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Original poster

Online date number 25 (ish!). How many people did you meet...

70 replies

User20000000012 · 14/08/2019 19:26

Before you found someone who was right for you? And how long did it take?

I’m in year two and I think I’m on around date 25. Fed up is an understatement!

OP posts:
SonataDentata · 14/08/2019 19:37

Hundreds and never found anyone. Sorry.

Original poster
User20000000012 · 14/08/2019 19:41

Hundreds really?!

OP posts:
Original poster
User20000000012 · 14/08/2019 19:41

Over how long?

OP posts:
Hermie12 · 14/08/2019 19:47

I think about 20.

HarrietOh · 14/08/2019 19:48

4 years around 15 dates maybe? Never just dated everyone and anyone I chatted to preferred to be more selective as when I did just go with it never fancied them in slightest. It’s awful!

Original poster
User20000000012 · 14/08/2019 19:49

I hate it! But also it feels like the only way to meet people if in a busy job :(

OP posts:
Mum4Fergus · 14/08/2019 19:49

Hmm, 9 or 10 over the course of 18 months...met DH 2015, married a year last month.

gwilt · 14/08/2019 19:50

About 50 over 3 years. How long's a piece of string?!
Good luck Smile

toffeeapple123 · 14/08/2019 19:50

My goodness I’ve been on two dates in one year! Confused

Original poster
User20000000012 · 14/08/2019 19:55

It feels totally relentless and I hate it

OP posts:
Grobagsforever · 14/08/2019 19:58

Done it twice. First time it was two, dated that guy for 2 years. Second time was 9, still together. In both cases I was the man's first date..not sure if that's good or bad?? I'm 38, was 34 and 37 when dating.

Sianlouise432 · 14/08/2019 19:59

OP I'm intrigued about your tactics. How much do you talk to each person beforehand? Do you want a serious relationship? If so, are you open about what you're looking for? I'm settled now but with my particular dating strategy, things usually always progressed into a relationship (which in itself is problematic as you waste your time on someone who turns out to be batshit in the end anyway). Just being nosey, don't feel obliged to answer :)

Grobagsforever · 14/08/2019 19:59

Those 9 dates were over 1 year

PerfectionistProcrastinator · 14/08/2019 20:02

Ive internet dated on and off over the years. Last time I was single I joined match at the end of 2014. Met 1 person in March 2015 and we are now engaged.

There were more I could have met but this last time around I was picky. And I have had to move 2 hours away too!

I think internet dating is even bigger now than it was then though. People seem to go on so many dates and treat it as a numbers game.

Original poster
User20000000012 · 14/08/2019 20:02

I try and avoid messaging too much and have a phone call if I like their style of messages. Then I decide whether to meet. I usually meet briefly for one drink. I’m never interested in staying longer! Just haven’t found anyone I really like

OP posts:
Original poster
User20000000012 · 14/08/2019 20:03

The thing is I am open to relocating, happy to compromise on most things like that, willing to travel to date if it feels right.

But I’m not willing to do any of the above if I don’t feel into it! And I really haven’t met anyone I was excited to meet again.

OP posts:
nevernotstruggling · 14/08/2019 20:05

Dates I've been on since I left exh 7 years ago dozens....relationships which transpired, 4

Superstar101 · 14/08/2019 20:05

@Sianlouise432 - can I ask what your tactic is?

MotherofDragonsandPigs · 14/08/2019 20:08

16 dates in 3 months, then met my partner. That was 5 years ago, now we have a house and a baby.

Merename · 14/08/2019 20:10

Went on 3 first dates, 3rd was DH and been together 10yrs. I think that’s pretty lucky amongst people I know though and it can be really not a fun process.

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 14/08/2019 20:26

4 men, several dates with the first. Thought he was "the one" but it turns out he was a narcissist who dumped me as soon I showed him I wasn't the push over he'd been grooming me to be. Second one lived too far away but was fun until he lied about a weekend away and then admitted he was still living with his wife. He was separated and his wife had a new partner but he wasn't available really so I stopped seeing him. Third one was wonderful. Or so I thought. I was with him nearly a year. He turned out to be subtlety abusive and finding mumsnet taught me just what he was doing and I ended that. I had a couple of months off then went on a date with the 4th guy. I did an aibu to cancel as I just wasn't feeling it and his communication once I agreed to the date was crap. I was told by mumsnet that I was needy and crazy for expecting any communication from someone I was supposed to be meeting the next day so against my better judgement I went. He was much older in real life than he looked in his photo and I was wearing white chinos which put me off along with the text from his car telling me he had arrived when he could see me stood there waiting for him. He proceeded to slag off his parents and call his 10 yo daughter a cow. He only had them one night a week because he didn't want his social life disrupted. He then started talking about laundry and said he needed to get home to do some Confused He was blocked and deleted before he got to his car 😂 After that I decided that dating was too much like hard work and OLD was too full of freaks and liars. That was 15 months ago and I've loved being single ever since Smile

I think OLD takes a lot of time, energy and bravery and I'm lacking in all 3. Im 43, the available men my age are not what I am looking for. I don't want to make generalisations but the ones I chatted to were very obviously single for good reasons!

Good luck OP, there are some very positive stories on mn about OLD and I hope you too find your big love Thanks

Hermie12 · 14/08/2019 20:42

It is hit and miss . I was just at the point of thinking I’m giving all this a rest when I get got a message from my now DH

Original poster
User20000000012 · 14/08/2019 21:39

It feels endless and lonely. Not in a good frame of mind tonight!

OP posts:
MummyLikesCrisps · 14/08/2019 21:40

Loads! I used to go on dates just because I was hungry! Try to not get over invested in the beginning and go with the flow

Original poster
User20000000012 · 14/08/2019 21:43

Haha I’ve done that too! God it’s depressing!!!!!

OP posts: