DP spotted somewhere he shouldn't be

[girlfromspace]

I've namechanged for this

So my friend just told me she saw my DP at a bus stop in a nearby town to us early one morning

She can't remember the morning but it was last week, there is one morning last week i wasn't with him at the time

My partner drives so cant think why he would be at a bus stop

My mind has immediately gone to something untoward, there were issues at the very beginning of our relationship with trust so it's not out of the question

The problem is I have nothing to say when it actually was, she swears it was him but even if he was up to no good it doesn't make any sense why he would be at a bus stop that anyone included me could have seen him at!

I feel sick I have such a bad feeling but what can I do?

He would die before admitting something to me if he thought he could get away with it I know that for sure so there's no point in asking him without anything solid! 😩

Check his phone google maps history thing?

Sounds like a case of mistaken identity to me.

I stopped at a bus stop the other week to pick up a work colleague, it was only when I wound down the window to shout hi I realised it wasn't her. I agree with PP mistaken identity.

Where was he supposed to be that morning?

Do you live together? Were you with him the previous evening?

What do you mean he 'shouldn't' be there?
Unless he's breaching his bail conditions, tag or a restraining order, why is it a problem?

Mistaken identity I would think. Easily done.

@weezol there's no need to be pedantic, I would have thought it was quite clear from what I said that I meant as far as I know he was at a different place, he is free to move around as he pleases but I am obviously going to be suspicious if he is somewhere totally different and totally odd to where he has told me he is.

No I wasn't with him the previous night, so let's say it was Tuesday early morning they claim to have seen him, he was at work all day Monday and then I did a night shift Monday night so we didn't see each other all Monday until I came home mid morning Tuesday.

They are 100% sure it was him and they know him fairly well

It just doesn't make any sense at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have a 'double' who lives somewhere in my local area. Friends have sworn blind that they saw me somewhere I wasn't, even complaining that I'd ignored them when they waved at me.

I would guess mistaken identity. Is there anything other than this sighting that's making you worry he's up to something? Any changes in behaviour or anything like that?

Why do you think he wouldn’t have his car with him?

Can you mention it in passing, “friend saw the complete double of you at the bus stop on X road the other day, she swore blind it was you but you were at X so you must have a twin living in the area lol” and see his reaction.

Could he have gone out drinking the night before (hence no car) and then stayed somewhere then be getting the bus back the next morning? Question being, why didn’t he tell you?

What do you mean he 'shouldn't' be there?
Unless he's breaching his bail conditions, tag or a restraining order, why is it a problem?

I think it's quite obvious what the op is implying. He doesn't live there so was leaving in the morning having possibly spent the night with someone he isn't in a relationship with.

Can you access his car? May have a bus ticket in there....
He obviously didn't want to have his car seen anywhere it 'shouldn't' have been.
My car mad ds saw a work colleague's dh's car somewhere it shouldn't have been. He denied it of course.
He was having an affair.
WC was in denial for a long time.
She shagged his mate to cheer herself up!!
Can you see a bank statement for that day?

Just the other day, I swore black as blue to my Dad that my Uncle, his brother, was parked outside my home. Swore it, my dad was adamant it wasn't him, he was on holiday. Nearly got into a row about it because I swore it was, in the same car and everything.

Until the same man was parked there again the next day,waiting to pick up a neighbour, and it wasn't my Uncle at all.

It's a very easy mistake to make, so I'd tread carefully before throwing him under the bus (no pun intended).

Could well be a case of mistaken identity.
Seems a bit strange that he would be at a bus stop when he drives.
Unless he'd been drinking and had to stay at a friend's and then in the morning got the bus back to where the car was parked.

If you're suggesting he might have been staying with some woman, it seems bizarre that he would take a bus. You were at work after all so no reason why he couldn't drive and then drive back again in the morning before you came home from night shift.

Though why don't you just ask him?

It might just be mistaken identity.

Someone I know looks very much like me, said person has done some very unpleasant things, I have had received abuse from people who think I am him.

Try not to get yourself worked up, it doesn’t do anyone any good.

Your friend needs to remember what day it was before you can try and prove anything, there must be a way she can jog her memory!

I was in a bar the other night and could have sworn I saw a friends boyfriend with another woman until I went on Instagram and saw them at home having a movie night together. It’s very easily done.

Yes be a bit open to mistaken identity. I had quite a job to persuade a woman at the bus stop that I am not called Jules and didn’t spend Christmas with them 3 years ago at Jo’s house.

She was very adamant for a long time that I was and that I had.Apparently my doppelganger lives further down the road from me, also has a teenage son had a dog and might explain why a few friends have seen me when they haven’t if you see what I mean.

Well either way, you don't sound like you have much trust for your boyfriend. Is it worth continuing anyway?

Just ask him. It seems fairly simple to resolve rather than you spending more time agonising over something that is likely just your friend making a mistake.

I used to get identified in places I wasn’t. Just mistaken identity
(I hope that’s the case for you too)

When I was with my ex, his sister said she saw me in a town I'd never been to, but I was at work miles away!

She swore it was me and we all had a bit of a falling out about it. It was ridiculous! I even got a few work colleagues to vouch for me.

My bf did believe me eventually but his sister was so suspicious of me for the next view years. I'd done nothing wrong!

There are doubles out there. I wouldn't assume your friend is definitely right.