Marriage break up husband moaning about money.

[Novemberrain77]

My husband walked out on me and kids last weekend . He said I made him miserable and he didn't fancy me anymore. For years on and off we have put up with his bad temper. Punching holes in doors and going mental over small things. Things were getting better but this year got worse. He said lots in anger . He keeps moaning how he will now have to pay 2 sets of bills and pay mortgage on our house and rent for himself. When he bought house he didn't put my name on it.one Christmad he just sat in recliner for most of the holiday while I ran about like an idiot. I told him to go . He went to his mum's and text me saying what a good mum and wife I am and he took me for granted. He said so I feel better he will put my name on house. He never did:( I have got a form coming to complete to stop him selling house before youngest is 18. He keeps moaning about money and how he has lost everything. He is the one that refused anger management and marriage guidance. He is the one that walked out. Me and kids feel better and like a weight lifted from our shoulders. My 2 eldest who are mine from a previous said they don't have to walk in eggshells. My three youngest who I have with my husband haven't noticed the difference because after work he would have dinner get in shower and bed. Despite all this I cannot help but feel sorry for him . Even though I use to cry and he would shout " why are you balling ". Anyone else had ex paying for both ? I work from home and of course doing my bit best I can. I can't go to an office job again until my youngest at school.

Who said he cannot sell the house? Do you have a court ordered mesher ( are you in uk?)

I have a piece of paper that I have to fill in and then it says that he can't sell the house until my youngest is 18 but I can't really heard that over to him until we split up otherwise it would just cause a major kick off

I don’t understand what this piece of paper is? If you’re in uk (England at least) a court can Instruck the house is sold as part of a financial settlement or award a mesher which allows you to stay until a certain trigger point is reached
In these cases unless you have a very high earning ex you’re likely to be expected to show that you afford ongoing mortgage ( and mortgage company has to agree). It is very unlikely he’ll be made to keep you in the house and pay for it

I can stay until youngest is 18

He will pay mortgage instead of child maintenance

I work from home and I will have child tax credits and child benefits and obviously I get work tax credits because of my work. And he cannot sell the house until the youngest is 18

You are living in fantasy land. A piece of paper is useless unless it's a court order. Your change in circumstances means you will be moved onto Universal Credit, which you will be by 2023 at the latest, anyway. You need to face reality that it's just as much your job as his to support the children you have together and your job to support the other ones you had previous (and their father's).

You need to see a solicitor. The courts now expect both parents to share in supporting children and often favour 'clean break' which means assets are sold and divided.

Why can’t you answer what this piece of paper is ?

Erm yes i know this . He has agreed he will pay mortgage and I pay all bills etc. Instead of him paying child maintenance. I am also aware of universal credits etc. I have everything covered as spoke to them and told me my options . I am not in fantasy land

I can't remember what the piece of paper called it's in my drawer upstairs in my bedroom it's a form to stop him from selling the house it's what was sent to me and told to do

Matrional form

With all due respect I think you are
I also think he is too as you could claim cms even if agreed privately that he’d pay mortgage in lieu

As stated there are 3 ways to keep the house
I) he agrees and signs it over to you ( maybe paying spousal to help you afford it)
2) court order that he does that and is court ordered to pay the mortgage ( or that you are responsible for all ongoing costs )
3) court awards a mesher outlining who pays and who is awarded what ultimate %

If you are in England unless you have one of these you are not automatically allowed to remain in the house until you are 18

the person with the children is the one that gets to stay in the home I am in the UK and this is what I have been told and there's nothing he can do unless he does for sale of the house then that shows he is a bigger arsehole. end of day I just need advice on whether I'm getting abused or not I just don't know I'm very down thank you for your help

@Novemberrain77 very odd that you have answered this after 5 months

I agree with @millymollymoomoo. That is the advise my solicitor gave me

@Novemberrain77 you are referring to Matrimonial Home Rights

The form you have sounds like the HR1 for matrimonial home rights: this files notice with the land registry that he cannot sell the house without your permission, even though you are not on the deeds. It doesn’t mean you have the right to stay in the house until your child is 18 or that a court couldn’t order it be sold as part of the divorce.

You both need solicitors. Nobody else can tell you what will and won’t happen with the house (and even solicitors can only advise, a judge would make the final decision.) If there aren’t enough assets to support both of you separately, the house will need to be sold, there’s no automatic right for you to retain the house just because you have children. And you really don’t want to be relying on what your ex h says he will do in terms of paying the mortgage instead of child support - file a claim with the CMS and start thinking about realistic financial outcomes.

Which is registering your interest in a property with the Land Registry

X post!

I know but not much I can do until we split up. So I don't know what he will decide to do. My brother said he will pay for a good solicitor. Has to be better than this whatever outcome

If he doesn't at mortgage it will go into red and he will lose house

Exactly this form just registers your interest in the house with land registry
As previously said but ignored you need a solicitor, and a consent order. As a result of this you may be required to sell or you may not. No one here can tell you the outcome but it’s unlikely he’ll be expected to pay especially for 17 years .....
See a solicitor

In August last year, your husband had just left you. What’s happened since then? Are you still living together, have you agreed to divorce? I know that it’s all overwhelming, but it helps to get legal advice as soon as possible, because it helps give you a realistic perspective of what the outcome is likely to be so you can make good decisions and begin to move forward, than putting your head in the sand and latching onto the idea that you won’t have to do anything because the house can’t be sold, which is what it seems you’re doing. Could your brother help you find a good solicitor?

Tbh op you sound extremely naive. You need to get proper council from a solicitor not listening to hearsay.

He came back as promised he would do more and said things on anger etc. Was living in a bungalow with alcoholics and said couldn't take it anymore abs he would put my name's n house . I took him back and he refuses to put my name on house :(

Okay. Then you need to register your interest in the property using the HR1 you have, then find a solicitor. It doesn’t matter if your name isn’t on the deeds, the house is marital property, it’s a red herring in this instance. You need to get the divorce ball rolling, with proper legal advice so you know where you stand and what to expect, and no falling for his claims that he’ll pay the mortgage instead of child support or do this if only you’ll do that etc. Good luck.