if it does go to court (which it won't, because he'll get pulled up on this in mediation), you'll have all the evidence and he won't have a leg to stand on. Your child deserves to be financially provided for by both parents and you deserve to not have to shoulder the full financial burden alone, as the father is earning and healthy. There is no excuse for his behaviour. Don't allow him to control you and call the shots. He's your ex. You owe him nothing.

Definitely NO. No way should you sign over CB. Please don’t.

i wouldn't do anything to help him if he's paying you a paltry £20. what a waste of space!

i hope you replied with a simple LOL NO

I very much doubt the story about potentially losing his house is true. Even if it is, he's saying it's ok for him not to support his kids, and for them to do without, so he gets to continue his current lifestyle. Do you think that's fine? I don't.

Log the threats with the police, go through CMS, consider if you can make contact with the daughter's mum if it could be amicable - a bit of mutual support could be helpful.

No. Don’t do this.

If you are worried about his reaction, tell him that you went to Citizen’s Advice and they told you not to do it.

That should put the wind up him!

If he's potentially going to be homeless his court application won't be successful surely?