what happens after sex?

[Pukkaupp]

For anyone in a LTR +10 years - I’m interested to know what happens between you after sex? Do you get lovely words from your OH? Is there laughter and romance or is it a quickie, no reference to it for the rest of the day and just get on with a normal day? I’m asking as I feel that I need some sort of verbal reassurance/loveliness/romance/intimacy after DTD. Is that unreasonable? Just wondering what others norm is?

those people that say thank you after seems a bit strange. If OH said that to me I would certainly point out i've nor provided a service as i'm not a prostitute

@Vesperia sometimes he keeps going after he’s come so I can have a second (or third) orgasm lol. I do thank him for those 😂 We do always say love you after, sometimes sleepily, sometimes with great enthusiasm and sometimes we do say ‘that was fucking good.’ Together 12.5 years and sometimes it still surprises me! We’ve got better at it with time and age.

Oh OP if you’re not happy with how he’s treating you after sex (or the rest of the time) then nothing we say will change it. Sometimes (I have had this) if we’ve had a row or whatever sex can make it feel even worse and more distant...maybe before focusing on the sex focus on just getting closer again in other ways? Do you feel he doesn’t appreciate you?

Ive never said “thanks”. Find that odd.

He goes to the toilet to get tissue, gives me some, he goes back, wipes, then i sleep or whatever. So does he.

No flag flying, no celebration, no hi-fives, no “that was amazing babe”...... that is cringey.

Morning sex only for some reason. Usually at the weekend as he gets up very very early for work and I'm not a morning person. He coughs - every time. I pass him water - every time. Lol Then he gets out of bed and cooks me breakfast in bed. It took a while, but I realised it was actually to keep me in bed so he can watch the football updates in peace rather than an overtly romantic gesture. Win win for both of us. Lol

*raleighJ are you fucking kidding me?

those people that say thank you after seems a bit strange

A bit strange.... Very odd more like

We pull apart I chuck him the wipes
(Just found out that while I get dressed he wipes his willy dry on the duvet!)
We tend to have a cuddle then we crack in for the day-or go to sleep if it’s late

My DP really knows how to work me over, so I usually crash out almost as soon as I come. Comatose until the next morning.

Roll as far away from each other as possible - we hate being too warm. Get up, clean up, go for a fag.

We're affectionate at other times.

I can't believe people thank each other

I usually shout SEVEEEEEN like Len Goodman, and give him tips to improve his tango for his next performance ;)

But seriously, if it's a quickie in the daytime, we don't really say much, just go about our day. We tend to be more 'lovey dovey' when we DTD at night, IDK why, night just feels more romantic. Love yous, kissing, cuddling, that sort of stuff. Never thanked each other though

raleighJ, that's really sad to read :( What a nasty thing for him to say.

We always cuddle up on sofa every night and are quite affectionate generally so after sex if theres no cuddling it doesnt bother me ,it depends on the time of day really

We resume discussing Brexit.

Dh says “well played” in a jokey way then I go to the toilet. By the time I get back to bed he’s snoring

If it’s what you need op, it’s what you need.
Your situation is particular, and if your partner wants to move from drought to flourish, he is going to have to give you some of what you need. And you to him naturally, butas it’s you here that needs the reassurance of a naughty vibe, and you both have to find a way to cook that up between you.
I wonder if one of the keys here is to really ask for what you want? Even the loveliest man finds women’s needs a bit of a mystery at times.

So what would that look like to you? To be seen with new eyes? To feel appreciated? To feel your partner reallypresent? To feel that he’s interested in you? Or one of a million other things.

I think that in a ltr we all get comfortable with rolling over and snoring, but you're rekindling flame.

Some of the comments on here are very sad. RayleighJ and others -sounds awful and I would feel so unloved and unloved.
We are not 10+ years.
We are older though (and hopefully wiser after both of us being divorced). He usually says 'that was awesome' or 'that was f*ing amazing' or 'can we do it again' or 'you're amazing that was so f**ing cool' and I reply with something I think is humour for me & him eg him -'you're amazing that's the best ' -and I might go.....I know not too shabby yourself this time- we have this non verbal communication where either he goes to clean up (followed by me when he is done) or we both cuddle and go later. I try to pee soon after sex to avoid UTI. Sometimes followed by a conversation of when can we do it next...... We set out clear boundaries at the start of our relationship about turn ons and offs and we both follow this. We had all the conversation of the wet patch etc before we had sex. There is a laugh, def a cuddle and an wrap round of each other. Yes reference to it later, even if it is in the kitchen and we say to each other 'You look happy' or 'nice glow about you' or some sort of comment, def a very close hug and def a cup of tea made by one or the other of us.

ilovemy Yours sounds quite sickly in my opinion. It wouldn’t work for us. Everyone is different and as long as you’re both happy that’s all that counts.

NataliaOsipova
I usually say “Get off me - I’ve had my use of you now” and go straight to sleep. But I’m sure that’s just me - I think my DH would prefer a little more conventional romance....😂

And they say romance is dead.

@RaleighJ please don't put up with such vile behaviour

I think there's been more eclipes then times we've had sex in the last few years, but when we do there's much mutual congratulations and appreciation. If he went mute and rolled over that would be the last time with me.

@Ilovemylabrador you’ve been watching too many films or reading books. 😂

26 years together and mostly only have sex in the morning. Midweek it’s pretty much jump straight into shower. At weekend its a quick cuddle and jump in the shower! But we are
generally affectionate during the day and both have a very unromantic approach to sex!

Depends sometimes we lie together cuddling and kissing other times its "right get up the dog needs walking" or "change places you can have the wet but I need to go to sleep"

Silverysurfer - are you my wife??

Yes, there's nothing quite like having sex with a man who, you suspect, would be happier if he could actually manage it from the other side of the room without touching you at all for making you feel objectified.

@SilverySurfer Believe it or not, we are pretty romantic in other respects. But I’m pretty blokeish when it comes to DTD. My DH is (I think!) used to me by now. I did ask him the other week if he felt used and objectified....but he said he was okay with it 😂